


Field of Innocence

by KaenOkami



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaenOkami/pseuds/KaenOkami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a few moments of happiness as a child, to the conquest of Ba Sing Se, one way or another Lu Ten has always been there for his youngest cousin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - I have this one headcanon that Azula and Lu Ten were very close before his death, so that’s where this story came from. The title comes from the song ‘Field of Innocence’ by Evanescence. Give it a listen while you read if you want, but in my opinion it’s pretty damn depressing. This was originally going to be a oneshot, but it turned out to be longer than I thought, and it’s going to be three chapters. Enjoy!

_Not fair_ , thought Azula, kicking a rock across the courtyard to vent her anger. Zuko had been allowed to bend as soon as he was able to, but when she’d produced her first sparks, Mother insisted that she had to wait to train. And now, a few months later, she couldn’t even go with her to watch Zuko’s firebending lesson? _Not fair, not fair, not fair._

Wandering aimlessly around the palace and kicking at rocks did little to alleviate her agitation, so the four-year-old princess looked around for a more satisfying outlet. Her eyes landed on the little flock of turtleducks quacking and splashing around in the pond, and she glared at them. Mother gave those little creatures more affection than she had ever shown to Azula. Her foot nudged against the small rock she'd kicked earlier, and she bent down to pick it up. She tossed it lightly into the air once, caught it, and then pitched it as hard as she could at the turtleducks. She gave a satisfied smirk when it landed right in the middle of the group, sending them running frantically in all directions. It felt _good_ , Azula thought.

"Zula," a voice from behind chided her, making her jump. She spun around to see Lu Ten looking at her with a disapproving look. “What did you do that for? I doubt those turtleducks did anything to you.” 

Azula opened her mouth to answer him, but found that she didn’t know how to explain her actions to him. “I...I just felt like it! That’s all.” She crossed her arms and gave Lu Ten a defiant look.

Lu Ten raised an eyebrow at his younger cousin. This wasn’t like her. _No, he thought, there has to be something else going on_. He walked up to Azula, whose expression faltered for a moment, and knelt down to look her in the eyes. “I don’t think so, Zula,” he said gently. “Listen, is there anything bothering you? Anything you want to tell me about?”

Azula kept up the petulant expression for a minute, then her face fell. "Lu Ten, when did you start bending?"

"When I was six," Lu Ten replied slowly, a bit confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Weren't you able to start training when you started to bend? Zuko too?"

“Yes, Father started training me that afternoon, and Zuko began to train the next day.”

“Exactly! So why can’t I train yet?!” she shouted, making Lu Ten jump a little. Azula went on, “Is it because I’m not first born, or because I’m a girl? Why won’t Mother let me?”

 _Oh, so that’s it!_ Lu Ten put a calming hand on her shoulder, saying, “Hey, take it easy, okay? What did your mom tell you?”

“She said I’m too young to start firebending training yet, even though I can bend. Daddy says I should, but Mother’s still saying no. I don’t get it! You and Zuko were young when you started training, so why can’t I?”

“Well,” Lu Ten began, privately thinking that his aunt could have explained this a bit better to Azula. “It’s not that you’re worse than Zuko or me, it’s just that she’s worried about you.” He had to fight to keep from laughing at the way his little cousin scrunched up her face in confusion. “You have to understand, Azula, fire is the most dangerous element. It’s wild and it does what it wants. Especially for a young bender, it’s dangerous to use, because of how easily you could lose control of it and hurt yourself or someone else. That’s why your mother wants you to wait until you’re a bit older to start bending. Just being able to bend doesn’t make you ready to bend, you see,” he explained.

“So...She just doesn't want me to get hurt?"

Lu Ten didn’t like how surprised she seemed at that, and decided to look into it later. "Exactly. Your mom loves you a lot, Azula,” he reminded her, “and she wants to make sure you stay safe. Though you do have a point too - once you’re able to bend, you should learn to control it soon so no accidents happen. Like one time when I was little, I accidentally lit my dad’s tsungi horn on fire!”

Azula giggled. “But it’s metal! How did that happen?”

“Don’t ask me how I managed to do that,” Lu Ten said, chuckling along with her at the memory. “I still don’t know myself! But I did, and I can remember Dad telling me that it was all right, as long as I practiced more to make sure nothing like it happened again. And I think that’s what you need to ensure your safety. Azula, if it’s okay with your mom, do you want me to start training you?”

His cousin’s face lit up. “Will you?!”

“Sure,” Lu Ten smiled. “I’ll ask Aunt Ursa as soon as I can. And for now, why don’t we go find something to do that doesn’t involve terrorizing innocent turtleducks?”

“Can we play hide-and-explode?” Azula asked eagerly. “It’d be more fun if Mai and Ty Lee were around, but we can play it with just us, right?”

“Of course we can.” Lu Ten gave his cousin a quick smirk, and then poked her playfully on the forehead. "You’re it!” he said before wheeling around and dashing off towards the small forests on the palace grounds - reasoning that it was a better place to play the game and they’d be less likely to accidentally damage anything important - with Azula, all traces of her anger and indignation gone, sprinting after him. Seeing her bright grin and hearing her cheerful, carefree laughter, Lu Ten felt a deep sense of satisfaction at making his little cousin feel better, and resolved to make sure Azula and Zuko were always this happy. 

~0~

Azula clung tightly to her big cousin, with her arms around his neck and her knees hugging his hips, as he carried her on his back across the palace grounds. With her mother’s blessing, Lu Ten had told her, they were going to start her firebending training this morning, right at sunrise. She let out a huge yawn, not used to being up before the sun was.  
“Lu Ten, why’d we have to get up so early again?” she asked.

“We’re firebenders, we rise with the sun,” Lu Ten said, seeming completely unfazed by the early wakeup. “It's traditional for young firebenders to practice as the sun rises, because that's the time we can be closest to Agni and the other fire spirits. My dad told me it’s to bring us more in tune with the spirit world, and make us better benders.”

“Did you and Zuko do this when you started bending?” 

“Yeah. Well, I did. Dad tried to get Zuko up for it a few times, but that kid sleeps like the dead.” 

“Do you really think helps us get closer to the spirits?" Azula asked. Lu Ten was pleased to hear her sounding curious and hopeful instead of skeptical and mocking like her father.

"I know it does. Some benders actually feel their presence at times. Dad has, he told me about it.”

“They were actually with him? Wow...” Azula wondered if there was something specific you had to do to get the spirits to notice you, and made a mental note to ask her uncle later. “What’s it feel like?”

“Well...Dad said he couldn’t quite explain it, but you’d know it when you felt it. Oh, we’re here.” Lu Ten stopped, and Azula looked around at the place he’d chosen to begin their training. It looked like they were at the very edge of the island, on a wide, grassy, dew-soaked cliff about ten feet above the ocean. The calm, gently rippling water looked slate gray in the steadily growing light of the rising sun. Though it was barely sunrise, the air was quickly becoming comfortably warm. Azula decided she liked it.

Lu Ten knelt down and loosened his hold on her legs to let her climb down off his back. “All right,” he said, grinning at her. “Are you ready to start your training?” 

“Yeah!” Eager to begin, Azula tried to go into crane stance, but almost immediately started to wobble on one leg and tip backwards. Lu Ten caught her before she fell over, gently pulling her back into position.

"Easy, now," he murmured as he corrected her stance, moving her hand back and her knee above her waist, making sure to keep a hand on her shoulder to steady her. "See, to do a crane stance, you hold your leg and arms like this. We'll have to work on your balance when we get to these stances later." He lifted his hands up for a moment. "Is that better?"

"Mm-hmm." Azula focused all her attention on keeping her wobbling left leg from moving back and holding her right knee in the air. After a minute, Lu Ten thought she had the hang of it. 

“All right, I’m going to let go now,” he let her know. He carefully lifted his hands from her leg and shoulder and took a couple steps back to watch. Her stance was still shaky and a little awkward, but that was to be expected from a beginner. In fact, for someone who was just starting out, she was doing very well. “Good job, Zula!” he said proudly. “Okay now, natural position,” he said, demonstrating the relaxed stance. 

Azula quickly copied her cousin, looking very pleased with herself for doing the stance right. “What next?” 

“Well, which do you want to learn next: blocks, strikes, or kicks?”

“Umm...All three!”

Lu Ten laughed. “Maybe we’ll try a kata or two later. For right now, how about I show you the horse stance, and we'll move into some standard blocks and punches from there, okay?"

"Okay!" 

For the next two hours, Lu Ten drilled his younger cousin in all the basic moves and stances he could fit in. Azula, excited and delighted, threw herself into the training. Seeing Lu Ten demonstrate every form flawlessly, she was impressed and a little jealous. Moving carefully through the forms he’d taught her, with the sun's light growing brighter and warmer on her back, Azula's determination to one day be as great a warrior as him became stronger. 

She promised herself she'd train as much as she could, push herself as hard as possible, to be just as powerful as the rest of her family. Her big cousin, her great-grandfather, her father - yes, she thought as she shifted her weight back and forth and tried to move her arms faster to block Lu Ten's mock punches, one day, Azula would be just like them.

~0~

_"Zula, you want to practice your jump kicks for a bit before I have to go? You were having a little trouble with - Azula?!”_  
 _“L-Lu Ten, I...Please leave me alone!”_  
 _“Like hell I will - What happened to you?! Let me see your neck.”_  
 _“It’s okay, Lu Ten, it’s nothing! Really!”_  
 _“Agni above, it covers your whole shoulder...Azula, tell me what happened right now. Who did this?!”_  
 _"It...It was just an accident, I swear! We were training and...He didn't mean it! He said he was sorry right after, he didn't mean to do it!"_  
 _"Who did this to you, Azula?"_  
 _"D-Daddy was just trying to help me with a firebending form I had trouble with. He never meant to hurt me!"_  
 _"Azula, he burned a clear handprint on your back, you think he didn't mean it?! Wait...Zula, has this happened before?"_  
 _"Um...Well, it's just -"_  
 _"Answer me!"_  
 _"N-Not often...But they're just training accidents!"_  
 _"Oh, of course they are! Ugh, I can't believe this...But considering it's him, I can't say I'm surprised. Azula, you stay right here until I come back. Don't leave your room, do you understand?"_  
 _"But, Lu Ten, where are you going? Please don't say anything to my dad! Lu Ten!"_  
 _"Stay here!"_

In his nineteen years as a prince and a soldier, Lu Ten had dealt with corrupt backstabbing Fire Nation politicians, fierce and brutal Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe soldiers, and much of the scum of the earth in general. None of them had been able to provoke the kind of pure burning rage he felt spurring him on now. His stomach was churning, he could barely see straight, and the only thing he could think of was _hunting that man down and making him answer for this._

Servants dove out of the visibly furious prince's way as he sprinted blindingly fast through the halls of the palace, with his eyes blazing and expression frightening. Right now he didn't care if he knocked one of them over, he had no time to be his usual polite self. Vaguely, he thought that if his father or aunt saw him, they’d stop him even if he told them what was going on. _Well,_ he answered himself, _it’s a good thing they’re out, then. No one to protect you now, Uncle._

He didn’t know how long or how far he’d run before he caught sight of his target’s back. His face contorted into a feral snarl. _“Uncle Ozai!”_ he roared, and he had the satisfaction of seeing the man jump. He reached Ozai in seconds and grabbed him by the front of his robes.

"I just saw Azula. I saw what you did to her! What the hell is wrong with you, Uncle?! Why would you do that to her?!” he demanded.

Ozai’s expression was frustratingly calm. “I don't know what you're talking about, Lu Ten. Azula's just fine. Training's been a little hard for her lately, but - "

"Don't even try to deny it! You burned your handprint into her back! She’s five years old, you sick bastard! Why in Agni’s name would you think, _Yes, this is perfectly okay, let me just horribly burn my own daughter?_ Why?!” 

“Maybe it was just an accident, did you ever think of that? Maybe I just faltered on a complicated form, and fell too near Azula? Or...” Ozai’s face split into a sadistic grin. “Maybe she’s proven as incompetent as her brother one too many times, and just had to be taught a lesson.” 

Hearing that, Lu Ten let out a howl of rage, and he slammed his uncle against the wall so hard he heard it crack. "Y-You...You sick...twisted...son of a - !" His head was spinning, his vision went red, and he could barely see straight. His hatred and disgust for his uncle choked him, and he was unable to force out another intelligible word.

Ozai was unfazed by his nephew's wild anger, and acted as if he didn't even notice his knuckles grinding into his ribs. He gave a smug smirk in response to the other's feral snarl. "Why so upset, Prince Lu Ten? The wound is minor, really. It won't even leave a scar. Besides, they’re _my_ children, if you’ve forgotten, and they are mine to raise how _I_ see fit.”

“They...? Have you done this to Zuko too?!” Lu Ten screamed, lunging forward so his face was about two inches away from Ozai’s. “Have you done this before?!”

His uncle snickered. “What’s it to you? You’re not their brother, even if you like to act like you are, nor are you a good teacher. I’ve seen how they fight and bend with you training them, and it’s pathetic. All I’m doing is making them strong. It’s not my problem if you don’t like my methods.”

“I’m about to make it your problem!” Lu Ten fixed his uncle with a fierce glare, his eyes like gold fire. "Now you listen to me, Uncle, and listen good," he growled. "If you hurt either one of those kids again, if you say anything to make them feel bad, if you so much as look at them wrong, I will face you in an Agni Kai and _I will break and humiliate you in front of the whole court._ I don't care who you are. I don't care if our family is watching. I’ll hold nothing back, I will destroy you!”

As he listened to the younger prince’s tirade, Ozai’s smile faded. True, he was a prince of the Fire Nation and an incredibly powerful bender...but so was Lu Ten. 

The boy had won just as many Agni Kai as Ozai had despite being twelve years younger, and was already leading troops out to crush rebellions in the outer islands. He was making his threats in anger, but he was still completely serious. And Ozai knew his nephew was perfectly capable of backing up his threat. He grimaced. He would dearly love to give in to his pride, to just say 'Go ahead and try it!' and teach this brat a lesson in the dueling arena, but his sense of self-preservation told him it was time to back down and not provoke the younger prince's wrath again.

"You should learn your place, nephew," he snarled, shoving Lu Ten away and stalking off down the hall. "Did Iroh never teach you respect?"

"Did Grandfather never teach you decency?" Lu Ten snapped back. Ozai didn't respond, and Lu Ten watched his back until he disappeared around the corner. When his uncle was out of sight, he took a deep breath and let out a long sigh as his fury slowly faded. He had settled things, he told himself, he had laid down the law with his uncle, and now there was only one thing left to do.

Lu Ten turned and started to walk back the way he came. As he made his way through the corridors, he realized he had run all the way to the other side of the palace in his mad dash to find Ozai, and gave a short, breathless laugh at the thought. When he passed by them, the servants watched him warily - they'd been startled by his wild behavior a few minutes before, and although he was calm now, they were still nervous at the blank expression on their normally smiling prince’s face. He’d try to reassure them some time later, he decided. Like before, he had only one thing on his mind now. 

After about ten minutes of walking, Lu Ten reached his destination. He threw open the door, and internally kicked himself when his sudden entrance made the girl huddled under her covers jump. "D-Daddy?" she whimpered, sounding close to tears. "Daddy, I swear I didn't tell him anything, I - "

"Relax, Zula. It's me," he said soothingly, thinking to himself that he should have punched Ozai right in the face when he had the chance. The life of a member of the royal family was nerve-wracking enough, his cousins didn’t need or deserve any more. He quickly crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to her. He carefully pulled back the thick red blanket, uncovering his cousin's frightened, tearstained face staring up at him. “Come here,” he said, opening his arms to her, and Azula leaped into his lap without a second’s hesitation. He held her close to his chest, careful not to touch her burned shoulder, and murmured, “It’s all right now. Your dad won’t do anything to hurt you again, I made sure of it. And if he ever does or says anything to you or your brother, you tell me right away. No matter what he tells you, okay? Promise me you’ll do that.”

“O-Okay,” she agreed, still sniffling a little. “Are...are you gonna tell Zuko too?”

So his fears were confirmed. “Yes, of course, as soon as you’re okay here. You guys don’t need to be scared of him anymore, know why? Because he’s scared of me. I made sure of that, too.” He had seen it in his uncle’s eyes when he threatened to challenge him to an Agni Kai. Ozai’s experience and intense training had made him powerful, but Lu Ten knew his own righteous anger and passion would make his fire burn hotter and stronger. He hoped it wouldn’t come to a duel, but if it did, they both knew who would win. He hugged Azula tighter to him. “It’s all right now,” he repeated.

“Th-Thanks, Lu Ten,” Azula said, giving him a small smile. She looked completely relieved, and snuggled closer to her big cousin.

Feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off him, Lu Ten returned the smile. “I promise you, Zula, as long as I’m here, I’ll always protect you.”


	2. Chapter 2

"All right, Zula, your turn!"

Azula jumped to her feet and ran to the center of the training field, making Zuko giggle at her eagerness as she passed him. He headed off to the side and flopped down on the still slightly dewy grass, lying on his back and taking in well-deserved deep breaths. After his big cousin’s unrelenting firebending drills, he was winded, but satisfied. Azula stood, straight-backed and ready, in attention position, waiting for Lu Ten’s instructions.

"You're ready?" he asked.

“Yes, Sifu,” she nodded.

"Defensive stance."

_Okay,_ Azula thought as she moved into position, _right leg back, back foot turned, fists up, left one forward, right one by the chin. Perfect._

"Bend your knees, Zula."

_Darn it._ She narrowed her eyes in annoyance, and she lowered herself into the proper stance. 

“Crescent kick, begin - One!”

Making sure to keep her hands up, Azula moved forward and swung her right leg in an arc in front of her. She looked to Lu Ten for appraisal as she returned to defense stance.

"You're getting better," he said. "You're getting faster, you've got good form - "

"What's wrong?" Azula didn't like it when he had to criticize her, but hated it when he danced around it instead of getting to the point.

Lu Ten hesitated, then said, in a more serious tone, "You've got to kick higher. Here - " He stuck his hand out and down, holding it eye-level about two feet away from her. "Get the kick over my hand. Begin!"

Azula tried again, with a little more success, but her heel still brushed over the back of Lu Ten's hand. _Not enough!_

"Higher, higher...Two!"

She kicked out again, stretching out her leg as far as it would go...and successfully cleared her cousin’s hand. Her face split into a wide grin. “I did it!”

“You certainly did,” Lu Ten said proudly. “Keep it up, now - Three!”

He had her go through several more repetitions of the kick, and with him giving tips and encouragement the few times she did it wrong and either hit his hand or passed under it, she had gotten the hang of the move in just a few minutes.

“Nice job,” he told her. “Make sure you spend more time practicing that one and the spinning hook, so you can keep it that way. Now, think you can try it with fire?”

“I think so, Sifu."

"Try."

She dropped into position, forcing down her nervousness and preparing to call up her fire. Silently she prayed to Agni not to let her lose control of it. In their last few training sessions, she had gotten too enthusiastic and made her flames too large and strong, nearly hitting Lu Ten. He was skilled enough to avoid them easily, and it had only happened a couple times, but still. To Azula, it was a couple times too many to make such a potentially damaging amateur mistake.

"You can do it, Azula!" Zuko called from the sidelines, his voice slightly strained from the push-ups he'd been doing while she worked with Lu Ten. Azula couldn’t help it: hearing her big brother’s encouragement made her serious expression falter, and she smiled a little. 

"I know, Zuko!" she called, and without hesitation she swung her leg forward and brought forth a bright crescent of fire in front of her. It was at a perfect size too, not so big as to be dangerous and not so small as to be weak and ineffectual. Azula smirked with satisfaction as she returned to her defensive stance. 

"Very good," Lu Ten said approvingly while Zuko attempted to cheer in the middle of a push-up. “Have you been practicing the other forms I showed you?” 

“Yes, Sifu.”

“All right then, I want you to show me, as I tell you. Understand?”

“Yes, Sifu.”

“Side kick, left and right, begin!”

Azula shifted her weight to the right and kicked her leg out to the left - _keep your balance, keep the leg straight, kick with the heel_ \- and shot out a stream of fire from her foot, feeling its heat warm the metal soles of her boots. She shifted to the left, and did it again with her right leg. And she kept going, with each of her cousin’s commands: roundhouse kick, front kick, stretch kick, spinning thrust, spinning hook, from the left leg and right leg, front leg and rear leg; bringing forth strong streams of fire with each one. True, she was sacrificing focus on technique for focus on her flames, and Lu Ten had to correct her mistakes several times, but Azula considered it a necessary annoyance to put up with until she could control her bending perfectly, like Lu Ten had said, and be able to practice and fight without worrying about hurting anyone by accident.

"Great work, Zula," Lu Ten praised her. "You've improved, both of you. Now Zuko, come back here so you two can show me your forms." 

Zuko dashed into the center of the field and stood in attention position beside his younger sister, excitedly waiting for Lu Ten's instructions. "Which one first?" he chirped.

"Horse stance," ordered Lu Ten, and his cousins obeyed. "Tenoken number two, begin."

Slow and careful and in near-perfect sync, Zuko and Azula fell into archer stance, pivoted and threw reverse punches, and finished with a roundhouse kick and a return to horse stance.

"Not bad, not bad. You move together very well." Personally, Lu Ten thought training them to work together was going fairly well. He'd noticed that they'd get along better after their sessions together, at least. He was proud of how good they'd gotten over the past year, but of course, there was always room for improvement. "Azula, you need to pivot more and Zuko, you need a stronger kick. Let's try it once mo - Ah?"

Zuko and Azula followed their cousin's gaze upward to see a messenger hawk gliding through the air towards them. It came down smoothly and landed on Lu Ten's outstretched forearm, and he took the scroll from its talons and unrolled it.

"Ah...I see," he muttered to himself. He rolled the scroll back up and sent the hawk back on its way, and looked down at his cousins. “Okay, change of plans. We’re going to have to stop training early - hey, hold on, hold on!” he said when both kids immediately started to protest. "Listen, my dad wants us to meet him back in the city. He says he's got big news for us."

"What is it?" Zuko asked, his face lighting up with excitement.

"If he knew, he'd have told us, Zuzu." Azula was as curious as her brother was to find out what their uncle wanted, but was far less certain that it would be good news. Uncle Iroh had never interrupted their training before, she reasoned, why would he do that now, and leave all three of them _wondering_ why on top of it?

"Oh, right..." Zuko's enthusiasm faltered for maybe half a second before he perked up again. "So we've got to go see right now! Let's go, let's go!" He tapped his sister's shoulder and they both dashed off across the field like lynx-gazelles on chi-enhancing tea.

"W-Wait!" yelped Lu Ten, scrambling after them but unable to catch up. They had a pretty good head start on him. "Don't go where I can't see you!" He just barely caught the sound of them laughing at him in the distance, and he gave a frustrated huff.   
“You two don’t even know where we’re supposed to go!”

Damn it all to the demons' realm, they always did this to him! _Ugh...when did I become the mother lynx-gazelle? This better be good, Dad..._

~0~

The warm summer wind lazily blew the golden grass around, making the short, sun-dried blades rustle all around Iroh. He had been the only one in the memorial ground for a long while, sitting peacefully in front of a single grave marker, but now the quiet, still atmosphere was broken when he heard something else rustling the grass louder and faster. Iroh turned to see Zuko and Azula running towards him, with Lu Ten striding behind them looking much more dignified. 

"You got here faster than I expected, children," he remarked, smiling as they reached him.

"Uncle Iroh! What's your big news?" Azula asked, face flushed and eyes wide with excitement. 

"Well, my niece, we - "

"Hey, Uncle, who's that?" Zuko interrupted, pointing to the ink portrait propped up against the gravestone. If he noticed the irritated look his sister shot him, he didn't let on.

"That's my mom, Zuko," Lu Ten told him as he came up behind them, and gave a light laugh at the surprised look on Zuko's face at his words.

"Yes," Iroh confirmed. "My beautiful late wife, Colonel Kei Rin."

"You know, I don't think we've ever heard about Aunt Kei Rin," Azula said, intrigued. "What was she like?" 

"I think you'd have liked her, Zula," Lu Ten began, kneeling next to them and looking fondly at his mother's portrait. "She was an exceptional woman, and a brilliant soldier. At the prime of her military career, Earth Kingdom generals issued a flee-on-sight order for her."

"Wow..." Azula was awed. "They almost never do that!"

"Mm-hm, that's right," Lu Ten went on. "A lot of the nobles and other higher-ups didn't like her, though. She would give you only the respect she thought you deserved and not a bit more. Now that I think about it, she could be pretty cold to people she didn't care for. But to her family, she was always warm and kind. When she was home, she'd tell me all about everything she'd seen and done in the Earth Kingdom. I remember we'd stay up really late because I kept asking, 'Mom, one more story; Mom, one more story.' And she'd take a few hours every day before she had to leave again to teach me firebending."

"She did? I thought Uncle Iroh taught you how to fight," Zuko said, quirking an eyebrow.

"We both helped in his training," Iroh said, "but Kei Rin was far and away the more skilled bender. In fact, I believe I first fell in love with her when I saw her perform an absolutely perfect Dragon Whirlwind."

"A Dragon Whirlwind? Even Dad can't do that!"

"Very few people can, it's one of the most difficult firebending forms. At first when I tried to court her, she brushed me off. Kei Rin was a very driven woman, you see, and she thought if she got into a relationship, she’d have to give up her ambition to rise to the top ranks of the military. Once she was sure I wouldn’t hold her back, she agreed to give me a chance. I have a sneaking suspicion it had to do with my dashing good looks." He chuckled and gave the younger three a small smile, as if sharing a juicy secret with them. "I used to be quite a looker, you know."

While his cousins giggled, Lu Ten looked as if he’d just mistakenly swallowed a bad squid. “Dad...Ew...”

Iroh joined his niece and nephew in laughter at Lu Ten’s expression. “Sorry, son. Anyway, things just went beautifully from there. We served together in the army for many years.”

“What happened to her?” Azula asked, adding her aunt to her mental list of people worth emulating.

“Eleven years ago, she fell in battle,” Lu Ten said somberly, his eyes narrowing. “She was trying to capture the waterways of the central Earth Kingdom, to try and give us a way into Ba Sing Se. But at the harbor town of Anjing, the Earth Kingdom captain How sprung a trap on her, and managed to kill her in the ensuing fight. Apparently he was promoted to general for being able to finally get rid of her,” he added bitterly. Neither of his stunned cousins knew what to say. 

“One miscalculation cost us her life,” Iroh murmured. “I will miss her every day. Lu Ten," he said, looking up at his son, "your mother would be very proud of you for what you have done, and what you are about to do."

"About to - That's right, Dad, you said you had big news for us. What is it?"

Iroh got to his feet to look Lu Ten in the eyes. "We have been chosen to lead the army to Ba Sing Se, lay siege to it, and eventually capture the city."

Three gasps of surprise came from the younger ones. Lu Ten's lips fell open and his eyebrows shot up nearly into his hairline. "Dad...They picked us to do it?"

Iroh nodded. "You and I were chosen specifically by Fire Lord Azulon. He has placed his complete faith in us to finally take Ba Sing Se for the Fire Nation."

Lu Ten's face hardened as his initial surprise wore off. When he spoke, it was in a much more formal tone than his cousins were used to hearing from him. "It is an honor to be selected for such a mission. Before we leave, I must be sure to personally thank Grandfather for believing me worthy to accompany you." 

"Lu Ten..." Azula and Zuko were looking up from their big cousin to their uncle with astonishment. 

"How about this, you guys?" Lu Ten asked in his normal casual tone, smiling at his cousins. "Soon Ba Sing Se's going to be ours!"

"Yeah!" Zuko's shock quickly gave way to excitement. "The earthbenders won't stand a chance once we let you guys loose on them!" 

While the older three laughed, Azula remained silent. It hadn’t occurred to Zuko yet, but it was the first thought that had come into her head: her uncle and cousin were going away, and there was no telling when they’d be back. Uncle Iroh went to the Earth Kingdom on military duty all the time, but this was the first time Lu Ten had been farther than one of the Outer Islands. All his other missions only kept him away from home for a couple months at most, but this...In every way, this was huge. Lu Ten was right, it was a great honor, and Azula would put on a smile for her proud and excited family and mean it too, but at her core, she didn’t like this at all.

~0~

"The seas are calm today, my son," Iroh remarked, looking out at the gently moving ocean from the wide window of his room. “If it takes us more than a week to reach the Earth Kingdom, I’ll be very surprised.”

“I won’t. Things change quickly, you know.”

At the dismal tone in Lu Ten’s voice, Iroh turned to see him out on the balcony, leaning with crossed arms on the dark wooden balustrade. He stared out at the hundreds of intricately designed buildings, the wide expanse of red, white, and gold that made up the Caldera, but he wasn't seeing any of it. His eyes, Iroh recognized, had the look in them of one who was somewhere very far away at the moment. 

He let out a soft sigh. For the past couple weeks, Lu Ten had been nothing but driven and dutiful, focusing on nothing but preparing himself and everything else for their mission. There hadn’t been a trace of sorrow to be found on the prince until today, the morning of their departure. For once, the nineteen-year-old actually looked his age, if not younger, and Iroh felt his heart twist. Paternal instinct moved him to Lu Ten's side, and he laid a comforting hand on his armored shoulder. 

"I know, son. This is one of the more difficult things you will ever do, and you know as well as I do that this is far from the last burdensome task you will have to undertake in your life. But, it is for the best...and it will be all right."

"I understand," Lu Ten said dully, neither moving nor looking at his father. "But still...There's so much that could happen, so much...that could go wrong."

"That is true," Iroh admitted. There was no use in sugarcoating it and saying everything would be all right. This was war: one should always be prepared for the worst. "However, we are of the Fire Nation royal family, descended from the great dragons and Agni himself. Strength and desire for victory run in our veins. So no matter what happens, we can and will fight through it, together."

"I know that too," Lu Ten said. A trace of familiar determination was returning to his deep golden eyes as he gazed over the cityscape at the distant rolling waves. "I am ready and willing to do anything to end this war, and unite the world under our nation. Is feeling afraid of what it will take to do that dishonorable, even if it won't stop me from going through with it? This is bigger than anything else I've ever had to do - I mean, I've never even been so far outside of the Fire Nation before. And when we go, even with all my strength and skills, what if...what if I'm not enough? What if I can't take it?"

Iroh gave the young man's shoulder a comforting pat. "The brightest fire can burn through the deepest night. You must burn your fears away, for they will only drag you down. Do not worry. There is nothing we cannot overcome together."

Lu Ten turned to look at him then. He smiled, but it did not quite reach his eyes. "I hope you've got a lot more of those proverbs, Dad. Because I get the feeling that I'll be sorely needing them soon."

"We can do this, Lu Ten. You must have faith in yourself and in us." Iroh gave a reassuring smile, a genuine one, and squeezed the younger prince's shoulder. "We can do this, have no doubt of it. When we have taken Ba Sing Se and won this war, we will return home together."

"Right...We will." Lu Ten straightened up, taking his arms off the carved railing. The uncertainty in his expression was gone, though whether it had been fully extinguished or simply shoved down within the young man, under every other emotion. Iroh suspected the latter, but that would do for now. Lu Ten's eyes - the color of molten gold, like his mother's - once again held the look of the warrior prince, proud and strong and battle-ready as they roved over the Caldera once more before settling on their fleet of warships assembling at the docks. 

He reached up and ran his fingers lightly over the hilt of one of the dual blades strapped to his red armored back. He had painstakingly forged those weapons with his own hands, Iroh remembered, during those years he had trained under Master Piandao. Jianhuren, he'd named them: the dragon-claw dao swords. His son took particular pride in the fact that in the entire world, there were no blades at all like his precious weapons. Perhaps one day, Iroh thought, Lu Ten would pass them on to his own child. The mental image made the old soldier's heart lift.

With a short metallic _shing,_ Lu Ten drew one of the swords from its sheath, holding it out in front of him and pointing towards the ocean - to the Earth Kingdom. The sunlight shining on the silver blade, polished to perfection, matched the bright gleam in the young prince's eyes. 

"With these blades," he declared, one corner of his mouth edging up into a true, confident smile, "I will bring peace. I swear it." He turned to meet his father's eyes again. "I'll become a son you can truly be proud of, Dad."

Iroh gave an affectionate chuckle. What a wonderful boy the spirits had blessed him with. He'd never know what he'd done to deserve Lu Ten. "You don't need to work for that at all," he informed the younger soldier. "You never have, and you never will. I promise, I shall always be proud of you, Lu Ten."

"Thanks, Dad. That's...It's really great to hear that, you know. Especially right now." He sheathed his sword. Under his father's hand, he was not relaxed, but the worst of the tension had left his body. "We'd better get down to the docks, shouldn't we? It’s just about time for us to go.”

“Then let us go.” 

His hand sliding off his son’s armor, Iroh turned and started for the door, then stopped and looked back when he did not hear a second set of footsteps behind him. Despite his words, Lu Ten looked reluctant to move from the balcony. 

“There is no point in hesitating, my son,” Iroh said gently. “The only way to get past hardships is to face them head-on and plow through. It would serve you well to remember everything I've said here. Come, now."

"You're right, I know...Let's go." With one last look at the hawk's eye view of the Caldera, Lu Ten turned and followed his father out of the room, starting for the docks.

~0~

By the time they'd reached the courtyard, the two princes had exchanged goodbyes and such with what felt to Lu Ten like every servant, guard, noble, and (to Lu Ten's embarrassment) concubine in the palace. However, when they reached the outermost courtyard of the palace grounds, the last person to approach them was the last one Lu Ten had expected.

"What a surprise, Uncle. I must say, I didn't think you'd bother to see us off. I'm honored, truly."

The acid in Lu Ten's voice, only thinly veiled by false politeness, had become so commonplace in the last year that there was no way Ozai didn't hear it, but he only gave Lu Ten a short nod of acknowledgement and turned to address Iroh. 

"Is it not right that I should bid my brother and nephew farewell? After all, there is no way to know for certain when you'll return home."

"With Agni's blessing, it will be soon," Iroh said, his voice and expression kept carefully neutral. "We estimate that it will take roughly three months to reach Ba Sing Se. There are several strategies Lu Ten and I have been devising to either bring down the walls or find some way to maneuver into the city through them."

"Is that so?"

Lu Ten couldn't tell if Ozai's interested tone was false or not, and if it was genuine, if it was hiding anything. His uncle still looked so smug...Time to take him down a notch, once more before he left. "But surely you knew that already, Uncle? As a prince you should be involved in the war effort, correct?"

The smile plastered on his uncle's face went tight, and he gave a dull chuckle. "Of course you are correct, Prince Lu Ten. I had repeatedly requested permission to accompany you, and fight by the side of my family. However, I don't believe my voice is heard in the war meetings. In Father's ears, it always seems to get drowned out by something."

"Your time will come, brother. Have patience," Iroh assured him, ignoring the slight emphasis on Ozai's last few words. Lu Ten was less compassionate.

"Well, Grandfather would know best, after all. Perhaps he sees that you would be of less use on the battlefield than you are here at the palace."

If Lu Ten hadn't been looking for it, he'd have missed the flash of anger in Ozai's eyes. "Perhaps," he said tonelessly.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say before we depart, Ozai?" Iroh. "It would be poor form for us to be late and make the fleet wait."

"Of course...Brother," Ozai began. "I know we have had our disagreements over the years - " Lu Ten suppressed a derisive snort at the conciliatory tone, but Iroh listened with full attention - "however, as I said, there is no way to know when we will get the chance to speak again. I...” Ozai hesitated for a moment, a contrite expression coming over his face. “I do wish we could have gotten along better in the past, despite our differences. We are brothers, and that will never change. As much as I want to be the one gaining honor on the battlefield, as a prince I must put my nation before my personal desires. You are far and away the best choice for this mission - if anyone can take Ba Sing Se, it is you and your son. All I want to leave you with before you go, is that I wish you the best of luck. Serve the Fire Nation well.”

“We shall, I promise. Thank you for your kind words, brother,” Iroh said, a smile coming on to his face. “When we return, I will put in a good word for you with our father. You’ll not be left out.”

One corner of Ozai’s mouth twitched upward: the closest thing to a smile he could normally muster. “That is good to hear. Now, you should continue on your way, I would feel just awful if I were to make you late. Farewell to you both.” He stepped aside, gesturing to the gate that led down the crater’s slope, and strode back in the direction of the palace interior. 

As the two passed through the gate and started down the winding stairway, Lu Ten moved closer to Iroh’s side. “Father, did you honestly believe all of that?” he asked in a whisper intended less harshly than it came out. “You can’t honestly think that was true, at least not completely.”

“...I want to believe it," Iroh said quietly. The smile (and Lu Ten realized it might not have been as sincere as he had thought) had disappeared, replaced with a grave expression. "Trust me, I want very badly to believe it. However, you are right. It's too much to hope."

"I don't trust him," Lu Ten growled, glaring back at the gate where his uncle had been. "Whatever we do at Ba Sing Se, we need to do it fast. Nothing good can come of leaving him at the palace unchecked for long.” 

“Ozai is a cunning man, and he is growing adept at winning influence, but he is not the kind who can garner popularity with the court or with the people as you and I do,” Iroh pointed out. “Still, you make a good point. Don’t worry, we will be certain to check on the situation at home twice as often while we are gone.”

_I wasn’t thinking of the political web,_ Lu Ten thought, as his cousins’ faces - all wide eyes and nervous frowns looking up at him for guidance and protection - flashed into his mind. 

The longer he left the two alone while he fought in the Earth Kingdom, the longer Ozai would have to do as he pleased with them. True, his aunt Ursa would still be there to look after them - not even Ozai would be stupid or arrogant enough to provoke her mother tigerwolf instincts - but it had been the three of them together keeping Ozai at bay for the past year. Princess Ursa was a strong and unyielding woman, he couldn’t deny that, but he worried that she might not be enough. Zuko would be fine under her protection, more or less; she’d always been there for him. But he worried about how Azula would fare without him. With her focus on giving her kindhearted, thin-skinned son the love he needed - the love of two parents - he also couldn’t deny that Ursa often unintentionally fell short in doing the same for her daughter, who was tougher but no less in need of genuine affection. Azula might have Ozai’s favor, but she would never have his love. None of them would.

Lu Ten heaved a deep, harried sigh. It wouldn’t do to get overwhelmed by this, he had a mission to focus on. He would do his duty, and then worry about their family issues when he could afford to. _I just have to hope that I’ll get back in time to undo any damage...I have to put my trust in the three of them to stay strong together._

~0~

As soon as his brother and nephew disappeared through the gate and down the slope, the smile dropped from Ozai’s face. 

His eyes narrowed, and his lip twisted into a grimace. Spouting all that sentimental drivel turned his stomach, but if it might help divert suspicion from him, then it had to be done. And his brother was no help at all. Put in a good word for him with Father - tch! 

So long as Iroh - the great and glorious Dragon of the West, the perfect firstborn who could do no wrong - was still in the picture, he would be worthless in Azulon’s cold, pitiless eyes. No matter what he did, he would still be lost in his big brother’s shadow as he had been all his life, always lagging behind, running to catch up and never quite making it. If he didn’t do something and do it quickly, he would be a meaningless footnote in Fire Nation history at best and forgotten entirely at worst. It was the fate of the second-born, the spare prince who only existed just in case anything happened to the heir (the true son, as far as the Fire Lord was concerned), destined to be an undesired replacement or nothing at all. That was how it had been for every inferior prince, always.

But that was not how it was going to end for him.

A feeling of sweet satisfaction warmed him as he remembered what would transpire at Ba Sing Se. Even if Iroh returned - which was still unlikely - today would mark the last time Ozai would ever see his nephew's face. Iroh was stronger and first in line to the throne, true, and he would be targeted as well, but Lu Ten's death was his highest priority. 

If his father were to fall in battle, Lu Ten would grieve, but was strong enough to soldier on without losing his good judgment. More importantly, he would hold on to his new status as crown prince like a starving dog to a scrap of meat, and keep Ozai as far away from the throne as humanly possible. The boy's weak points lay elsewhere, and it would not do to kill either of those yet. Iroh, on the other hand, would break laughably easily if hit in the right place. His brother was hailed as a genius, but he was foolish enough to wear his heart on his sleeve, and make his greatest weakness the most obvious.

He'd been embarrassingly unprepared when Kei Rin had fallen, and had missed his first opportunity to take advantage of her widower's despair and make a bid for the heirship, but everything would be carefully prepared this time. At the thought of the payoff to all his planning, the corners of Ozai's mouth stretched up into a grin, his lips peeling back to bare his teeth. Lu Ten would never return from the Earth Kingdom, Iroh would return broken if he did not die as well, and he, Ozai, would claim his rightful place as Fire Lord. Absolute _perfection._

"Farewell to you both," he said to himself, not bothering to hide his gleeful bloodlust when he was alone. "Give Kei Rin my regards when you're reunited." 

~0~

As soon as they got close to the Capital Harbor, the scents of salt and seaweed - much stronger than the metallic, fumish smell of the docked war ships - hit Lu Ten with a gust of ocean wind. 

"Ugh, right in the face...Obnoxious ocean," he groused, wrinkling his nose. "I'm glad we're not headed for the Water Tribes."

"Come on now, son," Iroh said with a laugh, "perhaps the sea air will be good for you."

"Maybe, maybe not. I haven't even set foot on the ship yet and already I can't wait to get back on solid ground. I don't know why I'm still not used to being on the water."

"A son of Agni through and through, I suppose. Now, we board at the tenth pier, correct?"

"Yes, there's our ship..."

The Fire Nation Capital Harbor at this day of the week and time of the day was, as a rule, always crowded full to bursting and in constant harried motion, and the activity only began to slow down to a gentler pace when the sun began to sink below the horizon. But if it was merely chaotic on a normal day, then today it was a veritable madhouse. Lu Ten wouldn’t have been at all surprised if every soldier in the capital was here boarding his or her war ship, along with what looked like their entire immediate and extended families along to see them off. Their ship was at the very farthest pier from the entrance, so the two had to wade through an inhospitable sea of distracted crewmen, tearful goodbyes, and general commotion. His father had suggested that they take the palanquin, but it never felt right to Lu Ten to still enjoy the luxuries of royalty while serving in the army. While he was performing princely duties with his military service, for the duration of his service he was a soldier just like all the others, he reasoned. 

When they finally made it to their pier, Lu Ten was momentarily confused when he saw that it was empty save for three people, but his face lit up when he saw who they were, and he nudged his father excitedly. “And there’s our welcome committee!”

“You two look well." Ursa came up to them with a smile. "I thought you might be late, you are the last ones to board."

"Come now, dear Ursa, that would be most unbecoming of us," Iroh chuckled, embracing his sister-in-law. "Thank you for coming to see us off."

“We actually got here early. I would have waited just a little, but Zuko and Azula insisted,” Ursa explained, inclining her head to her children, waiting expectantly at the end of the pier. 

“Ah, I see.” Iroh pulled back to look at the pair, who came running to them at their mother’s gesture. “Did you think you would miss us?”

“We know we’re going to miss you, Uncle,” Zuko said plaintively while Azula nodded agreement. “How long are you going to be gone, again?”

“Well...you see, young ones...”

While Iroh spoke with his niece and nephew, Ursa turned and opened her arms to her own nephew. “Don’t I get a hug from you too?”

Lu Ten smiled and hugged his aunt. It would, admittedly, be a stretch to say that Ursa had been like a surrogate mother to him since the death of his own, but she had never been anything but kind to him since she’d joined the royal family. Uncle never deserved her, he thought bitterly. “I’ll miss you,” he said sincerely. “I’ll try to come back soon. Can you and the kids write to us? We’ll write back to you, let you know how we’re doing.”

“Of course we will,” Ursa assured him. “Be safe, Lu Ten. You and your father both. Remember we have faith in you.”

“I will. I promise. Aunt Ursa...can you promise me something? I know you'd do it anyway, so please don't take it the wrong way, but...I only want to be sure."

"Of course." A concerned look came over Ursa's face at the sudden note of poorly concealed franticness in her nephew's voice. "Anything, what is it?" 

"Please keep Azula and Zuko safe," he implored her. "I know I don't need to tell you that, so please don't be offended. It's only for my peace of mind, I want all the assurance I can possibly get that they'll be safe when I'm not here any more." He paused for a moment. When he continued, it was in hushed, meaningful words. "Don't let their father get too close. He's poison: allow even a little bit of him into them and he will take over completely. Don't let it happen. With my father and I gone for Agni knows how long, you are the only one left to look after them. Keep them close to you, both of them. Please promise me you will."

"Believe me, nephew, that I would do unbidden," Ursa assured him, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice at the mention of Ozai. 

She wished she could not see the monster that had seemingly out of nowhere replaced the man she had loved, but of course that was impossible. Whatever had happened to transform him, she no longer recognized Ozai, but the upside to that was that it would make it easier to fend him off, to cut him out of her life and their children's lives as much as possible. 

"I promise, they are safe with me. Don't you worry about us until you return home, Lu Ten. You don't need any distractions. Yourself, your father, and your duty, that's all you're allowed to worry about until your mission is complete and you are safe back here. Do you understand?"

"I do," Lu Ten said sincerely as he stepped back out of her embrace. "Thank you."

"Lu Ten!" 

With a start, he turned to see that his cousins were done talking to his father (who was now moving on to his aunt), and were now looking at him with identical expectant looks. At the sight, he had to suppress a sigh and pull a smile onto his face. Now came the truly difficult part. 

He got down on one knee to look the pair in the eyes, and put one hand on each of their shoulders. Once again, he was thankful that he'd had the time and foresight to think carefully about the words he would leave them with. 

"Zuko, Azula, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Are you listening?" They nodded vigorously, their gold eyes bright and attentive, hanging on to his every word. "Good, because this is very important. When I'm gone, you two need to stick together, no matter what. Stay close to your mother as well, but stay close to each other above all else. You’re siblings, so you share a special bond. Whatever happens, he’ll always be your brother, and she’ll always be your sister,” he said, inclining his head to both of them in turn. “You'll always have each other. So you have to look after each other, especially while I'm gone. Remember, you're a team: the only way you win is together. I need you to promise me you'll remember that," he urged them. "Promise?"

"Promise!" the two chorused earnestly, the second he asked it of them, and Lu Ten felt his heart melt. He wrapped his arms completely around his cousins’ shoulders and pulled them both close to his chest, holding them as tight as he could. “Stay close and stay safe. Protect your honor, as warriors,” he murmured in their ears as they returned the gesture, clinging to him like their lives depended on it. It took him a second to figure out how to phrase _don’t let your father control you_ in a way that they’d listen to. “...And no matter what anyone tells you, forge your own paths. Your lives are yours, and yours alone, to do with as you believe is right. Never forget anything I’m telling you here. You might not fully understand now how important it is, but in time you will.”

“Th-thanks, Lu Ten,” Zuko said, his breath hitching. “I swear we’ll remember!”

“I’ll never forget,” Azula whispered, and he had to strain to hear her. “Never. I promise.” 

“Good. That’s good.” It had suddenly become hard to talk - what was wrong with his throat? “Thank you both.” Releasing them, Lu Ten stood up and looked down at his cousins through eyes that were suddenly slightly blurring. “I’ll be back here before you know it,” he assured them, and all three of them knew the words were, more or less, empty. 

“While you’re away, we’re gonna train really, really hard!” declared Zuko, struggling to keep his voice from shaking. He looked up at his big cousin with bright, shining eyes. “And when you come back, I’ll be a great firebender, just like you!”

This time, he didn’t have to force his smile as he reached down to ruffle the boy’s hair. “I know you will. No doubt of it.”

“Lu Ten...” Unlike her more passionate brother, Azula was carefully keeping her face a stony mask, trying hard to force down the emotions Lu Ten knew were roiling inside her. Only her eyes, wide and forlorn and quite frankly hurting him inside, betrayed what she was really feeling. “When you get on the ship, and you start to sail out, look back and watch us. We’ve got something we want to show you before you’re gone.”

“Yeah!” Zuko added excitedly. “It’s something we looked up and learned ourselves, because we wanted to give you a special goodbye! Well, not all by ourselves, Mom and Uncle Iroh had to help us out, since it’s kind of a hard f - “

“Shut it!” Azula gave her brother a light push. “Don’t give it away! It’s a surprise, remember?”

“Well, sounds pretty interesting. Don’t worry, I’ll be watching,” Lu Ten assured them. “I’m sure it’s going to be great!”

The sound of a blaring horn from the watch tower above gave him a start, and he heard Iroh’s voice from behind him as the older soldier passed. “It’s time to go, son.”

Lu Ten glanced from his father, ascending the ramp onto their ship, to his cousins, staring up at him and looking as if their hearts were being torn up. He opened his mouth to tell them something, anything else, to leave them with as much as he could, but for a moment he was speechless. “Zuko...Azula...” he started, forcing his body to _work with him, damn it,_ this was _important_ \- “I love you both. Even if you forget everything else, don’t ever forget how much I love you.”

“We love you too.” It was taking everything Azula had to keep from crying now, he could see. “Come home fast.”

Zuko put a comforting arm around his little sister’s shoulders. “You’re going to be amazing over there...but we’ll miss you.”

“It won’t be for long. I'll be back soon.” He couldn’t drag this out any more - his time was up. “Goodbye.” It seemed like it took all the strength in Lu Ten’s body to turn away from his cousins, and make his way up the boarding ramp onto the ship that would take him away from them. He felt his throat constricting and his eyes stinging, and bit his lip to the point of pain. _Control yourself,_ he internally rebuked himself, trying to bring his breathing back to normal. _Pull yourself together! Your men can’t see their prince cry, and your cousins can’t see their hero fall apart. Get it together!_

“Stay strong...” he whispered, unsure whether it was for himself or for his family. “Stay strong...

~0~

As the fleet started to pull out of the harbor, Zuko and Azula exchanged a glance and moved back to the middle of the pier. It was empty save for them (their mother had moved to the end to give them room), so they had plenty of space to give Lu Ten the best possible send-off they could think of. Their cousin had shown them this form once before, as a demonstration of how strong the two of them would one day be as long as they trained diligently, and they had decided that mastering it for him would be the best way to tell him what a great teacher he was to them as well as say goodbye. Looking out at Uncle Iroh’s ship, they spotted Lu Ten leaning on the railing of the stern, watching them expectantly.

It was finally time.

“Ready, Azula?” Zuko muttered, unusual confidence in his tone. 

“Ready.” If she looked hard enough, she could discern her cousin’s expression in the distance. “Let’s go.”

Simultaneously, the siblings dropped into their ready stances, both taking a moment to breathe deeply, in and out, feeling the heat inside them rising as their fire built up, eager for release. Then they leapt forward into the form, thrusting their fists upward and sending two roaring streams of fire pouring from them, flying out past the pier and out over the water.

Watching from the ship, Lu Ten’s eyes went wide and his jaw fell open. A sound of stunned astonishment escaped him as he realized the jets of flame were taking shape as they rose in the air. Long and sinuous, with pointed ends, twisting together almost into one... _Dragons,_ he realized, recognizing the form. _The Dual Ascension...I showed them that! I showed them that form!_

The memory of the day was clear enough: it had been when he’d first started training his cousins together. In order to show them what they could accomplish as a team, Lu Ten had asked his father to do the form with him. The kids’ faces had lit up with amazement as the great fiery dragon burst into being, hissing and roaring as their ‘bodies’ entwined. At their insistence, he’d let them try, but they were only able to shoot thin ribbons of flame from their hands. This...This was a truly amazing improvement. Even in a year of training, progress like this was unbelievable. He’d never seen such strength put behind Zuko’s fire, nor such control in Azula’s. How long, and how hard, had they been working at this? Thanks to his uncle’s constant jabs at him and his own over-worrying mind, he’d had his doubts about just how much good he was doing for his cousins as their sifu...Those were all erased now. 

He had to do something, he thought, right now, to acknowledge this. A show of gratitude to match theirs. But what could possibly - _Ah._ That was it, the perfect answer. Even if he couldn't speak to them any longer, there was no doubt that Azula and Zuko would recognize his final message for what it was, and understand the unspoken words. It had to be done now, quickly, before he was lost from their sight...

Willing his inner fire to rise for him and taking deep breaths to fan it, Lu Ten took a few long steps back and then raced forward again, making a high jump into his stance. Throwing his hands forward, palms first, he sent great waves of fire past the railing and above the ocean, the force of the blast blowing his hair back and heating his face. With forceful movements of his hands, he manipulated the flames until he had three long, thick prongs of fire, winding together in the air, their ends carefully formed into discernible, serpentine faces. Beads of sweat ran down his face, but still Lu Ten smiled. still Lu Ten smiled. Despite their distance, his cousins would surely see this. They’d see, and they’d know just what he meant to tell them.

Back on the pier, both siblings’ faces had split into delighted grins at Lu Ten’s display. “Azula! Do you see that? Do you see it?” Zuko shouted, practically hopping up and down with excitement. 

“Of course I do!” Azula was just as excited as her brother, and this time unable to restrain herself. “You get what this means, right?”

Ursa raised an eyebrow. “It looks as if your cousin is trying to outdo you...” 

“No, no, that’s not it!” Zuko said quickly. “See, whenever Lu Ten teaches us a new move, he always does it for us first, so we’ll know what it looks like done right. That form was the Three-Pronged Dragon, and it’s the same kind of move as the Dual Ascension. What he was trying to say is, when he gets back, we’ll move on to the next level and he’ll teach us to do that too! Maybe he thinks we’re ready to learn some advanced sets!” 

“He thinks we did good.” She couldn’t see him anymore, not even his dark form behind the radiant flames, but Azula’s eyes were still fixed on where Lu Ten was on the ship. “He’s proud of us. And he’s saying we’re going to become even stronger!”

“Well, I’m certain of that.” Ursa laid a gentle hand on each child’s shoulder, smiling warmly down at them. “Your cousin has every reason to be proud of you. I am as well. You both did a wonderful job today.” 

Zuko looked back to thank their mother, but Azula’s attention was all focused on her cousin’s ship. By this point, he had extinguished the fiery dragons, and the vessel itself was now a small black shape fading fast on the horizon. But she knew that Lu Ten was there still, looking back at them for as long as he could, just as she gazed out to him. _Just watch me, Lu Ten,_ she thought, her smile fading into a look of determination. _I won’t let you down. I swear, I’ll show you how strong I can become._

~0~

As soon as his flames disappeared, the smile on Lu Ten’s face faded into a hollow, blank expression.

Normally, he was pleased by swiftly-sailing ships, but it seemed to Lu Ten that this one was moving too fast for his liking. Already, the vast land that was his home was so far away that all he could see was a thick dark line that quickly grew thinner. Nothing was discernible, not the palace, not the city...not his cousins...

He jumped at an unexpected touch on his shoulder, and looked over to see his father beside him. At the concern in the older soldier’s face, Lu Ten automatically assured him, “I’m fine, Dad.”

“I know that,” Iroh said. “However, I can see that longing in your eyes. If you don’t feel like talking at the moment, that’s all right, but it might make you feel better.”

“I...” Lu Ten looked back out into the distance. “It’s just...I can barely see home anymore. And I don’t know when I’m going to see it again...if I ever do see it again.”

Iroh’s hold on his shoulder tightened reassuringly. “You shall see it again. We _will_ return.”

Lu Ten was silent, and did not meet his father’s eyes. Iroh gave a small nod of understanding. “I am going to the bridge to confer with Admiral Teitoku. Your input would be welcome and appreciated, when you feel prepared to give it.” With that, he turned and left for the opposite end of the ship, leaving his son alone with his thoughts.

As Lu Ten watched, what little he could see of the Fire Nation vanished completely into the distance. Home, to him, was gone now. His father’s words echoed in his mind, _You shall see it again._ His eyes were stinging, and he swallowed hard. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want anyone to see, these feelings could not be suppressed...

He bowed his head, as what few tears he couldn’t fight back streamed down his cheeks.

~0~

_Lu Ten,_

_Everyone's talking about the progress you're making in the Earth Kingdom. Lately I don’t hear anything at school except how you took this city or defeated that legion of earthbenders. Zuko was right for once, they don't stand a chance against you! You probably know this already, but people are calling you the Sunstorm. It’s like how people call Uncle Iroh the Dragon of the West, right? Those are good titles to have. Zuko said, “If I were an earthbender I’d turn around and run if I heard that the Sunstorm and the Dragon of the West were coming for me!” Of course_ he _would, though._

_Lu Ten, what’s it like being at war? The girls at school talk about it like it's this great and exciting thing, which I guess it is, but they act as if it's some big game. I don't think they're serious about it like me, even the ones in my bending and martial arts classes, who say they want to fight in the war. Zuko said at dinner one night that it's the same in his school, and he and Dad don't like it either. Mom doesn't think it's too important, though she did say that only the ones who take it seriously will actually get to be soldiers._

_Oh, and Zuko told me something else you wrote in your last letter to him that I hope isn't true: You aren't really dating colony trash, are you? Or a half-breed? Dad overheard and he laughed at you, and I don't think you'd want me to repeat the things he said about you. I sure don't want to. But he had a point: you're a prince of the Fire Nation, you shouldn't be lowering yourself like that. I'll be expecting an explanation in your next letter._

_I know you're really busy with everything you have to do and all, so you probably don’t have that much spare time to do things you don’t need to, but can you write back as soon as you can? I wish you were back home now (and Uncle Iroh too) but your letters are the next best thing. Good luck over there (even if we both know you don't need it)._

_\- Azula_

~0~

_Azula,_

_Oh, don't worry about it, I'm happy to spend time on letters to you guys. Getting to hear from you and rereading the things you send me is the best part of my day, and Dad's too. As for my title, I don't think I could have a better one. It sounds childish to say, but Sunstorm is possibly the coolest name they could have given me. I'll have to thank whoever came up with it. Do you kids know, by any chance?_

_What's it like being at war? Hmm...If I had to sum it up in one word it would be "intense." You and Zuko are absolutely right, war is no game. Fighting the earthbenders is essentially trying to fight off the earth that’s coming alive around you and wants you dead, in the middle of a raging wildfire. Every battle, you know that each second could be your last. One wrong move could easily cost you your life, so you can’t afford to make a single mistake. That’s why I train you the way I do - keeping you at it as long as I have to until you get every move exactly right. It’s to keep you strong and safe when you two are on the battlefield one day, because I know it’s inevitable. You_ have _been keeping up with your training, haven’t you? No slacking off when Sifu Lu Ten’s away, you know!_

_And yes, Azula, every bit of what Zuko told you about my choice of partner is true. Listen here, I don’t want you to be calling colonials “colony trash.” Did you hear that from your father? Just because she's half Fire Nation and half Earth Kingdom doesn't make her inferior at all, so get that right out of your head. To be completely honest, Jun is worth fifty of any of those girls that fawn over me in the Caldera. She's amazingly strong and skilled, and she's the kind that you respect even if you don't like._

_When we hired her to help us sniff out the hidden Earth Kingdom strongholds and bases, she got it done faster than any of our best trackers, and she made sure none of them slipped away from us. Jun has this animal called a shirshu, that’s blind but can track down anything by scent. I’d heard of them from some colonials before meeting her, and apparently they’re next to impossible to tame. I really should ask her how she did it the next time I see her. I honestly think you’d like her, Azula, and you could learn from her too. Some of the other soldiers and I were sparring after a mission, and when we invited Jun to join in, she wiped the floor with all of them, and her fight with me ended up as a draw._

_After my duty here is done, I'm thinking of taking her back to the Fire Nation with me. I asked her if she wanted to come, and she said that if I actually manage to storm Ba Sing Se and make it back to her alive, then she'll follow me anywhere. (I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not). I'm second in line to the throne and my father's second-in-command to boot, so even if people disagree with us, there's not much anyone can do about it._

_As I'm writing this, we've just gotten through the Patola Mountains. I'd have liked to head up to the top and take a look at the ruins of the Air Temple, but at the pace we're going we don't have time to go sightseeing. Between you and me, sometimes I really, truly wish we hadn't killed all the airbenders. It feels like such a huge loss to have an entire culture wiped out from the world forever. You wouldn’t believe how amazing it is over here, Azula, it’s so different from the Fire Nation. The Earth Kingdomers are our enemies, but their culture and lifestyle is so rich and interesting that I’m starting to think we could learn a lot from them._

_We could have learned from the airbenders too, but we left nothing of them. I understand why he did it, but I still think Great-Grandfather Sozin threw away the biggest opportunity in history by killing them all. Well, we can learn from our mistakes, can’t we? When we take control of the Earth Kingdom, we’re going to help its people. You know, I think too many Fire Nationals are forgetting that that, and not becoming all-powerful, is the purpose of this war. Azula, you and your brother will help me remind them when I’m Fire Lord, right? Oh...Look at this letter, Zula, I’m getting so long-winded! I really am my father’s son, aren’t I? I hope this reaches you soon, and I’m looking forward to my next letters from you and Zuko. With Agni’s blessing, Dad and I will be back home with you guys before you know it._

_\- Your cousin, Lu Ten_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY HERE IS THIS GODFORSAKEN CHAPTER I’M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT
> 
> Decided to split this one in half, too, so it wouldn’t be too long and so there would be less of a wait for you guys. I promise chapter four will be up within a month. I know I originally said that it would be three chapters, but now it’s ended up getting even longer than I expected and it’ll most likely end up being five by the time it’s finished. For some reason the battle was REALLY hard to write. Action scenes are the bane of my existence, and this is the first time I’ve written a death scene from the dying person’s point of view.

~0~

Lu Ten knelt on the floor of his tent, and after checking to make sure every part of his armor was fastened securely, he pulled his mane of black hair into a thick topknot, raising his head to look at himself in the small mirror propped up against his bedroll, now that it was visible in the dimness of the minutes just before dawn. _How I’ve changed, in just two years._

If he had been a boy when he left the Fire Nation, then he was certainly a man now. His short, choppy hair had grown out long and glossy, he stood a good couple inches taller, and he now bore a cross-shaped scar (the result of two separate battle wounds, the first dealt by chance and the second by a man who had, for whatever reason, decided to complete the X shape) on his jaw. He had long since earned his place as colonel and as his father’s right hand, and the scarlet tracing on his black royal armor that came with it. 

Over the past few months, the reality of war and battle, of struggling for his life and guarding the lives of his comrades, had taught him more than a lifetime of schooling and tame training ever could have. Now, he finally understood what all the other soldiers - from the younger ones in their first tour of duty, to the old retired veterans his father was friends with - meant when they said they wouldn’t forget a second of their time on the battlefield, even if they tried. These memories he’d attained over the past years were burned into his mind, for better or worse.

His eyes flicked to the ink portrait placed next to the mirror, comparing his reflection to the image of the black-haired woman with hawk’s eyes and a knowing smile. _I get more and more like you every day, Dad says,_ he thought. _I think he’s right. You know, I’ve seen a lot by now. I’ve felt the earth rise up to strike me, but I’ve also felt the woman I love kiss me. I’ve watched many of my comrades die, but I’ve saved the lives of more. I’ve been all over the Earth Kingdom with Dad just like you were, and it’s so amazing that I want to take everything in, even as we’re fighting its people. When the war’s done, there can finally be peace, and the other nations can learn about us as we learn about them. And I’ll have lots of stories to tell my kids when I have them, like you did for me._

Lu Ten straightened up, looking fondly down at Kei Rin’s face. _I’ve got to go now, Mom. We’re about to break through the walls. You know, the only downside is that you aren’t doing this with Dad and I. But I know you can see us, wherever you are. And I know I don’t have to ask if you’re proud._

The first pale rays of the sun were making themselves known through the gold fabric of his tent, calling him out with the dawn. He turned and pushed open the flap, and smiled at the sight that greeted him. Though the natural world around them was just starting to shake off sleep, under the pink morning sky (only slightly marred by the dark grey clouds he could see starting to roll in) his camp was alive with activity, his soldiers gathering weapons and supplies, double- and triple-checking their armor, feeding and tacking the komodo rhinos, tigerwolves, and eelhounds that were to be ridden to Ba Sing Se today. None were idle, all were wide awake and ready to go. 

Lu Ten could practically feel the buzz of anticipation and incorruptible confidence in the air, emanating from every one of his troops. They knew, just as he did, that they were so close to unimaginable glory and victory and progress for their nation that they could practically taste it. His smile broadened at the reminder, and he set off across the camp to tend to the prized tigerwolf that would be carrying him to said victory in less than an hour. As he went, he was greeted from all sides by his troops; he didn’t think he would ever cease to be pleasantly surprised and delighted to hear in their voices and see in their faces the adoration and respect they had for their colonel and prince.

“Colonel Lu Ten, good morning!”

“Are you doing all right today, Colonel?”

“Ready to lead us through the walls?”

“Thanks to you and General Iroh, they’ll be calling us heroes back home!”

Even his tigerwolf Hakkai, who had a reputation for being a finicky and irascible animal, was delighted to see him. The moment he laid eyes on his master, he quickly stood up from where he’d been lying - knocking over a keeper who was trying to fill his water trough - and gave a welcoming bark, his long tail waving in the air. “Nice to see you too,” Lu Ten laughed, and bent down to help the man up. “Sorry about that. I’ve been trying to train him to be nice to people who aren’t me, but I don’t think he quite gets it.”

“It’s okay, Colonel,” the keeper assured him. “At least there’s _somebody_ the old guy likes. Though I do wish he’d quit throwing me on my tail end every time I try to give him something.”

“So do I. I’ll take care of him for now, don’t worry about it.”

The man bowed quickly, thanking him, and went off to tend to the rest of the pack. Lu Ten picked up the large bucket he’d left for him to use and filled the trough, while Hakkai alternated between nuzzling his beloved master’s shoulder and trying to lick at the stream of water. “You know, you really have to quit being such a bully to the people who are trying to take care of you,” Lu Ten chided the tigerwolf. “Are you aware that you need this stuff to live?”

“Colonel!” two excited voices called from behind him, and he turned to see the familiar faces of the two young soldiers he’d become closest to over the course of the campaign. 

“Gisei, Nageki, good morning!” he greeted them, and as always Sergeant Gisei Seigi blushed and Corporal Nageki Noha smirked at being addressed so informally and amiably by their superior officer. 

“General Iroh sent us to come and find you, sir,” Gisei informed him, his eyes continually flicking downward and to the side as he talked. If it wouldn’t embarrass the boy, Lu Ten would laugh: it’d been almost two years and he was still nervous about talking to the warrior he idolized, even if they had become good friends. The fact that he was also the second prince probably didn’t help, either. “He says you’re to join him and the other generals just as soon as you’re ready to go. We’re about to leave for the city.”

“Is that so? Well, in that case, I’ll be there as soon as Hakkai and I are all ready. Shouldn’t be more than ten minutes.”

“Yes, sir,” said Nageki. He glanced up at the sky, which was no longer pink and had instead taken on a reddish glow, illuminating the clouds. “Though I wonder if we might have more problems than we’re expecting...Red sky, take warning, bloodshed by morning, or whatever those guys in the navy say.”

“Nageki! Don’t say those things!” exclaimed a startled Gisei. “Th-those are just superstitions, they don’t mean anything! Everything’s going to go great today, that’s what everyone’s saying! Right, Colonel?”

“Exactly,” Lu Ten assured the boys. “If everything goes according to plan, we’ll all be back home within the month. The three of us aren’t expected to stay for the occupation once we take the city, just get the troops who are firmly instated.”

“Right! And then we go home and get celebrated by our towns for bringing Ba Sing Se to its collective knees!” Nageki, fully and easily reassured, leaned over and threw his arm around Gisei’s shoulders, sporting an ear-to-ear grin. “It might be a little hard for the colonel, what with him going back to the palace and all, but you’ll keep in touch with me when we do get back, won’t you, Gisei? You’re only one island away.”

Gisei gave a small but flattered smile. “Sure I will, if you want to! We didn’t go through four months of boot camp and then two years on campaign together just to never talk again after everything’s finished, after all. That wouldn’t make much sense.”

“And don’t think I’d forget about my friends just because I’m a prince,” Lu Ten chimed in as he buckled Hakkai’s saddle and slipped on his reins. “True, I’ll be a bit too busy to come and visit you guys, but I’ll send you letters and gifts from the Caldera. I’m sure I’ll be able to do that much at least.” With his mount fully tacked, the prince hefted himself on and lifted his hand in a half-wave to the boys still on the ground. “I’ll meet back up with you when we move out. Be sure you’re all ready!” 

Gisei and Nageki assured him that of course they would, and Lu Ten gave Hakkai a quick squeeze to the flanks and set off for his father’s tent, where he and the other generals would be convening about now. It wouldn’t do for an esteemed colonel to be late, let alone one of the princes, and all matters of etiquette aside, Lu Ten was as eager to get going already as any of the other soldiers were. Two years was too long to be stuck in the same place and making progress at what was, admittedly, a maggot-slug’s pace. The sooner he and his troops finished this siege in one powerful, decisive blow, the sooner all of them would be safely back home with their families. 

As always, the faces of his aunt, Jun, and his cousins flashed in his mind, instantly redoubling his energy and drive to fight. _Soon, everyone,_ he thought, letting a smile play at his lips. _Soon I’ll be home, I’ll have my new wife with me, and it won’t just be like it was before, it’ll be even better._ The less welcome image of his uncle floating into his mind erased the smile, and his brow furrowed. _I’d_ better _be home soon, at least. No telling what that snake’s gotten up to without Dad and I around to keep an eye on him._

~0~

_He was quite certain that nobody was following him, but that still did not stop him from glancing over his shoulder as surreptitiously as he could as he descended yet another flight of stairs into the depths of the Dragonbone Catacombs. How fitting it was, he reflected, that he would orchestrate the death of two more useless princes in the place where the bones of hundreds of others laid, most of their insignificant names and lives forgotten by the world._

_The concept that near none of these royals had done anything of real worth, that would leave a lasting mark, was unbelievable to Ozai, and not in a good way. Could the royal family of the Fire Nation truly be so weak and forgettable? Oh, of course there had to be the occasional white koala-sheep like Zuko, but so many of their blood? Pathetic. Such reflections only added fuel to his desire to rise above them all, to do things that none of his ancestors could have, to have his name remembered beyond even that of his grandfather’s.  
The actions he was taking now were just one more step in furthering that goal, that he was so tantalizingly_ close _to._

_He made a right, then another, then a left down a short flight of stairs, at the bottom of which was a door that looked, at first glance, no different than any of the others. There were a few advantages to being largely ignored by his father and brother and their ilk, one of them being that as a boy he had been able to explore the myriad passages, hideaways, and other secret places that the royal palace had to offer. And now, as an adult, he knew exactly where to go for a fairly unsavoury meeting that he would rather nobody knew about. This was one of the few doors with a lock that could not be opened by conventional means if the occupants did not want them getting in and knew how to correctly work the mechanism. Ozai gave one quick knock, and heard someone shuffling behind the door and then fire being shot towards the door. It streamed into the dragon mouth carved into the doorknob in lieu of a keyhole, and the lock clicked open. When the flames fizzled out, Ozai pushed open the door with a smile._

_"Gentlemen," he said cordially. “I thank you for coming at such short notice.”_

_From the table at the back of the small circular room, Colonel Mongke and Vachir of the Rough Rhinos grinned back at him. “To answer your invitation, my prince, it was no problem at all,” Mongke assured him, standing up and folding his hands respectfully. "You wish us to move forward with the mission, correct?"_

_"As soon as you leave the palace," he confirmed. "Prince Lu Ten is your target. Kill Iroh as well if you get the opportunity, by all means, but Lu Ten is not to leave the battlefields of Ba Sing Se alive. Am I understood?"_

_"Very clearly. We will not fail you."_

_"Here." Ozai reached into the pocket of his robe and offered Mongke a silk drawstring bag that jingled with gold. "Here's for your pains, and for your silence. This is never to get out."_

_Mongke accepted the bag and gave it a small, experimental toss in the air. Finding it pleasingly heavy, he smiled. "Rest assured, my prince, this will stay our little secret."_

_"Excellent," Ozai said, his voice soft and sibilant as a snake's hiss. "And just to ensure your success, I brought you this as well." He took out another, smaller packet, and tossed it to Vachir, who caught it easily. When he opened it and peered inside, his eyes widened in surprise._

_"Prince Ozai, is this what I think it is?"_

_"Guówáng wànsui," Ozai boasted. "The kingslayer's best friend. You now possess the most perfect poison in the Fire Nation, courtesy of the Yuudoku clan. If your weapons don’t quite get the job done, then use this to finish the brat off for certain.”_

_“The Yuudoku...the assassin family?” Even Mongke looked shocked. “How did you get this? They don’t just give away their prized creation, even to royalty.”_

_"Indeed they don't. My wife guards it as jealously as the rest of her clan does. It took me weeks to procure this tiny sample without her noticing." In fact, he wasn't entirely certain that Ursa_ hadn't _realized that a portion of her poison was gone, and that she didn't already suspect her husband as the culprit. But it didn’t matter. She could guess as accurately at the truth as she liked, but she’d never find proof. He had planned this assassination for over two years, and he would not risk exposure just as the plot was coming to fruition. Caution and concealment were of the utmost importance._

_“She’s not in on it, then?” Vachir asked._

_“No,” Ozai said curtly, the reminder that his wife was not and never would again be on his side stinging. For the life of him, he could not understand her. Couldn’t she see that it was in his power to become Fire Lord, a greater ruler than his father or brother or nephew could ever hope to be, and to make her his Fire Lady? Didn’t she know that such valuable things could never come easily, that it was going to take a few small sacrifices to clear his path to glory? When he had first met Ursa, he had not taken her for a coward, but that, regrettably, was what she had proven to be. Such an embarrassment to her strong and fearless clan. Though, at times like this he had to remember that she had not only the blood of the Yuudoku assassins but also the blood of the spineless Avatar Roku running through her veins. Clearly one had canceled out the other, and it was not the one he wanted canceled out._

_Though he considered it a serious and vexing problem, Vachir apparently found it funny. “Shut down by your frigid bitch of a wife,” he laughed. “How troublesome.”_

_“Silence,” Ozai growled, narrowing his eyes at the archer. “Don’t you dare insult what’s mine.”_

_“Hmph. At least you found it and you’ll be able to use it before she does. She might have only had it because those Yuudoku always have something on hand, but it’s called the_ kingslayer’s _friend for a reason,” Vachir pointed out._

_“You think I didn’t think of that?” snapped Ozai. “Ever since I found it, I’ve kept an antidote on my person at all times. If she wants to get rid of me, she’ll have to find a smarter way to go about it. However, there’s no chance that my brother and nephew are so well prepared. I doubt you two will have any trouble.”_

_Mongke smirked. “A job like this is child’s play for the likes of us. I swear on my life we will not fail you, my prince.”_

_“Excellent,” Ozai said, irritation fading as he eased back into vindictive satisfaction. “You have done well to curry favor with your future Fire Lord early.”_

_“So you’re going to off old man Azulon in the meantime?” inquired Vachir, wholly nonplussed about the idea._

_“I will give it time. As you implied, the current Fire Lord is just about on his last legs, so I might not even need to take matters into my own hands. If I do, well...he is no less susceptible to guówáng wànsui than Lu Ten is. And if you succeed in your job, then I will surely be waiting to take the crown for my own when Azulon breathes his last.”_

_Both soldiers took that as their cue to leave and begin their own journey to Ba Sing Se, and they stood up to give a simultaneous parting bow. “We look forward to that day, Crown Prince Ozai.”_

~0~

Crown prince, Mongke had called him before they had left. That had been three months ago, but even now Ozai felt a strong sense of gratification every time he remembered it. By this time his assassins would be reaching Ba Sing Se. He ran a finger down the crude charcoal picture of Lu Ten he held in his hand, which depicted the young prince grinning happily as he entered a firebending form. Azula would no doubt be wondering where her drawing had disappeared to, but she would soon have more important things occupying her mind. Her father would make certain of it. 

He brought a small flame forth from his palm, and the thin paper quickly caught. As the image of his nephew was eaten up in seconds by the hungry fire, leaving only grey ash in his hand, a smile stretched across Ozai’s face. 

_Soon, they will call me Fire Lord._

~0~

“Hey, Colonel, did Gisei tell you what his little sister wrote to him yet?” Nageki asked, completely changing the subject for the third time in a half hour. “It’s actually really cool.”

“No, not yet.” In between the boys (who were mounted on much smaller tigerwolves than Hakkai), Lu Ten turned to the right to address Gisei. “Which little sister was this again?” he asked, remembering that the young soldier was the eldest child of a large family. 

“Yari, the ten-year-old,” Gisei said, digging through the equipment packs on his belt for something. “In the family’s last letter, she told me that when she got older, she wanted to be a strong soldier, just like me. Imagine, there’s people like you to look up to, but my sister chooses _me_ to be her role model!” Finally finding what he’d been looking for, he drew out an ink portrait of a middle-aged man and woman standing behind four children, two boys and two girls, all preteens of varying ages. “That’s her here on the left. And then there’s my brother Ken, and my other brother Ono, and my other sister Mori. Wait...Have I told you their names already?”

Lu Ten chuckled. “You have, but don’t worry about it. I like that you get so excited talking about your siblings; it’s obvious you really love them.”

The younger boy smiled. “Yeah, I really do. I can’t wait to get back home to them. Yari wrote that as soon as she turns fourteen, she wants to enlist in the army and come to fight alongside me, and that the other three are thinking pretty much the same thing.”

Nageki snorted. “At the rate we’re going, we’ll have ended this war before her next birthday. I hope she won’t be too disappointed.”

“She sounds like my little cousins, actually,” Lu Ten said, recalling the letters they’d sent him. “Zuko wrote me that as soon as he turns fourteen, he wants to become a soldier as great as me, and so does Azula. I’ve trained them myself, so I know that they’re good firebenders. But when I left, they were just eight and six years old...And even now, they’re just kids. It’s difficult to imagine them grown up, joining the army, and fighting on the battlefield instead of the training grounds.”

“My mom said pretty much the same thing when I told her I wanted to enlist,” Nageki remarked. “She was worried about what would happen to me, especially since she’s always thought that fourteen is too young for the minimum enlistment age. But I _told_ her she didn’t have to worry; look at where Gisei and I are now! Only sixteen and about to take down the biggest city in the Earth Kingdom!”

“My parents were really happy when I told them I was going to enlist. They practically pushed me out the door on my fourteenth birthday,” Gisei remarked, pocketing his picture again. “They want all their kids to become famous warriors. It’s a great honor, after all. And speaking of that...We’re going to reach the city soon, so I should probably say this now. Even if we’ve been lucky and gotten by okay up until now, I still might not get another chance.” Gisei straightened his back, took a deep steadying breath, and looked Lu Ten directly in the eyes. Lu Ten wouldn’t be surprised if he was willing himself not to blush again. “Colonel, on behalf of all the soldiers under your command, if we don’t make it back from the battle today, we want you to know that we believe it is the highest honor to fight by the side of a warrior like you. You are truly great, my prince.” 

Lu Ten smiled at the deep admiration and sincerity in the younger soldier’s eyes and voice. He wondered if the others had designated him to be the one to pass along the sentiment, or if Gisei had volunteered. “If I can, I’ll tell everyone ‘thank you.’ And to be completely honest, the privilege of having comrades like you is _my_ highest honor. When this is over, we’ll celebrate our victory together.” 

Just then, a call came from the nearby head of the army, and Lu Ten recognized the voice as one of his father’s lieutenants. “Colonel! We’ve reached the city, and General Iroh requests that you be by his side.”

“Then I will be there,” Lu Ten called back. Bidding Gisei and Nageki farewell for the moment, he gave Hakkai’s flanks another squeeze and rode up to the head of the army, slowing down once he came up on the right side of his father, who for reasons Lu Ten had never understood favored riding a komodo rhino over a tigerwolf. 

Iroh smiled as his son neared. “Take a good, long look at it, Lu Ten,” he suggested, gesturing to the city that was coming into full view. “This may be the last time you see Ba Sing Se.”

“I have no doubt of it,” Lu Ten agreed, privately wishing that the day were sunny instead of grey and stormy, so he would be able to view it in full brightness and glory.

Pulling Hakkai to a stop alongside his father at the crest of the hill that would take them down onto that plain, Lu Ten looked at the city with the same high regard he had had the first time he had laid eyes on it at the beginning of their campaign. He would always love the Caldera far more, but he could not deny that the Earth Kingdom capital was great and beautiful in its own way. Once they won, he would personally ensure that the battle damages were fully repaired and the occupied city was well cared for. Just because it was Earth Kingdom, he reasoned, did not mean that the Fire Nation should just let what could be a great jewel of their empire go to waste. For a city that had been relentlessly bombarded by arguably the strongest troops in the Fire Nation for close to two years straight, Ba Sing Se, battered as it was, still stood proud and defiant in the middle of the flat earthen plain, as did the scores of green-armored soldiers ready and waiting for them at the gates, and that was surely something to be admired.

The lieutenant that had called him forward did not seem to share his sentiments. “I would bet that every last earth peasant is mocking us behind those walls,” he declared with a grin, oblivious to the young prince glaring at him. “We’ll see how high and mighty they feel when their city is burning down around them.”

“We shall see, Lieutenant Kotai,” Iroh said neutrally, not looking at him. “I’ve sent one final hawk to their generals requesting a peaceful and unconditional surrender, and as I’ve told you before, we must make a point of not moving to attack until we receive the answer. Even as the aggressors in this battle, it is important that we conduct ourselves honorably, and continue to demonstrate that we can be perfectly reasonable.” 

“You were saying, Dad?” Lu Ten pointed out the small dark shape sailing through the open air towards them. “Takamaru has excellent timing, it seems.”

Iroh lifted his arm for the hawk to glide down and land on, and then took the reply scroll out of its canister and unrolled it. He grimaced as he read it. “Our terms have been refused yet again. It would seem we have no choice. Brace yourselves, soldiers.” As Lu Ten and the others surrounding him moved to give him room, he tugged on his rhino’s reins and positioned himself to speak to the crimson-armored mass of troops that stood at attention before him. “Warriors of the Fire Nation! This day, with Agni’s blessing to give us strength, we end this siege!” he shouted, and the cries of assent of thousands answered him.

At a nod from his father, Lu Ten turned to face the city. Though his back was to his army, his voice still carried as far as his father’s did. “For the honor of the Fire Nation, for the good of the world...” He reached up and pulled Jianhuren out of its sheath, emphatically pointing the blades at the city, and bellowed at the top of his lungs, “FORWAAAARD!”

With that, both Lu Ten and Iroh snapped the reins of their mounts, and charged down the slope at full speed, with their hundreds upon hundreds of soldiers surging down after them, the sounds of their boots and mounts’ heavy feet on the earth comparable to the thunder rumbling ever louder above them. Across the field, Lu Ten could see the army of Ba Sing Se stampeding forward with equal fervor, quickly closing the distance between them. He gripped Hakkai’s reins tighter, urging the great wolf on faster. His eyes flicked from one Earth Kingdom face to the next, and the next, and the next, trying to determine which one posed the most immediate threat, which one he should take out first. 

By chance, they landed on a man Lu Ten had seen only in pictures, but whose face he’d memorized at the age of eight and never forgotten, and his eyes widened and his stomach plunged in momentary horror as his old nightmares of his mother being impaled on a spike of rock (damn it, why had his young self been so curious? There was a _reason_ his father had tried to keep him from seeing the reports) surged back to the front of his mind. With them came all the rage and hatred that had built up in him over thirteen years, centered on this man and the grudge he bore against him, and he felt it in his chest, fueling his inner fire into a roaring inferno. 

Lu Ten gave Hakkai a sharp kick, rushing straight at the enemy general whose life he had sworn to claim himself. As the storm that had been brewing since that night finally broke over them - didn’t the spirits have just the best timing, part of him mused - he got the man’s attention with what he had intended to be a shout but came out as more of a howl of his name: 

_“SHAN HOW!”_

General How turned just in time to dodge the barrage of fireballs that came at him, and looked up to see the second Fire Prince leaping off his tigerwolf (which, following his training as a war beast, immediately ran off to maul everyone with green armor and Earth Kingdom scent) and pointing his dao swords at him challengingly, fury burning in his gold eyes. 

“That’s a fierce look in your eyes, boy. Just like in Princess Kei Rin’s,” the general informed him, and Lu Ten gritted his teeth. This man didn’t deserve to even speak his mother’s name, and here he was callously dismissing the rank she’d strived so hard to achieve? “I assume that’s why you’ve come to face me personally?” 

“You killed my mother, bastard,” Lu Ten growled. “It’s my duty, as her only son, to take vengeance on her murderer.”

How’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re some kind of great avenging hero? You and your parents are no different than any other Fire Nation warmonger. By killing Kei Rin, I did what I had to do for my country.”

“Is that so?” Lu Ten hissed, as the fire within him blazed higher and stronger, pushing for release. “Then allow me to do what I have to do for mine!”

On the last word, Lu Ten lunged forward, his swords wreathed in fire. How quickly pulled up an earth wall, but the prince only smirked. The dragon-claw dao swords sliced through the barrier as if it were mere gossamer: even the sturdiest stone was no match for Jianhuren. _And you,_ Lu Ten thought as he swung fiercely at How, _are no match for_ me!

~0~

No matter how important the mission was, Mongke reflected bitterly as he and Vachir made their way off their small boat and onto solid earth, from now on if it required him to fight through the Serpent’s Pass (especially multiple times, as it had turned out on this one), it would cost the client double. 

_“Triple,”_ Vachir insisted when he voiced this opinion to his comrade. “I’m not risking being bitten in half by that damn sea worm for anything less. Now are you sure we’ll have a good vantage point from here?”

“Absolutely,” Mongke assured the archer, pointing at his chosen position. “I scouted this place out before. Even if the storm gets worse, if we shoot from up in that tree, we’ll have a clear line of sight and be hidden from view. It isn’t as if a Yu Yan archer has problems shooting in the rain, or as if anyone in on the battlefield will have enough free time to spot us when there’s flying rocks and whatnot everywhere demanding their attention.”

Vachir smirked as they pulled themselves up into the highest branches that would support their weights, looking down on the chaotic battlefield below them. “I bet I won’t even need the poison. That brat prince,” he declared as he took the first arrow from his quiver, “will have no idea what hit him!”

~0~

_Damn,_ Lu Ten internally hissed, ducking yet another earthen projectile that had nearly taken his head off and looking wildly around. _Where the hell did he go?!_

In just a few minutes of fighting, he had come close - _so close!_ \- to finally killing the man who had taken his mother from him, and then one of the small, numerous trios of earthbenders had worked together to throw up a massive wall between him and How, as soon as they knew they could do it without harming their general, giving the man time to escape the fight he was bound to lose and stealing Lu Ten’s chance at revenge away. Well, it was not the most pressing of concerns right now, his voice of reason chastised him as he sliced a forming stone in two with one sword and the earthbender’s throat with the other in two smooth motions. He was not here solely to take his revenge, but to help his troops and his father bring down the opposing army and capture this city. He would just have to keep his focus on his mission, and hope for another chance later. Besides, even if How managed to live, at least Lu Ten would have the satisfaction of leaving a long, deep sword scar across the man’s torso, a permanent reminder of the prince who had almost bested him. 

With two more fierce swings, Lu Ten cut down another two earthbenders, and sent another wheel of fire curving around towards another group. He took pleasure in seeing that the driving rain pummeling them all and steadily turning the ground to muck was doing nothing to weaken the fire of his troops. _That’s just how strong my comrades are!_ he thought proudly. _Still, I hope we can end this quickly._

Vaguely, he could feel the burn of exhaustion trying to make itself known in his muscles, and every breath he pulled in and let out made his lungs ache and his dry throat smart. And it wasn’t as if he was wholly unscathed: blood soaked into the clothes underneath his armor from more well-placed cuts than he’d prefer to have, and a blow from an ungodly heavy rock slab that he hadn’t managed to dodge or destroy in time was throbbing like hell. His armor wasn’t in much better shape, either. But it was nothing he hadn’t powered through before and he wouldn’t - _couldn’t_ \- let it slow him down now. _Mom wouldn’t give up. Dad’s not giving up. Neither will I!_

Just as he sent out another stream of fire, sending more soldiers jumping out of the way, something slammed into him just below his right shoulder blade, making him cry out despite himself. For just a second, Lu Ten thought he’d been hit by another rock, but then a different sort of pain flared, as if he’d been stabbed, and he realized that an arrow had just lodged itself in his back. _What?! When did the enemy start using archers?_ he thought, forcing himself to keep going even as it began to spread, to intensify. _Well, it’s not like I haven’t been through this kind of thing before!_

Arrow punctures, slash wounds, bone bruises; it was all a more than fair price to pay if he won here today. There was nothing, he reminded himself, nothing he couldn’t endure -

“Ah!” Another pierce - another arrow hit home, right through his armor and on the left side of his back this time. _Ugh...Relax, it’s not too deep...Damn..._ Every little movement sent a bolt of pain through his body, and he felt as if he was going to be sick. It took him a moment to realize that he’d let an earthbender get much too close to him, and hastily blasted a fireball into his chest. _Damn it...I can’t let this stop me!_

“Colonel!” called a worried voice from close behind him. He couldn’t take enough attention off his surroundings to turn and look, but he recognized the voice as Nageki’s. “Colonel, you really look like you’re about to collapse! I’ll cover you if you want to withdraw! We’re closer than ever to breaking through the first wall, it’ll be fine if you do!”

Lu Ten had to admit, the thought was tempting. But that was not an option for him. “Not yet! I won’t leave my soldiers over something so minor, and we’ve come too far for me to back out now!”

~0~

“What’s wrong with you?!” Mongke snapped at his partner, resisting the urge to smack the archer in the back of the head. “Those arrows barely went in! Are you a Yu Yan archer or not?”

“What’s wrong with _me?_ What’s wrong with _him,_ is what you should be asking!” retorted Vachir. “That guy looks like a walking corpse! Why isn’t he dead yet?” 

“The warriors of the royal family _are_ rumored to be ridiculously powerful, descended from dragons, blessed by Agni, all that garbage...” Mongke muttered to himself, his eyes fixed on Prince Lu Ten. The young man was soaking wet and spattered with mud, bleeding all over the place, seemed to be favoring one side, and had two arrows sticking out of his back. But even so, he doggedly continued to fight, cutting down earthbenders left and right with blades and flame, making his way towards the wall, presumably to aid the siege unit and his father. Thus far, nothing had been enough to kill the fierce young prince. “But he is as human as anyone else, royalty or not.” 

Mongke pulled the little packet that Prince Ozai had given him out of his bag and opened it, looking at the blue-black substance with the consistency of sugar inside. This little concoction, if the stories he’d heard were correct, was the result of years upon years of experimentation by the Yuudoku assassins, using those they were ordered to kill or otherwise “make disappear” as test subjects to determine which poisons worked best when combined, in order to create the most effective and undetectable poison possible. He could understand why Azulon had arranged to have one of their daughters married into the royal family: it was best to have the enigmatic clan firmly on their side rather than leave them a potentially dangerous wild card. 

“Here,” he said, offering the packet to Vachir. “Coat your arrowheads with the _guówáng wànsui_ and get in one more good hit. As soon as this works its way through his system, he’ll be finished and we’ll be on our way.”

Vachir chuckled as he took the poison onto his fingertips and spread a generous amount onto his next arrowhead. “Once it’s in, it’ll dissolve into his bloodstream and leave no trace on the arrow, right? And it’s not like anyone will bother looking: with the state he’s in, poison is that last thing they’ll suspect of killing him. Pity he insists on fighting so hard, eh?” He nocked the arrow and pulled the string back. “Now this time I mean it - I swear on my pride as a Yu Yan archer, he’ll die with this shot!” 

~0~

He could be of the most use to his comrades, Lu Ten had decided, fighting alongside the rest of the soldiers who protected the siege unit. Each time he could spare a split-second glance over at their handiwork, he saw the web of cracks and craters grow wider and deeper in the thick grey stone. It wouldn’t be long before it shattered entirely under their relentless barrage.

“Colonel!” Gisei called. Since meeting up again here, the two of them had been fighting side by side, but with the still-pouring rain and overall din of battle all around them, the boy still had to shout despite their proximity. “Colonel, how much longer do you think it’ll take them to break the wall? I don’t...I don’t know how much more of this we can take!”

“Hang in there, Gisei! You can make it!” Lu Ten shouted back, internally worrying about how true that really was. Gisei had been struggling just as fiercely as he himself had, and his wounds weren’t exactly minor. He’d known the younger boy long enough to know that while he had loyalty and determination to spare, he lacked the physical stamina to keep up with it. “Soon that wall will go down and - “

Before the words were even out of his mouth, an immense crash of falling stone came from behind them, and immediately after that the loudest simultaneous yell of jubilation he had ever heard rose in the air from the Fire Nation troops, drowning out the gasps of shock and horror from the Earth Kingdom soldiers. Lu Ten didn’t need to glance back to know for certain what had happened. “Speak of the demon! Let’s go, Gisei!” Lu Ten called, a smile unfurling on his face as he obeyed the generals’ near-screamed orders to advance through the newly made hole in the wall. This step towards their final victory had been almost two years coming, and it seemed to Lu Ten that it put some extra speed in his sprint as he hastened forward -

“Agh!” _What the hell, again?!_ Another arrow had shot through the backplate of his armor and embedded itself in him. And this one had been better than the other two: it was deep in his flesh, right up to the shaft. Never mind, never mind, he could still keep going. Even if this didn’t feel quite the same as any other injury on his body...Even if his heart was suddenly pounding doubly hard and fast while his breathing seemed to be slowing down...

“Colonel!” Gisei cried out, alarmed. “Colonel, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” he heard himself replying. He was fine, he _was._ “Focus on yourself!”

“But, Colonel, you look like - !”

“That’s an order, Gisei! Didn’t I teach you not to get distracted in battle?” He heard no more from his friend, so he assumed that the boy had obeyed his superior. And he really ought to be taking his own advice: he couldn’t afford to be held back either. He was stronger than that, and his comrades were depending on him. 

But even as Lu Ten tried to keep on fighting with those thoughts in mind, the world began to slowly tilt around him, faint numbness began to take hold in his hands and legs, and an increasingly insistent voice at the back of his mind tried to tell him that this was something that had never happened to him before and that had to be dealt with immediately. After only a couple minutes, he was forced to accept that he couldn’t keep going any longer. The sooner he retreated and figured out what the hell was going on, the sooner he could return to battle. Sending one more vast wave of flame into the earthbenders closest to him, he turned to try and find the quickest route out of the fray -

And very nearly froze in horror at what he caught sight of through the sheets of rain instead: Gisei in the middle of close combat with three Earth Kingdom soldiers, fighting as ferociously as a cornered pygmy puma but so caught up in trying to contend with so many opponents at once that he didn’t notice a fourth earthbender behind him, raising a boulder as big as he was and about to fire it at the boy’s open back.

_No, it’ll kill him!_ But it won’t kill me! 

The dive he made to put himself between Gisei and the projectile was a move he’d pulled and subsequently recovered from plenty of times before, and he felt no fear as he pushed his friend out of the way and let the boulder slam into his body instead, unable to keep back a shout of pain as he hit the muddy ground hard, his swords dropping beside him. _At least I’m not stuck under the damn thing,_ he thought dazedly, realizing he must have skidded a few feet further than the rock.

“C-Colonel?! _Colonel!”_

Gisei was all right, then, albeit apparently shocked by what the older man had done. If he looked up and focused, Lu Ten could see him taking a defensive stance in front of his superior, shooting blast after blast of fire at the green-armored soldiers coming at them. “Colonel, can you get up?! You need to get out of here - I’ll try to cover you, but I don’t know how much longer I can hold them off myself! And I don’t know where Nageki is - !”

“I...It’s okay...Gisei...” With considerable effort (much more than it normally took for him), Lu Ten tried to force his beaten, unwilling body to rise. His right arm, definitely broken in several places, would not move at all, and his legs burned in protest with each tiny movement. He managed to stand upright, but shakily, like a paper doll. “I can...I can still...” 

Without any warning, the world turned upside down and he felt himself fall to the ground again, his body still and his mind quickly clouding. Even so, he was not so far gone that he couldn’t hear another horrified scream rip from Gisei’s throat:

_"LU TEN!"_

~0~

The cruel, self-satisfied smile of a viper curled Vachir’s lips. “Mission accomplished,” he boasted.

“The throne is as good as Prince Ozai’s now,” said Mongke, smirking. “Let’s get out of here - I’m sure he’ll be very pleased to hear of our success.”

~0~

_Oh...Agni..._

For a moment, all Lu Ten knew was confusion. He stared up into a haze of gray, feeling as if both his eyes and mind were full of fog. He was vaguely aware of being at an unusual angle, and of a dull pain that ached and burned in what felt like his whole torso, while the rest of his body was strangely numb.

_...Agni, what...What happened?_

“Colonel! _Colonel!”_

Oh. There was that voice, a familiar one. Someone was trying to call him. He knew that he really ought to answer, they sounded very worried. If something bad was happening, then he had to be there to help...had to help...but he couldn't move, couldn’t properly breathe, could barely even think; the fog was too thick to find his way through...

~0~

_“Colonel!_ Answer me! Please, answer me!” 

As soon as he had seen Lu Ten’s body tip backwards and collapse to the ground, Gisei had moved faster than he remembered ever moving in his life, not knowing what it was he intended to do but knowing that he had to do _something._ Now he knelt in the dirt beside his fallen friend, trying desperately to get him to respond. There was no fresh blood that he could see, but the whole front of his armor had been crushed in, and there was no way that he hadn’t suffered internal damage. His pulse still sped, but Lu Ten’s eyes were vacant and unfocused, and he didn’t seem to register anything going on around him, let alone Gisei’s frantic voice. But it didn’t matter. He had to keep trying, he had to keep Lu Ten here and make him okay again somehow, because if he didn’t...if he didn’t...

Somehow, over his own yelling and the din of battle, Gisei heard a strangled shout, and when he looked up, his heart dropped. Only a short distance away was General Iroh, still mounted on his komodo rhino, staring, horrified, at the fallen body of his son, and Gisei felt as if someone had filled his insides with ice water. The general had always seemed so strong, so untouchable...To watch the man seemingly shattering in a matter of seconds sent a wave of hopelessness crashing over the young soldier. “G-General!” he cried out. There had to be something he could do. The general always knew what to do. “He’s hurt...Please help him!”

Iroh yanked on the reins of his rhino, starting to turn and move to where they were, but had to stop and duck to avoid being hit by another earthbender’s boulder, narrowly avoiding a blow to the head. When he looked back at his son, he saw that Sergeant Seigi had, apparently automatically, had thrown himself over Lu Ten to protect him from being hit again. That was very good, but...Iroh looked over his shoulder with narrowed eyes. Though to him, the world had seemed to slow down, almost to freeze, in the second he’d laid eyes on his unmoving son, the legion of earthbenders had felt no such thing, and bore down on them with even more ferocity. The sight made Iroh’s stomach churn and his heart pound with anger. Lu Ten had been struck down, and the countless bodies of their fellow soldiers surrounded him, many never to rise again...A red haze began to fill Iroh’s vision. 

Enough was enough. 

“Everyone back! I will finish this myself!” At his command, the Fire Nation soldiers hastily moved back out of range. Iroh snapped the reins sharply, and charged straight at the oncoming enemy. 

For a moment, Gisei’s stomach dropped when he saw General Iroh turn and ride away from them instead of coming to help, but then he saw the flames forming in the older man’s hands and realized just what he intended to do. Still holding his prince’s body in his arms, Gisei could only gawk in stunned amazement as the general leaped off of his mount and into the fray, sending enormous wheels and waves of roaring fire at the earthbenders, all around him as he moved skillfully among their soldiers, too fast and uncontrollable to be caught or struck, striking out at everything that moved. (Gisei saw very clearly why he had ordered the rest of the army to stay away from him). The flames seemed to be pouring from all over his body, engulfing the entire green-armored legion in a vast, furious, unbelievable inferno. 

“I-I wish you could see this right now, Colonel,” he murmured, on the off chance that the older man could hear him. “I think it’s going to be all right...General Iroh might actually be able to finish this battle all on his own. Then he’ll come back to help us, and you’ll be perfectly okay soon...But even so, I can only imagine what he must be feeling right now, to be able to create such powerful fire.”

He remembered one instance from his childhood, when lightning had struck an oil well near his town and created a large and violent fire whirl that ravaged the bushland surrounding his home. Back then, he had thought that he would never again see something so terrifying yet amazing at the same time. How wrong he had been. That fiery whirlwind of years ago had taken only a few minutes to cause unmatched death and destruction, and General Iroh was easily matching its devastating power. In the same time frame, the general had incinerated nearly an entire legion of earthbenders, and sent the scant few that survived running for their lives. 

“Your father is really incredible, you know...” 

“G...Gi...sei...?”

Startled, Gisei looked down to see a faint gleam in Lu Ten’s eyes as he looked up at him. “Colonel! Yes, it’s me, Colonel; don’t worry, we’re going to get you some help soon - “

“G- _Gisei,”_ he tried, more forcefully. He sounded as if it hurt to speak. “Th-there’s something...Not right here, I don’t...My body is...I think there’s - ”

“I know, I know, you’re really hurt right now, but it’ll be okay, we’ll - Oh! General! General Iroh, over here!” he called, seeing Iroh galloping back towards them, leaving an expanse of burned earth and smoking ashes behind him. The earthbenders would likely return, but Gisei highly doubted it would be soon. 

“Sergeant Seigi,” Iroh began, hastily dismounting and kneeling beside his son. “What happened to him?” 

“He...” Gisei felt his throat close up, as Lu Ten’s frantic dive to protect him replayed in his mind. How could he not have noticed the danger he was in? For such carelessness, he should have been the one struck down, not his prince. No one should be hurt because of him, but Lu Ten least of all! “He saw an earthbender about to throw this huge boulder at my back, and...he jumped in front of it to save me. Why...?” He looked down at his friend, pale and bleeding in his arms. “Why would you do that, Colonel? I didn’t ask you to do that, not for me! What were you thinking?! Now you...you’re...”

The corners of Lu Ten’s mouth, still trickling blood, jerked up into a pained smile. “‘S okay, if...my friend’s...okay...”

Gisei’s eyes widened. “Colonel...I, I’m not worth that.”

“Are to me...A-All of you...” With a bit of effort, he turned his head to look at his father. His left hand twitched, as if to reach for him. “Dad...”

Gisei leaned forward, carefully holding the prince out to Iroh, who gently took his son into his arms, letting the young man’s head rest on his shoulder and shielding his face from the rain. “I’m here, son. I’m here,” he said softly. The sergeant could tell he was trying his hardest to keep his voice from breaking, and bit his lip to keep himself together too. “Help is coming. You’re going to be fine. Everything will be all right.”

Lu Ten frowned, struggling to focus on his father’s face, struggling to hold onto consciousness, struggling to keep breathing. “N-No...That’s not...I’m not...” His vision was steadily blurring and his head felt heavy. The pain was dulling and that paralyzing numbness was setting in in its place, all over his body, but he was aware enough to know that that wasn’t a good thing at all. Thinking straight was suddenly a near-impossibility for him, let alone moving. A too-bright whiteness began to edge his vision, growing stronger with each second as he felt himself slipping - too fast, much too fast. _Why...Why is this happening? Is this really it for me?_

“D...Dad,” he managed, his voice barely audible even to his own ears. “I...I don’t...want...” The whiteness completely overtook him, pulling him into silence and oblivion. _No..._

One final time, the faces of his loyal comrades, his kind aunt, his precious lover, his beloved cousins, swam in his hazy mind, and he felt a stab of desperation to find some way to stay and protect them, fearing the uncertain future he would no longer be able to change. His body could no longer keep him in this world, and yet he had never wanted anything more than to stay, stay and keep fighting for the people he loved. 

_Agni...Agni, I’m not ready..._

~0~

Despite having seen plenty of soldiers die in the two years he’d served in the army (far more than he’d ever wanted to), Gisei didn’t realize what had happened at first. For one moment, when silence hung in the air between himself and the general (and, he realized, every other soldier who had realized what was going on and gathered around to see what the trouble was), he wondered why Lu Ten’s eyelids had drooped slightly, and why his prone body seemed to have gone so unnaturally still. He had seen the colonel pass out from battle wounds before, but this seemed different somehow, almost like - 

Finally, horribly, it clicked in the boy’s mind, and a noise of horror escaped him. _No...No way!_ “C-Colonel?” he asked tentatively, half to himself, hoping wildly that he would be heard, his prince’s body would twitch and his golden eyes would flicker back open, and that awful realization would be proven untrue. “Hey...Colonel? Colonel?”

Just beside him, there was the sound of someone roughly shoving through the crowd of soldiers, and an impatient, familiar voice drawing closer: “Out of my way, get out of my way - Gisei? Gisei, was that you? What’s going on, what ha...” Gisei didn’t have to look to realize that Nageki had pushed his way to the front and gotten a full look at their dead friend lying in his father’s lap. His next words were barely audible, choked with pain. “Colonel Lu Ten? How could...How did this happen? Gisei, did you see?”

Gisei was aware of the eyes of what seemed like every soldier in the army on his back, and the thought of what the collective reaction would be once everyone knew why their beloved colonel had died sent a sudden wave of nausea over him. But he forced himself to say the words again: “I was fighting these three earthbenders, all at one time, and...and there was a fourth one behind me I didn’t see, that was going to kill me with a boulder. But Colonel Lu Ten saw, and he...he just...I didn’t even realize until he was already on the ground, he - “

“He did that diving thing of his?” someone finished, incredulous. “But that’s never hurt him this badly before!”

“Y-Yes, he did, and I, I don’t understand this either - “

“Gisei. He did this to protect you?”

The flat, emotionless tone of Nageki’s voice (coming from such a hot-blooded and passionate young soldier) should have set off the first alarm bells in Gisei’s head. But the warning was lost in the sea of emotions roiling in his body. “He did.”

“So this happened because of you, then.”

Gisei flinched, and started to look up at his friend to answer, but before he could do anything a blur of red crashed into him, knocking him to the ground; there was a flash of silver and all at once searing pain was flaring in his face, again and again and again. Just as loud as his howl of agony was the other boy’s enraged yell: _“I’ll kill you!”_

The other soldiers acted quickly, two of them grabbing Nageki’s upper arms and yanking him bodily off of Gisei, who was curled on the ground, staring aghast at the small red-stained knife they’d forced the corporal to drop and at the fat drops of blood that dripped to the ground from the new, burning slashes in his own face. He managed to look up, wide-eyed, at the soldier being pulled away whose face was contorted in fury at him. “N-Nageki?” he whimpered pitifully. 

“Shut up! Don’t look at me like _you’re_ the victim!” Nageki snarled. “Colonel Lu Ten is dead because of you! A failure like you should be branded, so everyone will know how you shame the Fire Nation! They’ll scar, you’ll see, you’ll always see them and you’ll always remember, and you deserve it! You deserve much worse than anything I can give you - “

_“Silence!”_

Gisei and Nageki (along with most of the other soldiers) jumped badly at the sudden shout, and stared incredulously at Iroh, who was glaring not at Gisei but at Nageki. Grief was still clear on his face and in his eyes, but for the moment anger overshadowed it. “You are disgraceful, Corporal Noha. Do you honestly think that this is what my son would have wanted his friends to do? Turn on each other before his body has gone cold?”

“But General, this is all _his_ fault!” Nageki protested, with an almost childlike petulance. “He should be the one who’s - “

“I said silence, Corporal! I will hear no excuses. Your behavior shames my son as much as it shames you. Now leave my sight. And will the rest of you,” he added as Nageki (now too stunned at being rebuked to resists) was led away, looking up and addressing the crowd as a whole, “stop staring and help this boy! Find a medic!”

The two soldiers who answered fastest - “Yes, General! Right away!” - turned and ran to wherever the medics had been stationed, while Lieutenant Kotai bent down with a folded piece of cloth that looked like it had been ripped from someone’s shirt or pants, and told Gisei to press that to the cuts to stop the bleeding instead of his hands. It was thin and ragged, but fairly absorbent, and it would do. 

After a moment, Gisei shifted it slightly so he could look around, if with only one eye - thankfully, despite slicing across the whole of his face, Nageki’s knife had at least missed both of those. The first thing he noticed was the face of the older soldier who had given him the cloth. Kotai’s expression was blank, but his eyes held a carefully restrained shade of the contempt that had burned in Nageki’s. The soldier had helped him, yes, but only grudgingly. One brief glance around confirmed that yes, the faces of the his comrades (the ones who deigned to look at him, anyway), were more or less identical. He shrank back slightly, wondering if they all felt the same as Nageki, and just had better control over their emotions. He looked over to General Iroh, hoping to see something different and regretting the thought immediately when he did.

The man’s anger had melted away as quickly as it had come, and he gazed despondently down at his son’s body. “He was trying so hard not to leave,” he mused. “This pained look on his face...He could not have given in long enough to go in peace.”

Gisei thought he would prefer being stabbed again than to hear these plaintive words. “General Iroh, Nageki was right. This is my fault. I...” The tears he had fought back this whole time, though he tried to stop them, spilled from his eyes, and what wasn’t caught in the cloth mingled with the still-leaking blood and ran down his cheeks to the ground. “I beg your forgiveness,” he sobbed out, uncaring of how pathetic he looked. 

Kotai’s lip curled in disgust. “At least _try_ not to make a spectacle of yourself. Don’t you have more dignity than to cry like a weak child?”

“And why not?!” Gisei burst out heatedly, his last bit of self-control obliterated by the one insult. “Why shouldn’t I cry?! Forgive me, sir, but it’s not right to hold back! The prince...The colonel was my best friend, and my comrade. If a man can’t shed tears when his own comrades are killed, then that man is heartless! To show that I feel something for my brother in arms can’t be weak! This is just one way that I can honor him!” _To make up for what I’ve done._

“Quiet!” snapped Kotai. “Contain yourself, soldier!”

“Enough, Lieutenant. Enough,” said Iroh, his voice all of a sudden dull and weary. Both soldiers looked back at him, and both were startled to see tears streaming silently down his cheeks as well. “Sergeant Seigi is correct. A soldier should never force down his grief.”

“I understand, sir,” Kotai said, regaining composure quickly. “Now if I may ask, what is our next move? Surely by now Ba Sing Se’s army has gotten over their shock, and we do not want to be standing around disorganized when they return to resume the battle.”

“No,” Iroh agreed, adjusting his hold on Lu Ten’s body and slowly rising to his feet. “No, we do not. Which is why this army will be withdrawing from Ba Sing Se and returning to the Fire Nation immediately.”

_“What?!”_ Gisei cried out, shriller than he’d meant to. He wasn’t alone; the other soldiers, equally stunned, were protesting as well, some respectfully and some not as much. 

“I will hear no argument on this point,” Iroh said firmly, his eyes narrowing. “There’s been more than enough blood spilled on this Agni-forsaken killing field, and there will be no more as long as I am in command.”

“But General!” Gisei pleaded. “We _have_ to keep going! We’ve just broken through the first wall, and we’re so close to winning! I don’t think Colonel Lu Ten would have wanted us to give up. Wasn’t conquering this city what he fought for?”

“What we’ve _all_ been fighting for,” Kotai added, “for almost two years? Are we just going to throw all of that away?!”

“If it means that no more families are destroyed by this siege, then yes,” Iroh declared. “Someone retrieve my son’s swords, and someone else send a messenger hawk announcing our surrender to Ba Sing Se’s generals immediately. We are finished here. Now,” he went on, and again glanced down at the body in his arms. “I cannot carry him all the way out of here, I need - Oh.” A small, sad smile curved his lips as he looked just past Gisei. “Of course. You were trained to return to your master when the fighting is over, after all.” 

Before Gisei could look, a mass of black fur was pushing past him, as Hakkai the tigerwolf (looking as exhausted as any of the soldiers, and with about as many wounds) went to inspect the limp form of his master. Puzzled, he nudged Lu Ten’s face with his nose, and whimpered when he did not stir. For a few moments he tried to rouse the young man, growing increasingly distressed when he could not. Finally the realization that he was dead got through the wolf’s head, and he threw back his head to let out a heartrending howl. 

“I know - even you are suffering now, Hakkai,” Iroh said, reaching out to give his furry neck a comforting rub. For once, the wolf didn’t snap at him. “I need you to let me mount you now, and carry your master one final time.” 

Hakkai was still, and allowed Iroh to lift Lu Ten’s body onto his broad back and climb up into the saddle behind him. Apparently having decided that the matter was settled, he held his son’s body steady with one hand and flicked the reins with the other, and rode swiftly off to their base camp without another word to his troops. After a moment of staring after him, still not entirely sure what to make of this, one by one the soldiers began to follow after the general on foot, some looking for their own scattered mounts. Gisei, too shocked to think of moving yet, was not one of them. Even as a few of the pettier soldiers accidentally-on-purpose bumped and jostled him as they passed (probably hoping to surreptitiously knock him into the mud), he stayed kneeling there, staring at the city with his one exposed eye. 

_This wasn’t how things were supposed to go,_ he internally protested. He remembered all the nights that he and Nageki and Lu Ten had sat around the campfire, fantasizing excitedly about what their long-awaited victory would be like. How many times had he envisioned the three of them reaching the Earth King’s palace, and Lu Ten sitting nobly on the great golden throne to claim it for himself, looking every inch the Fire Lord he was destined to be? _And now...And now..._

A light hand on his shoulder made him jump, and he looked up to see a woman not much older than him: one of the combat medics that had been called for him. “Sergeant Gisei Seigi?” she asked, taking something out of her bag. He nodded, and she offered him a large, heavy-looking cloth compress. “Here, use this to staunch the bleeding. It’s much better than that rag. Now, we should be getting back to base, I’ll give you some ointment to put on those cuts on the way.” When Gisei still didn’t move, she sighed softly. “Sergeant, if I may say so, Colonel Lu Ten did not die so his friend could get himself killed by earthbenders anyway ten minutes later because he could not move away from here. Come on, now.”

He had no argument for that, and he let the medic put an arm around his shoulders and lead him away from the battlefield. “Don’t tell any of those warhounds back at base,” she said, quietly so only he could hear even though no one else was within earshot. “But I agree with the general. I couldn’t be happier to hear we’re leaving this awful place. And just because we broke through the wall is no guarantee that we would have won in the end. For all we know it could have ended up a disaster. And by this point, the less soldiers that end up dead for the sake of this fruitless siege, the better. Do you agree, Sergeant?”

Gisei nodded mechanically, looking at the ground. At the moment, speculations on what might have or what should have happened were meaningless to him. What would any of that change? Lu Ten - his best friend, his colonel, his prince - was dead, had died in pain and fear and desperation; and it was all his fault. If he could, he would gladly have fallen there in Lu Ten’s place, as he should have. But none of this could be changed. 

_This was not how things were meant to be. Not at all._

~0~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - ALL RIGHT MAYBE IT WAS MORE LIKE TWO MONTHS AND MAYBE I SHOULDN’T MAKE PROMISES I’M NOT ABSOLUTELY SURE I CAN KEEP. BUT I’M ACTUALLY REALLY PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER SO I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT. I'll have the fifth and final chapter up as soon as I can.
> 
> Chapters like this are what I have a sad music playlist for. (orchestra starts in the background) Dormire liberi, dulci pueri dormite...

It wasn’t as if Azula would ever admit it to him, or to anyone for that matter, but sometimes spending time with Zuko could be worth her while. Her brother fell short at most things, but even he could be good at a simple game. Then again, tag was a hard thing to mess up, and he probably only liked it because neither of them could really be better than the other, but what did that matter? It was fun, so why should she point any of that out and ruin it for herself? More than that, from the quick glances she stole at their mother, this was one of those occasions where she looked on her daughter with approval in her eyes. It wouldn’t last, Azula knew - she could pretend that this peaceful moment was all there was for an hour at the most, if she were luckier than usual - but still, though it was in the long run pointless, there was a part of her that wouldn’t mind it stretching out forever. In fact, though it would probably give Zuko a chance to get further ahead of her, she turned quickly and took another look at Mother -

Oh. A messenger was just leaving, how had she not noticed him before? When her eyes landed on the letter in Mother’s hands, for just a moment, a thrill of excitement ran through her. _Maybe Lu Ten wrote back! I bet they broke through the wall by now and he -_ Those hopeful thoughts stopped short when she saw the look on their mother’s face. Where Uncle Iroh’s last letter had brightened the woman’s features, this one made her whole body sag with quiet, resigned despair. A sudden wave of fear washed any hope of good news away, and she put on a burst of speed to grab Zuko's arm and tug hard, stopping him short.

"Ow!" he complained. "Azula, stop it, what are you d - " 

"Look!" she said, pointing at their mother. Zuko followed her gaze, and his annoyed look faded immediately, replaced with one of worry. Both siblings had the same thought: _What is going on?_

Feeling her children’s eyes on her, Ursa looked up. She didn’t bother to force the sorrow from her face, she knew she wouldn’t be able to. It would be of no use anyway; they were both more than intelligent enough to see through a false smile. There really was no good way to deliver news like this, nor was there a way to take it well, but Ursa had always found that it was best to be direct about these things. She stood up, and looked her children in the eyes. "Iroh has lost his son. Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle."

Instantly, Azula felt her body go cold and numb, like someone had dunked her in ice water. Zuko sucked in a shocked gasp, his eyes wide and disbelieving. "He...H-He's dead?" he breathed, sounding as if the words had knocked the air out of him.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry, darling.” 

“But...He...That can’t be, that can’t...” Zuko said weakly, trying to find some way to deny what he had just been told. Unable to find the words, he turned to his sister, not knowing what he was looking for but not expecting what he saw. 

At first glance, Azula did not appear to react at all, but she stood rigid and unmoving, as if frozen to the spot. Her eyes were wide and her jaw hung open; she looked as if she’d been slapped. Ursa’s words were repeating in her head, over and over: _Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle...Lu Ten did not survive...Lu Ten..._ She heard herself whisper the small, disbelieving word: “No...” 

Zuko had never seen her this way before, shocked and vulnerable and with tears in her eyes that she didn’t seem to notice, and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to handle it. But for the first time in a long time, his heart hurt for his younger sister. He went quickly over to her, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder the way Mother would do with him if he was upset. “Azula..I-It’s okay...It’s going to be oka - “

But feeling her brother’s hand on her and hearing his attempt at comfort seemed to snap Azula out of her daze. Her face twisted with anger and she smacked Zuko’s arm away, making him jump back, startled. “You’re so stupid!” she shouted. “It’s not okay! It’s not going to be! It never will be!” She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and she felt a sharp stab of humiliation as they spilled down her face. She couldn’t stay here. Not here, where everyone could see her. Not for another second! 

She turned and sprinted from the courtyard, and a hurt and bewildered Zuko, holding his smarting hand, stared after her for a moment. It was still shocking to not only see his sister upset, but also to see her cry, but that shock wasn’t strong enough that anger couldn’t come rushing quickly in at her rejection. “I was just trying to help!” he shouted after her. “Can’t you see that?!”

But she was already out of sight, and if she had heard him, she didn’t answer.

~0~

The palace halls were reduced to a red blur in Azula’s vision as she ran towards her room, the only place she could think of to go for just a little bit of privacy. The palace’s many secret passages and hideaways would likely have been better, but she didn’t yet know her way around them well enough to not get lost. Lu Ten had said once that he would teach her and Zuko how to memorize the routes and maneuver in them. (“Agni forbid that you’re ever in enough danger that you need to use them to get out fast, but to be safe you’d better know. After all, even if you don’t have to use them to protect yourselves, who knows when one of you is going to want to sneak in a gentleman or lady friend with them when you’re older?” he’d said, winking and then laughing when both his cousins rolled their eyes at the mention of his then-frivolous love life.) He’d promised to teach them so many things once he came back from the battlefield.

And now...

She hated the sting of tears in her eyes, _hated_ it. If her father saw her now, he would laugh at her, mock her, probably snap at her to stop being so weak. And he would be right to do so. This was weakness and vulnerability at its worst, but there was nothing Azula could do about it. That was the thought that hit her like a punch in the gut: her cousin - her brave, powerful, loving cousin - was dead, and there was nothing she could do to make it right. Some great _prodigy_ she was, she thought bitterly; she was completely useless. 

Thankfully, she reached her room quickly, ignored by the few servants she’d noticed out of the corners of her eyes. News traveled quickly in this court, and from the split-second glimpses of pity on their faces, she could tell they knew exactly why their young princess was so upset. She hated all of them too, them and their pity both. She threw open her door and slammed it shut behind her the second she ran in, and collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in a pillow. Her whole body was shaking, and the soft red fabric quickly grew damp under her eyes. Zuko could deny reality all he liked, and she could wish she could do the same, but there was no getting away from this. 

Her mother had not elaborated on what exactly had happened to him at Ba Sing Se...Everyone always went on and on about how Lu Ten was an unstoppable war hero, so what exactly could have been strong enough to finally stop him for good? How had they done it? Unwanted images of what she’d read in the palace library, overheard from the soldiers, and directly heard from her father about the sort of gruesome things that could happen to a soldier on the battlefield (the way her aunt Kei Rin had died being one of the least agonizing among them) began to float into her mind, and her stomach lurched horribly. 

Needing something, anything, to force those nauseating thoughts out of her head, she lifted her head and looked around the room, and her eyes landed on the small, polished wooden box she kept on her nightstand, that had a picture of a hawk in flight and the characters of Lu Ten’s name on it. Part of her noted that going through the contents of that box would hardly be less painful, but she didn’t care. Better to remember what she loved about her cousin than to keep wondering just how he had been killed. She reached over and set the box on the bedspread in front of her, opening the lid to see all the letters he had sent her over the past year and a half. It had become something of a habit for Azula to look through these every once in a while, and she kept them carefully arranged by date of arrival. She leafed through the paper, not quite sure what she was looking for, skimming the letters she passed over. 

_I promise, the second I get home, I’m taking you and Zuko on a shirshu ride; Nyla is the best! I think Hakkai’s a bit jealous, though, he and Nyla growl at each other whenever they meet. It makes it kind of hard to ride next to Jun, I’ll have to try and train him out of it. Why can’t our animals get along like we do?_

_Sorry you don’t like my dad’s presents. I keep telling him he’s sending the wrong things, but I don’t think he gets it. He’s got this idea in his head of what girls like and all that, and he really means well, but he doesn’t actually have a clue about what you personally would enjoy. He does a bit better with Zuko because he tends to like stereotypically ‘boyish’ things a lot more than you like stereotypically ‘girlish’ things. I’ll try to talk some more sense into him, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the books I sent you. I know you love learning about military strategy, and I found_ The Dragon Rider’s Journal _to be a very interesting read. Honestly, I’ll never understand how the idea of killing them for sport got into Great-grandfather’s head. Such a pointless waste, of such amazing and loyal creatures._

_You want to go into the army when you get older, right? One piece of advice for you, since I know you’ll be more than good enough to get into a legitimate position of command: when you do, you’ve got to treat your troops right. You know that old saying about how you catch more spider-flies with honey than vinegar? It’s totally true. My soldiers all say they love me because I’m so protective and considerate of them (their words, not mine, I really don’t want to brag). If you want people to be loyal to you, that’s what you have to do too._

_About your last letter - I’m glad you told me that, even if I’m too far away to do anything about it right now. (Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your dad doesn’t find out you wrote to me. You’re fine.) Take it from someone who loves you dearly, Azula: he is dead wrong. He has no right to call you weak if you don’t immediately master something. You’re doing the absolute best you can, and it’s perfectly fine to not get something right away._

_I know you said in your last letter that you think my friend Gisei is too timid to be a good soldier (and you might like to know that Nageki was very happy that my cousin approves of him). All right, I’ll admit that he’s on the skittish side usually. But even if he’s as not as gung-ho about everything as Nageki is, he’s a loyal friend to me, and I’d say he’s one of the most all-around decent people in this army. He’d lay down his life for me just as surely as I would for him._

Finally, her searching fingers reached the back of the box, and she pulled out the last letter that Lu Ten had sent to her, dated two months ago. She had only had time to read it once, and she had practically forgotten what the last things he had said to her had been. 

_I think I’m coming home soon, Azula. By the time this letter gets to you, it’ll be just about time to finish this siege once and for all, according to Dad and the other generals. I always knew I’d be happy to hear that, but never quite this happy. To tell you the truth, sometimes I’m just so tired of this place, of this war, of all the blood and death. But everything’s going to be better from now on because of what I and my comrades have done here. I’m helping make a huge step towards peace in the Earth Kingdom. I’m going to bring Jun back home to live with me, and then we’re going to be married. (She was teasing me with the whole ‘I’ll follow you anywhere’ line. But she told me later that she would marry me if I came back and asked her, and she meant that). And then, I promise, I will do everything in my power to make sure I never have to leave you and your brother for this long ever again. It’ll be even better than it was before. I’ll be your sifu again (I think Uncle Ozai’s held my position long enough), and we can -_

Her vision was blurring too much for her to read any more, and she dropped the letter, sinking back down onto the pillows with a sob. An hour ago, she could have read those words and been filled with happiness and certainty that what her cousin was doing was worth the risks, that he would return to her before she knew it, that he would make everything okay again. Now all it was, was a pointless little fantasy that could only hurt her. 

Just then, there was a knock at her door. It was a light, subdued sound, but it made Azula bite back a scream and dig her nails into the pillow, wishing it were her brother’s face. Hadn’t she made it clear enough that she just wanted the idiot to leave her alone?! “Go away, Zuko!” she shouted, not caring how awfully the crying distorted her voice.

“It’s not Zuko.” Her breath hitched again at the wholly unexpected sound of her mother’s voice, and she didn’t answer. Ursa went on, “If you want to be alone for a while, that’s perfectly all right. Just tell me, and I’ll go. But if you don’t say anything, I’m coming in.”

Her first instinct was to act as she normally would and tell her just that. But, part of her reasoned, she was already being, as her father would put it, “sickeningly vulnerable.” Why not just admit for once that she wanted her mother’s comfort? So she stayed silent, and in a moment Ursa opened the door, shut it behind her to give them privacy, and walked over to sit beside her daughter on the bed. “Oh, my girl...” she crooned, laying a hand on Azula’s shoulder, not overlooking the way the child tensed at her touch. “I’m so sorry. I know you must be hurting so much right now...I truly hate seeing you this way; I wish there was some way I could make everything all right.”

Azula lifted her head to look at Ursa. She wasn’t stupid: she knew full well what this woman really thought of her, however much she pretended to care about her. She had heard the words clear as day, when her mother had shouted furiously at her father, _You’ve turned her into a monster!_ Her uncle had once admonished her for liking to listen in on conversations, warning her that eavesdroppers never heard anything good. Well, he’d been right on that count, Azula had thought, because she would be much happier if she had never found out the truth. But it was strange: she saw no hint of pity or false compassion in Ursa’s eyes. And there was still the question of why she had chosen to be here comforting the child that she feared and detested, instead of fawning all over precious Zuko as per the norm?

She didn’t understand it. But she was not about to look a gift ostrich-horse in the mouth. Just for once, she could allow herself this moment of weakness, and her father would never need to know. So when her mother opened her arms to her, said softly, “Come here, darling,” she did not hesitate to throw herself into them, burying her face against her shoulder. Ursa’s heart twisted as she pulled her trembling daughter close to her, running a gentle hand up and down her back. “It’s okay. I know it hurts. This is the first time you’ve lost someone you dearly love, isn’t it?”

Azula nodded, sniffling into the older princess’ dress. “It...It does hurt. Wh-Why did it have to be him?”

“I’ve asked myself that question many times before, when some of the people I love passed on. And I’m afraid I still don’t know the answer. Agni only knows why some live and others die. But I do know this: it’s going to be all right. I understand that it doesn’t feel like that now, but you’re going to be all right. You’re a strong girl; no matter how painful this is, you can get through it.”

“O-Okay...” 

Normally, she would have skeptically brushed Ursa’s words off, but she tried her best to take them to heart now. At the moment, they were weak comfort, but comfort nonetheless. It didn’t answer the questions that came into her mind like stabs to the heart - why couldn’t her cousin have fought harder to live? Why had he decided to offer up his own life, worth so much more than almost anyone else’s? Why didn’t his friends, his father, _anyone_ protect him or help him? _Why?_ \- but it did make her feel better, even more so because they were coming from her mother. She could count on her fingers the number of times that sweet and soothing tone had been directed at her instead of her brother and still have some left over, and the cold, cynical part of her didn’t miss the rather ridiculous fact that it took a violent death in the family to make Ursa show affection for her. But then again, it was infinitely better than anything Ozai would do, and if this was the best she could get, then she supposed it wasn’t bad at all. _This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?_ she thought. _Take what you can while you can get it._

“Okay...” she said again, half to herself. She curled up closer to her mother and closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the feeling of warmth and safety while it lasted. 

Ursa moved her hand upward, softly stroking her daughter’s hair. “Lu Ten used to tell me, over and over again, what a fantastic bender you are and how strong you were becoming. He was always so proud of you, darling. He would be very happy to see how much better you’ve gotten.”

_Proud of me like you never are,_ Azula thought but didn’t dare say out loud. “But...now he can’t see me. I can’t ever show him everything I wanted to.”

“Perhaps not. But you know, many of the Fire Sages have said that it’s possible for those who have passed on to watch over their living loved ones from the Spirit World. Perhaps Lu Ten will be watching over you and Zuko from now on.”

“M-Maybe...” She tried not to cry harder at the mention of her brother. _Couldn’t go five minutes without bringing him into this, could you?_

“Whether it’s true or not - and I personally have always believed that it is - the most important thing to remember is that your cousin loved you dearly, as if you were his own sister. You’ll remember that, won’t you?”

“I will,” she murmured. _I’ll remember that he loved me much more than you do. More than anyone else does. It shouldn’t have been him who died._

~0~

The lingering scent of incense was almost as thick in the corridors as it was in the courtyard, and through the windows Azula could see the light of the candles, still flickering even after the last embers of the pyre they surrounded had died away. It had been a wonderful ceremony, as funerals went, she’d heard everyone saying. No expense spared to send the heroic warrior prince to the Spirit World in as honorable a fashion as possible. It made certain that Agni would receive his favored child with open arms, and welcome him warmly into his next life, as the Fire Sages said. One thing was for sure, she was never going to forget it. 

Azula had heard people talk about it before - from some curious girls at school to the soldiers who’d made it home alive - but she had never actually seen a lifeless body before. She hadn’t known what to expect when, in the time set aside before the funeral for family to have one last private moment with their lost loved one, she went up to her cousin’s body lying neatly on a platform. Neither she nor her brother had ever seen a dead person before (Father hadn't bothered with a final family farewell to Azulon, and his body had been covered by a shroud at his funeral), and the reality of it both did and did not match the picture that had formed in her mind at the idea. 

The burial shroud hadn't been placed over him yet, his eyes had been closed, and he lay completely still: if they hadn't known for sure that Lu Ten was dead, they could have mistaken him for just being asleep at first glance, turning the experience surreal and unsettling right from the beginning. Father had only knelt before the body for as long as would be properly respectful and not a second longer. When he exited the room, leaving his children to deal with it on their own, Azula saw that he had arranged his features into a perfect mask of stoicism, and she wondered fleetingly what his true feelings were. 

The two of them had approached him - it, now that what had once been their cousin was now only lifeless flesh? She didn’t know - slowly, hesitantly. Normally, she would have taunted Zuko about being such a coward he was afraid of something already dead, but she was nervous too, and she didn’t think that teasing her brother would make her feel any better or braver about it this time. They both knelt in front of the platform, as was proper, to offer their prayers to Agni for their cousin’s safe retrieval. The words entered her mind again - _For he who offered his own life for the lives of his brethren, whose life was extinguished to fuel the flame of his nation, Great Agni, spirit of fire, give eternal warmth and peace_ \- and again she hoped they were being heard somewhere.

When they had finished that, however, they had not been quite sure what to do. This was normally the time when family would get together and talk, sharing fond memories of the dead person’s life with them. But Father couldn’t be bothered to, Mother had disappeared, Uncle Iroh had been allowed a solitary viewing before them and was already gone. It was only Zuko and Azula left, and neither sibling felt like talking to the other in general now, let alone here. Sharing fond memories would only be a painful reminder of how much life could change, and had changed, and how it would never be the same again. 

So they had not spoken to or even looked at each other, and instead turned their eyes to the body in front of them. Azula didn’t know about Zuko, but the sight made her heart twist painfully, and she had felt like bursting into tears all over again. She knew all about how morticians needed to preserve bodies with special solutions to keep them from rotting before they were presented to their families, and army doctors needed to use even more to preserve the body long enough to hold it together for the long voyage home. But even so, how could they ruin her cousin like this? It looked like Lu Ten (of course it did, it was him - had been him?) and was dressed in shining black armor, as his own, battle-scarred armor would be buried with him, along with other choice personal possessions of his. But it was like a fake version of him, a copy molded in cheap wax. The lips were too thin and abnormally stretched, the face was sunken, and the skin was wan and pasty. This wasn’t Lu Ten. This image that made her sick to her stomach wasn’t what she wanted to associate with him. She couldn’t remember her cousin like this. 

Not bothering to see what Zuko thought of all this, Azula had abruptly turned and walked away from the body as quickly as she could without betraying how desperate she was to get out of there. No more displays of weakness, she’d decided, not like when she’d first gotten the news. No one should see what was going on in her head any more. Vulnerability like that could never do her any good. As she retreated back down the halls to her room, she had been sure to keep her face perfectly blank of emotions, in the same sort of mask she’d seen her father wear. If he could do it, so could she.

It had been relatively easy to keep it up then, but the actual funeral had been a different matter entirely. Unlike her grandfather’s funeral, where it had been necessary for her and Zuko to be directly next to the pyre alongside their father, they had been allowed to stand at the front of the crowd with most of the other upper-class mourners. Azula had said nothing about it, but for once she was glad not to be in such a prominent position as Ozai and Iroh (who stood respectfully with the Fire Sages alongside the pyre) because, as they were both from the high nobility, Mai and Ty Lee were able to be beside the royal siblings this time. 

It had been gut-wrenching enough getting through this funeral even with the two of them there - Zuko was no help at all - and she didn't want to know what it would have been like without them. Through the whole thing, it had been unusually difficult to breathe normally, and her eyes burned with the effort of trying not to cry again. Even though there had been nothing she wanted to do more than let go and allow the tears to fall, that hadn’t been an option. Father had been watching, and she didn’t dare let him think her soft, or suspect that she did not agree with him as much as she had assured him she did about how Lu Ten’s death, while tragic, had been all for the best. She could not let him think that she was as foolish or softhearted as Zuko, who had abandoned all pretense of composure and was sobbing his heart out while gripping Mai’s hand tightly, for once uncaring of and unaffected by how Ozai glared disapprovingly at him. Always the lucky one, she thought, feeling the familiar sting of envy. 

The head Fire Sage stepped forward and began to speak, in a ringing voice that carried over the whole courtyard: “Lu Ten, second prince of the Fire Nation. You proved your worth as a great leader in the retaking of Isle Kodachi. You fought with the strength of dozens in the destruction of Tanisawa Stronghold. You pressed on relentlessly at the Siege of Ba Sing Se, and refused to surrender even at your dying breath. You were the first and only son of Prince Iroh and of Princess Kei Rin, now passed. You have left neither a widow, nor children, but your legacy will not be forgotten. We lay you to rest.” 

With those words, two of the attending sages stepped forward, and simultaneously launched streams of fire at Lu Ten’s pyre, setting it ablaze. Azula couldn’t keep her breath from hitching as she watched her cousin’s body go up in flames, and heard her brother let out a particularly loud and pained cry. _Shut up,_ she had wanted to yell at him, feeling her throat start to close up, painfully tightly, _shut up, if I can’t do that, neither can you..._

On her right side, Mai squeezed her hand reassuringly, while on her left side Ty Lee wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. She thought she might have heard them whispering some words of comfort, too, but she wasn’t listening hard enough to make them out. All she could hear was the hissing and crackling of the fire as it burned higher and stronger, the sparks and curls of dark smoke rising up towards the dark sky, as it turned what was left of her cousin to ashes. The sight made her eyes sting, with both heat and unshed tears, but she could not have looked away if she had tried.

The question still gnawed at her: Why, in the name of all the spirits, did it have to be Lu Ten who died? Why not Zuko, the useless, whining attention hog; why not Ursa, who lied to and abandoned her; why not Iroh, who had failed to do his duty as a general and a father and either protect or avenge his son? Agni, she would even prefer that it were her father being burned on the pyre, instead of the one royal who deserved death the least! One small, rebellious part of her thought she might like that better, with the domineering man’s shadow off of her forever and her valiant, purehearted cousin always beside her instead, with the Heir’s Flame in his topknot, set to become the most powerful man in the nation. It would be safer that way, at least, and happier. But she could not think about things like that: to do so would be treason now.

She didn’t know how long it had taken for the flames to consume every last bit of him, and with one final prayer the crowd of mourners had slowly dispersed. Her father had been the first of them to go, turning back into the palace with a smile and a sweep of his robes. Her uncle had stayed behind to assist the Fire Sages in clearing away the remains and transporting them to Lu Ten’s tomb in the Dragonbone Catacombs. All too soon, her friends had been whisked away by their parents (though not before each of them could get in one final hug), and Agni only knew where her brother was. It didn’t matter; the only thing she wanted right now was for this exhausting day to be over. And it would have gone just that way, if she hadn’t happened to overhear two familiar voices talking in an adjacent hallway.

“Prince Zuko, you cannot judge your sister so harshly. Remember that she is hurting just as much as you are.”

“Hmph. Could’ve fooled me. Did you even see her before? I mean, it was his _funeral_ and she didn’t even cry. She didn’t even look _sad!_ It was like...like she just didn’t feel anything at all. That’s so creepy, who acts like that?”

With every word out of her brother’s mouth, anger mounted higher and heat burned stronger in Azula’s chest. _First Mother, now you...Does_ everyone _insult me behind my back?!_

“It’s better than acting the way you did,” she retorted as she turned the corner and advanced towards them, taking vindictive pleasure in how badly Zuko jumped at realizing she’d heard him. “At least I could hold myself together. _You_ were crying and wailing like a little brat. No wonder Dad says you’re a disgrace.”

Zuko’s entire face went red, and he clenched his fists. “Shut up! Dad would never say that! And you shouldn’t be listening in on private conversations anyway!”

“What do you mean, _private?_ You’re not the only ones allowed here, you know! If you don’t want anyone to hear you, then don’t go running your mouth off in the middle of the hall!”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I’ll talk wherever I want!”

The siblings were in each other’s faces at this point, and Iroh, fearing that they might start throwing punches in a minute, gently but firmly laid a hand on their shoulders and moved them both away from each other. “Now, now, calm down, both of you. There is no need to shout, I’m sure you can settle this in a peaceful - “ Neither child was interested enough in that idea to even let Iroh finish the sentence.

“Why should I? _He’s_ the one who started it, talking about me behind my back because he’s too much of a coward to say anything to my face!”

“I only said that because it was true! At least I’m not a liar like you! At least I actually loved Lu Ten enough to _feel_ something when they were burning up his body!”

“What did you just say?! Did you just imply that I don’t love our cousin?!” _Dad couldn’t kill you, but I’m about to!_

Again, Iroh attempted to defuse the situation. “I am sure your brother did not mean it the way you thought. We know you cared deeply for Lu Ten - “

“More than you did!” Azula snapped, turning on him. “You’re the one who brought him to war and let him die!”

Iroh was too taken aback by the sudden, vicious accusation to do anything more than blink in surprise, but Zuko retaliated instead. “Don’t go there, Azula,” he growled. “Don’t you _dare.”_

“Shut up, Zuko. Who do you think you are, Mom?” The thought crossed her mind that maybe Zuko was right to warn her off, that their uncle was not the correct outlet for her fury. It was quickly dismissed: she could not be in the wrong here. “If it had been us fighting with Dad, he would have protected us instead of letting us get killed! If Uncle were in danger, Lu Ten would have protected him too! But he did nothing to protect Lu Ten! _Nothing at all!_ He and everyone else, after everything he did for them...They just let him _die!”_

His sister’s hands were shaking and her eyes blazed so intensely that Zuko, startled and reminded disturbingly of their father, took an instinctive step back. “A-Azula...” He stopped himself from telling her to calm down, he knew better than to think that would do anything but make things worse. “A-Are you okay?” he offered weakly. _Demons take me, that’s not going to work either..._

“Okay?!” _Nope. Didn’t think so._ “Of course I’m not _okay,_ you idiot! But you two seem to be!”

“Princess Azula, please understand,” Iroh began, slowly and quietly. “If there had been anything, _anything_ at all, that I could have done to save Lu Ten, I would have. I would have gladly given my life for his.”

“But you didn’t,” she snarled, not bothering to keep the bite of hatred out of her voice. How could he be so _calm_ about this?! “You didn’t protect him. You didn’t save him. Now he’s dead and there’s nothing anyone can do about it! You...You killed your own son, and you can’t take that back! You can never make it right!”

“Azula!” Zuko shouted, scandalized. “Don’t say that! What’s wrong with you?!” 

He really was trying to be just like Mother, wasn’t he? Azula ignored him and kept her focus on Iroh, who was looking as if she’d sucker punched him. “And not only that, you didn’t even _try_ to avenge him. You gave up on the fight he died trying to win! You didn’t just make his death meaningless - _hundreds_ of other soldiers were killed at Ba Sing Se! Thanks to you, _every single one of them_ died for absolutely _nothing!_ You _should_ have given up your life to save Lu Ten. He should have been the one to come back alive! He wouldn’t have given up; if it had been you that was killed he’d have burned the city to the ground to make sure you were avenged. He wasn’t a coward like you! Everyone would be better off if you had died instead of him!” 

And before either of them could respond, she whipped around and ran back the way she came and out of sight (if she could get the last word in, she reasoned, it would sink in more to them), leaving the two princes staring after her, one furious and the other stunned. The former was the first to speak: “Who does she think she is?! She can’t talk to you like that!”

“I...” The word came out soft and weak at first, and it took a moment for Iroh to recover enough to speak clearly again. “I do not think she meant it.”

“Are you serious, Uncle?! She - “

“I know. But understand, Prince Zuko, that different people deal with pain and loss in very different ways. I find it likely that, in her grief, your sister lashes out and says things she intends to be cruel and hurtful, but that she does not mean. At least, I fervently hope she did not really mean that.”

Zuko was wholly unconvinced. “Hmph. I doubt it. You don’t understand, Uncle - I told you, this is how she _always_ is, ever since you and Lu Ten left.”

“Is that so...?” Iroh’s brow furrowed as the long-ago memory of another angry child, glaring up at him with resentment in his gold eyes, entered his mind. _It’s your fault Dad doesn’t care about me! Everything would be better if you weren’t around!_ The things Zuko had already told him about the unsettling change in Azula’s behavior made it all the more uncomfortably familiar. _She is becoming more and more like her father,_ Iroh thought, _just as Lu Ten feared._

“And the worst part is, I don’t understand _why,”_ Zuko went on. His vehemence fizzled out as sadness and confusion made their way in, and his shoulders sagged despondently. “We used to get along okay, didn’t we? I just don’t get it...Nothing is the _same_ anymore.”

“I know, nephew, I know. You’ve had a difficult time of it as well. But you are a resilient young man, like your cousin always was. You can and will get through any hardships that come your way.”

“...I hope so,” Zuko said quietly, unconvinced. “I think...No offense, I’m glad you’re here, Uncle, but...I think that everything wouldn’t seem as bad as it is if Mom were still here.”

Iroh did not allow his suspicions about the boy’s parents to show on his face. He would not create crisis in his nation by challenging Ozai’s apparently legitimate claim to the throne, especially not at a time like this, but he would be a fool not to see that there was more to his father’s death and his sister-in-law’s little vanishing act than anyone else realized. However, he knew better than to let on any of that to Zuko, who was dealing with enough already without the heavy knowledge of the royal family’s tendencies towards corruption and murder. He wondered how much Azula, always the more perceptive child and the one closest to Ozai, knew about it all, whether she had figured it out herself or been let in on it by her father. 

He had finally come home from Ba Sing Se after nearly two long years of combat, only to walk right from the battlefield back into the den of rat-vipers he’d known and hated for so long. Worse, this time he returned without the solid, consolatory presence of his son beside him. But even though he had lost Lu Ten, the paternal feelings of love and protectiveness had not faded, he was quickly coming to realize. Rather, they had simply begun to shift from one kind and idealistic boy to another. 

“Perhaps you are right about that, Prince Zuko,” he said, wrapping a comforting arm around his nephew’s shoulders. “I miss your mother as well. But Princess Ursa always maintained that you were a good and strong person, with the will and potential to do great things if given the chance. I think you should know that I feel just the same way that she does, and that if you ever need to talk to someone, about anything, I am always here for you.”

Zuko looked up to him with a small but hopeful smile. “Thanks, Uncle. I’ll remember that.”

Iroh smiled back, thinking that with the proper guidance, surely Zuko could grow into the same honorable man his cousin had been. So since Ursa was no longer there to provide said guidance, and the thought of Ozai being this boy’s sole influence was fairly frightening, he supposed that it now fell to him to ensure that he remained a good person, unsullied by their family’s coldness and cruelty. 

Of course, he would offer the same assistance to Azula, as well, if she were as willing as Zuko was to reach out for it. But he knew that she was far likelier to reject him in favor of her father, especially with the newfound hatred for him that burned in her heart, and that she was the sort who would hold a grudge until the end of time. He did not see how he was supposed to help someone who would, without a doubt, determinedly refuse his help. 

_Lu Ten...You saw the light of the sun in that child,_ he thought ruefully. _But all I can see is darkness in her future._

~0~

It was exactly a week after the funeral when the royal siblings were summoned to a study in the officials’ wing of the palace. By coincidence, they arrived together, their eyes narrowing and jaws clenching when they saw the other at the opposite end of the hallway, and determinedly did not look at each other as they entered the door in the middle of it. 

“Good morning, Princess Azula, Crown Prince Zuko,” a Fire Sage whose name escaped them both greeted them. Zuko started, still not used to being addressed by his new title, while Azula internally bristled at the sound of it. “As the Fire Lord may have told you, he and your lord uncle were present at the recent reading of Prince Lu Ten’s last will and testament. He left some of his possessions to you, and you will receive them now.”

“What did he leave us?” Zuko asked eagerly. 

“The prince’s properties, estate, and most of his possessions were either left to General Iroh or returned to the collective ownership of the royal family. And he requested specifically that all his books be donated to the palace library, and that as much money as he had the right to give be left to his... _paramour_ in the Earth Kingdom,” the sage said, the last words spoken with barely hidden distaste. 

“Well...That’s nice of him, isn’t it?” Zuko said awkwardly. He’d never fully worked out how to feel about their cousin falling for a half-breed bounty hunter from the colonies. Azula muttered something that he was fairly sure included the words _‘too nice for his own good.’_

“You will inherit a few of his personal effects,” continued the sage as he opened a large, gold-edged chest behind him and reached inside. “First, to Princess Azula...” Azula straightened up at the sound of her name. “Prince Lu Ten left his collection of firebending scrolls. He wishes you to continue the training you began with him.” He took a wooden box, with painted characters on the top that spelled out their cousin’s name, from the trunk and placed it in the arms of the stunned girl.

“All...All of them?” she asked, to no one in particular. With some difficulty (the box was slightly too big to fit comfortably in her arms) she removed the lid and stared, amazed, at the dozens of scrolls packed neatly inside. The thought struck her that she was now holding the wealth of her cousin’s knowledge, all the moves and forms he had learned and the ones he had developed and written down himself. This was, at least in part, what had made Lu Ten the master firebender she had spent her life looking up to. And now he had entrusted that to her.

“Why did he leave them all to _you?!”_ an indignant Zuko demanded. “I was learning from him too!” When his sister only smirked at him in response, he gave an angry huff and turned to the Fire Sage. “What did he leave me?”

“To Prince Zuko...” The sage drew out a long black and gold sheath divided into two sections. “Prince Lu Ten left his dual dao blades. He wishes you to become as proficient with them as he once was.”

“Jianhuren...” Zuko breathed, all the anger rushing out of him as he took the sheath in his hands. “Didn’t he make them himself, when he was just learning how to use swords?”

“Indeed he did: from the claws of the last dragon, gifted to him by his lord father.” The sage gave both siblings a smile, making him seem suddenly less official and far more benevolent. “If I may say so, I am glad to see you happy with your inheritances, my prince and princess. Your late cousin would be pleased with you. There is just one last thing.” He reached back into the chest and then handed each of them a large square envelope, with their cousin’s personal seal stamped into the crimson wax. “As you may already know, all soldiers are encouraged to write letters to their loved ones that will be delivered in the event that they do not return from the battlefield. These were what Prince Lu Ten wanted to be his final words to you.”

“Thank you,” both siblings said, not quite in unison. They slipped the envelopes into their shirt pockets, unwilling to open and read them in front of each other. 

The sage bent into a respectful bow. “It has been my honor,” he said, before walking from the room and leaving the two of them alone. 

With great care, Zuko took both swords by the hilts and pulled them from the large sheath. He assumed the stance he remembered Lu Ten always starting his sword training with, and slowly began a basic form he’d only ever done with wooden practice swords. His movements were awkward (the swords were heavier and a different shape than he was used to, not to mention that the blades were as long as his arms), but unlike in his firebending, he did not falter, and save for a need of training and refinement there was very little actually wrong with it. Watching him, Azula remembered from the lessons she had watched that Zuko seemed to be a natural at swordplay. 

When she realized what that meant, she narrowed her eyes. If her brother proved skillful enough with these blades that it attracted Father’s attention, he might be able to use this to curry favor with him. There was, admittedly, little chance that he would actually be able to surpass her in Father’s eyes, but Azula would take _no_ chances. She knew what happened to those who fell out of her father’s favor, and in any case, she would not let herself be overlooked by _both_ parents.

“He probably only left you those because he knew you can’t do a decent kata to save your life,” she sneered.

Unexpectedly, Zuko did not immediately fly off the handle at the acerbic comment. Instead, he stopped, straightened up, and glared at her with eyes of steel. “If you really think that,” he said coldly, “then you didn’t know Lu Ten at all.”

“What?!” Azula burst out, in a shriller voice than she’d intended. 

“You heard me. There, I said it to your face, happy now?”

“You’d better take that back! I’ll make you regret it!”

“No,” he said firmly, keeping up the glare. She couldn’t tell if he was really unafraid to stand up to her, or if he was just doing a very good job of hiding his fear. In any case, she would prefer the latter - it angered her enough that he was not backing down and apparently thought that any consequences would be worth it. “Lu Ten left me Jianhuren because he knew _I’m_ the one who can use them best,” Zuko went on. “Better than _you,_ at least. I’m going to be as strong as he was one day, and you...you can just watch me!”

With that, Zuko sheathed the swords, picked up the sheath, turned on his heel and stalked out, leaving his sister alone and fuming. How could Zuko think that he would ever get anywhere near Lu Ten’s level, or hers, for that matter? So he got a couple fancy swords and then started having delusions of grandeur, did he? It was practically an insult to their cousin! Azula would not accept any of this. Clutching the box of scrolls tighter to her chest, she dashed out the door.

~0~

“And then, and then she said that Lu Ten only gave me his swords because he didn’t think I could firebend! Can you believe that?!”

“Considering it’s Azula you’re talking about, yes,” Mai answered bluntly, leaning back to relax as much as one could on the stone benches on the sidelines of the training court. Zuko, having gotten himself even more worked up recounting his sister’s words, threw himself harder into the form he was trying, moving and striking harder and faster than he probably should have been. But she had to admit, he was pretty good for a beginner. 

“I told her she was wrong, though,” Zuko said fiercely as he slid into the final move. “I told her I’d prove it too!”

Mai raised an eyebrow. “Right to her face? And she _didn’t_ singe your topknot off?”

“She might try something to get back at me. You know, for telling her the truth. But I don’t care.” He turned and looked over at his friend, moving closer to the bench. “Can you show me the scroll for the Hawk’s Wing? I want to try that one again.”

“Sure.” She adjusted the set of swordplay scrolls that they’d borrowed from General Iroh to show Zuko’s chosen form, and after studying it for a moment he ran back to the center of the court. He took a deep breath, and got into his stance, holding one sword out in front of him and the other near his hip. He allowed himself one moment of hesitation to run through the moves in his head again, and then rushed into the form, swinging and ducking and slashing. Most of it went smoothly, as it had the last few tries, but on one of the last steps he swung too widely and lost his balance, sending him crashing to the hard stone floor with a startled shout, the swords skidding across it.

“Are you okay?” Mai asked, half standing up.

“Urgh...Yeah, I’m fine,” Zuko muttered, pulling himself back up and recovering the blades. The image of his sister’s mocking smile flashed in his mind again, and he felt his body grow hot with anger. “But why can’t I just get this one move right?”

“I think you just need some more practice,” Mai offered, used to dealing with her friend’s frustrations. “You only got those swords today, you know.”

“So?”

_“So,_ you haven’t been training for very long at all. Do you think you’re going to master everything right away?”

“Azula can,” Zuko said resentfully.

Mai sighed. She understood that, prodigy or not, Azula had only gotten to be as skilled as she was by working harder than probably anyone else. She’d watched her friend train herself to exhaustion enough times to see that. Nothing less would satisfy her and nothing less would satisfy Fire Lord Ozai. But, trying to explain this to her hot-blooded brother would only result in a heated rebuttal about how Azula got everything right without even trying and it was never fair for him, so Mai decided that it would be best not to waste the effort again and changed the subject instead. “Maybe you just need to try something different,” she suggested. “Did you open that letter from your cousin yet? He might have given you some advice.”

Zuko’s eyes widened. “Oh, right! I almost forgot about that!” He quickly returned the swords to the sheath strapped tightly to his back and darted over to her. The sealed envelope laid next to the scrolls on the bench, and he snatched it up and broke the wax. As he removed the folded sheets of paper, Mai drew back, not wanting to intrude, but Zuko, noticing, gestured for her to come back over. “You can read too, if you want. I don’t mind.” She did, and looked over his shoulder as he unfolded the paper and began to read:

_“Zuko -_

_If you’re reading this, then...well, you know what’s happened to me. There’s so much that I want to tell you, but they’re things I should be there beside you, in person, through your life to say. But if things really have turned out for the worse, this letter will have to do. So I need you to pay close attention and take everything I say here to heart, okay? Here it goes, then._

_I think I should tell you some more about your inheritance first. You probably don’t need to be reminded of this, but Jianhuren is one of my most important possessions. It’s amazingly rare, too - dragon claw isn’t exactly in high supply nowadays, you know. (It’s about ten times stronger than any metal, though, and it’ll cut through just about anything). Something so special has to be taken good care of, and I trust you to be able to do that. I hope my blades will be as special to you as they have been to me. Now, I know you’ve had some sword training before, but wielding Jianhuren is going to be pretty different._

_I learned most of what I know about it from Master Piandao. In learning anything, what you need to do is find yourself a good master to teach you, so ask my father to take you to Shu Jing to see if Piandao still takes on students. Even if he doesn’t any more, he’ll probably make an exception for you as a favor to me; I asked him about it in my letter to him. The palace’s swordplay scrolls are helpful too, so study those techniques hard. But before you do anything, there’s one very important piece of advice I have to give you about fighting with these swords. You’ve practiced with only single blades before, so keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as separate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole. Remember that, Zuko, and you’ll be able to master Jianhuren. I know you can do it if you really put your mind to it._

_Now, I guess I have to talk about the less pleasant things that are on my mind. If I die, or, Agni forbid, if my father and I both die, the order of succession will shift. The sooner we’re both gone, the sooner Uncle Ozai gets to the throne. So if you’re reading this now, I bet your life has changed a lot, huh? I wish I could be there to help you, but that’s obviously not going to happen any more. So like I said, this letter will have to do. I understand you’ve never liked to hear things that are difficult, but please listen to me now. I’ve known your father more personally and for much longer than you have, and I can honestly tell you that he’s always had his eye on the throne. If my father or I end up killed here, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that he’s become Fire Lord sooner than anyone thought he would._

_If that’s happened, then as crown prince (or third in line for the throne if my father’s still alive and the heir) there’s a lot more that’s expected of you. What’s more, people are going to try and influence you, especially since you’re young. It’s perfectly fine to take advice from others, don’t get me wrong. But you have to make sure you know for certain who has your best interests at heart, and who just wants to use you for their own ends. I know your mother wants to shield you from everything that might be hard or painful, but the fact is that the world is tough, and you can’t escape it forever. Even so, I have faith in you. I know you can be strong. I know you are strong. What you need to do is make sure that you stay your own person, and not something that someone else wants you to be._

_To be honest, Zuko, our family is not perfect. It’s barely even stable. When you hear people calling the royal court a den of weasel-vipers, it’s not a joke. Be absolutely sure you know who is your friend, who is your ally, who is your enemy, and how far you can trust any of them. And above all, you and your sister have to stick together. I know that you and Azula don’t always get along, and it might be tough sometimes. But you’re brother and sister, and you can’t afford to let anything tear you apart. You’re much stronger together, trust me. I can’t emphasize enough how important this is to the both of you. No matter what happens, stay together, like you promised me you would._

_You know, I worry about you two a lot, especially about what could happen to you without me. You have to protect each other and care for each other if I’m not there to do it any more. Zuko, you tend to be more sensitive and empathetic than your sister. Both of you are good kids, but the thought of what Azula might become under a bad influence makes me nervous to say the least. So as her older brother, you have to set a good example for her and be a better influence, just like I am for you._

_You got all that? So many words, my hand is cramping up. There’s just one last thing you have to remember. I love you like my own little brother. Whatever happens, I will always love you. Keep that with you. If I don’t come back and you end up having to read this letter...please forgive me._

_\- Your cousin, Lu Ten.”_

Both children were silent for a moment after reading the last characters. Mai tentatively broke the silence: “Well...You learned some more about the swords, at least.”

“Yeah...” Zuko said, his voice faint. For the couple of minutes it had taken him to read the letter, he had heard his cousin’s voice in his head as clearly as if Lu Ten were standing right next to him. It was an unexpected punch in the gut, and it took him a moment to come back to earth enough to fully process what he had just read. Of course he’d take good care of Jianhuren, and the very next time he saw Uncle Iroh he would ask about a trip to Shu Jing. Stay his own person...He frowned. Lu Ten wasn’t making much sense there. He would certainly be able to do that; how could he be anybody but himself? It couldn’t be as big a problem as it was being made out to be. And he knew very well who he could trust. His uncle, his friends, his father - he could rely on all of them. His sister, though... 

Memories of her, with a smirk on her face, cruelty in her eyes, and acid in her voice, ran through his mind. Too many of them for such a short time. Zuko’s eyes narrowed. “He wanted me to stay close to Azula? I think that ship has sailed. Things have changed too much.” He turned to Mai. “Don’t _you_ think?”

She shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Do you think he wrote something like that in his letter to her?”

“Probably. But she won’t listen. She says she loved him so much, and she won’t even listen to him,” he said bitterly. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“So what do you want to do now?”

Zuko took a deep breath. “He said some important things about using the dual blades. I want to keep going with my sword training for a while. You don’t mind hanging around for that, do you?”

“Knock yourself out,” she replied, sitting back down next to the swordplay scrolls.

Unsheathing the swords again, Zuko walked back to the center of the training court and assumed his stance. He took another slow, deliberate breath. _These are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as separate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole._ He adjusted his hold on the blades, picturing them not as separate or different, but as one, as Lu Ten had thought of them. It was a small change, but it seemed to make so much difference. It made it _fit,_ somehow. _I’ll remember this._ Envisioning himself, an older and stronger version of himself, as the great swordsman and warrior that his cousin had been, Zuko threw himself into the form. This time, he did not fail.

~0~

“Hey, Azula?”

“What?”

“Isn’t this...This is the same place your cousin always used to take you, right?”

Azula narrowed her eyes, but did not stop running through her kata. “It is. What about it?”

Ty Lee, perched on a rock on the side of the little training field, cringed slightly at her friend’s sharp tone. “Uh...Nothing, I was just wondering. So...Are you doing one of the forms he made up?”

“No,” Azula said, punctuating the word with a high kick. “I’ll get to those soon, though.”

“I think it’s really cool that he was able to do that. Maybe one day you’ll invent your own forms too! You’re definitely smart enough to!”

“Well, you’re right about that. But I should probably try most of these forms first.” She straightened up as she finished the final move. “Move to the next scroll, would you?”

As Ty Lee adjusted the scrolls, again Azula noticed her eyes flicking curiously to the opened envelope, with part of the unfolded paper inside sticking out, lying on the flat rock next to them. She rolled her eyes. “If you want to read Lu Ten’s letter so much, then go ahead and read it. It’s fine with me.”

Ty Lee jumped, clearly not thinking she’d been so easy to read. “Oh! Are...Are you sure?”

“I just said it was fine, didn’t I? Read it if you want, or not, it doesn’t matter to me. Just don’t tell anyone else what it says.”

Hesitantly, Ty Lee picked up the envelope, took out the paper, and began to read it as Azula began the next kata. She would have set fire to anyone who tried taking it without her permission, but (strangely, she thought) she didn’t mind sharing the letter with Ty Lee, no matter how personal it was to her. Besides, she had already read it over a dozen times, hanging on to her cousin’s last words so closely that she was close to memorizing it all. 

_“Azula -_

_I hope you never have to read this letter, but if you are, then you know I’m not around any more. I’m so sorry that I left you like this, but I probably didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. And I’m sorry that I won’t be there with you as you grow up, but I can give you some final pieces of advice in this letter. That’s the least I can do for you, now that I can’t help you out in person. Please, I need you to do your best to remember everything I say here, all right? These are the most important things I can think of to say to you, and so I need these words to stick._

_First off, your inheritance. I won’t be able to train you myself any longer, and I have to say I was really looking forward to teaching you all my personal favorite forms. But I know that I can trust you to master every one of them even without me to teach you. Think of me when you start doing the ones I invented, will you? I’d like to know that part of me will still be there with you, even when you start learning from a different sifu. You know that I always loved being your sifu, right? You’re a wonderful student and such a hard worker. You’ll be a firebending master better than me before you know it. I have faith in you! Just...When someone else starts training you, do your best to learn from them, but don’t forget my lessons. I don’t want you to lose what I tried to teach you. Try asking my dad for help if you need it: you two don’t know each other all that well, but he’s definitely worth a try, at least. And keep in mind that although she hardly ever shows it, your mom is just as strong as your dad, if not stronger. She could be good to go to, too. Don’t ever think that you have to rely on yourself, or on just one person. There are always people around you that you can trust, and that will help you if you just reach out to them._

_Second, if I’m gone, that means things are going to be seriously changing in the palace. The death of a significant royal will always cause a power vacuum of some kind, and not to brag, but second prince and supposed-to-be future Fire Lord is pretty significant. I’m going to be very, very honest with you here, Azula, because I know you can take it. It’s no secret that my uncle wants to be Fire Lord, and we both know he’s used to getting what he wants no matter what he has to do to make it happen. If both my father and I die out here, then that leaves Ozai as crown prince, easy; if it’s just me, then my father will be left with no wife and no heir, and that makes it very easy for Ozai to try and stake a claim on the throne, since he’ll (hopefully) still have your mom and you two. I know Grandfather prefers my dad, but I have to admit that your dad is really smart. I won’t be surprised at all if he finds some way to make himself Fire Lord before I’m even on the funeral pyre._

_If it turns out that I’m right (and I really do hope that I’m not), then let it be a lesson to you, Azula. Political intrigues are not a game, and the royal court is probably more dangerous than the battlefield. At least there your enemies are perfectly honest about how much they want to ruin you, and don’t pretend to be your friend before they stab you in the back. I hate to say it, but from here on out, you can’t afford to be naïve, and you have to be very careful who you place your trust in. Find friends you can definitely count on to watch your back and stick with them like your life depends on it. Don’t let anyone deceive you, and especially look out for people who act as if they care about you just to lure you in and use you for their own ends. Those are the kinds of people who will only treat you well until they don’t need you any longer, and then they’ll show their true colors and throw you away. Do not let that happen. The people you love are essential to your life and happiness, but be very, very careful who you give your love and loyalty to. I don’t like to scare you, but you always need to consider that you may be giving them to the wrong person. To keep yourself safe, never assume anything, trust your instincts, and use your best judgement. Okay?_

_Third...All right, I know bringing Zuko into this letter is probably going to annoy you, but don’t stop reading or paying attention. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to, and I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him: now that I’m gone, you and Zuko have to stick close together, got it? The bond between siblings is special, because it means you two are a natural-born team even if you don’t always get along. It is absolutely crucial that you stick together. You remember when I left, and you two promised me that you’d remember that the only way you win is together? Well, I may not be alive anymore, but I’m still holding the both of you to that._

_As self-important as it might sound, to tell you the truth, the thought of both of you losing me so soon scares me, Azula. It really does. I worry a lot about what could happen to you guys without me there to guide you and teach you. Please believe me when I say you’ll always do better together, and that it would be a bad idea for you to drift apart and end up on your own, weaker than you would have been otherwise. It’s especially important for you personally. I don’t mean to insult Zuko, but of the two of you, he’s the softer and gentler one, the one more vulnerable and easily hurt. And as the stronger sibling, it’s your job to protect him and try to make him strong like you, because you have nothing to gain from tearing him down. Remember that the duty of the royal family, as the most powerful people in the nation, is to use that power to safeguard the people who need it most. So look after Zuko the way I always looked after you._

_So many words to each of you, and it still doesn’t feel like anywhere near enough. But this is all I have to give you now. I hope to every spirit that you’ll keep it with you. But even if you forget everything else, remember this one last thing: I love you so much, more than I would my own sister. You are so, so loved, Azula; don’t ever forget that. If I can’t come back to you, then I hope you can forgive me._

_\- Your cousin, Lu Ten.”_

Damn her cousin for making her sob even harder the first time she’d read through all that than when she’d gotten the news of his death. Maybe one day, probably farther in the future than he’d like, Azula would be able to forgive him for going off and dying on her, for breaking his promise to return to her. For now, she could focus on the information that he’d considered it imperative to pass on to her.

It was gratifying to learn that Lu Ten respected her enough to not treat her like an ignorant child, and do his best to warn her about what she would have to face as a member of the royal family. He trusted her to know how to handle herself in a cutthroat place like this, and was doing his best to give her all the help he could when he could not be by her side in it. She hadn’t thought it possible to be even more impressed with her cousin’s intelligence and insight than she already was, but she had to hand it to him: not many people that she knew of could have predicted exactly what would happen to their family when they died. Though perhaps that could be credited more to him knowing his relatives well enough to predict their actions, and the results that would come of it, rather than general foresight. 

At any rate, he had certainly taken the time to learn how her father would act: he had used Lu Ten’s death, Iroh’s lack of wife and heir, and his possession of two living heirs to justify his bid for the throne, and had indeed been crowned Fire Lord before his nephew’s body had even left the Earth Kingdom, all through his own intelligence and careful preparation. Father hadn’t told her anything outright, and Agni knew Zuko was too dumb to figure it out for himself, but it was clear to her that her grandfather’s death had not been natural, and her mother had not deserted them for no reason (though in any case she was probably glad to be rid of her problem child for good). 

Lu Ten was right, as usual. All that had happened in this past week was only proof that it took a lot to survive in this palace, and it took exceptional effort from an equally exceptional person to thrive. She wouldn’t fail her cousin: now it was her father who thrived here, and soon enough it would be her. She would be just as smart, just as clever, just as careful as he wanted her to be, and keep only loyal friends like Mai and Ty Lee close to her. Offhand, those were the only two friends she could think of that were trustworthy enough to confide in, but it would probably be best to keep the number low enough to manage anyway. Someone as naïve as Zuko would screw it up for sure, but she knew enough to know exactly who she could trust to be genuine with her. 

The grudge her cousin still bore against her father, though, continued to puzzle her. The two of them didn’t exactly get along - and according to her uncle, they never had, even as children - but Azula couldn’t understand why he still spoke about Ozai with such obvious anger and distrust, as if he were the scum of the earth. Yes, he had gotten Azulon killed so he could take over, but of course it was all for the best, and it wasn’t as if he would be a bad Fire Lord. He wouldn’t be as good as Lu Ten, who had been born with divine right to the throne, would have been, but he was worlds better than Iroh would have been. Her father was neither weak nor cowardly like his brother, and he could very well be the Fire Lord who finally led the Fire Nation to victory. Not only that, but he was now the only relative she had who held any love for her. The rest of her family’s resentment of her didn’t matter at all, she told herself, if only she could continue to prove herself worthy of that love, and stay in her father’s good graces. She was his only daughter, his favored child, his pride; there was no chance he would ever throw her away like her mother had. 

Lu Ten’s pleas for her to stick close to Zuko were, as he had said, unwelcome, but far less confusing. While they had still been a typical pair of bickering siblings when he had left them, they had gotten along much better back then, though it put a bitter taste in her mouth to admit that even to herself. It had been less than two years (not too long at all, really), but the change in their relationship had been more dramatic than her cousin could have realized. Soft and easily hurt was Zuko in a nutshell, so at least that part was correct; and only an idiot wouldn’t realize that she was far stronger than he could ever be. But it being her job to protect him and help him? Plausible then, but completely ridiculous now. 

She knew she was the superior of the two, but Zuko made it clear that he was convinced that he was the better one simply by virtue of being the elder (and her mother had done nothing but support that delusion while tearing down Azula for good measure), and she had seen him arguing with the palace trainers enough to know that he had come to respond angrily to people trying to help him. He always thought that he knew what was best, wouldn’t listen to anyone else, and carried on doing things the way he wanted to even if they were wrong. And then he wondered why Father was so frustrated with him.

Looking after her idiot brother was out of the question; looking after herself was difficult enough. Even if he could stand to be in the company of the sister he hated, he would only drag her down. Sticking around the family disappointment wouldn’t earn her any points with Father. _Sorry, Lu Ten. I know you love me, and I’m not at all ungrateful for that. But I can’t do what you’re asking, not for Zuko. He’s not worth it. Besides, he’s got Uncle Iroh to look after him in your place. I have to worry about myself._

With that thought and one last spinning strike, Azula finished the long kata, and was a moment away from telling Ty Lee to show her which one was next when the sudden sound of applause came from behind them. Both girls jumped in surprise, and turned around to see Ozai standing there, with a self-satisfied smile on his face. “Well done, Azula,” he said as he approached them. “As always.”

Ty Lee, for all that she had spent time with Azula still intimidated by most higher-ranked royals, immediately hopped off the rock and dropped into an awkward bow. “I-I’m honored to meet you, Fire Lord Ozai!” she squeaked. “Th-thank you for letting me help Azula train!”

Ozai raised one eyebrow as he regarded the small girl below him. “You do look familiar. Who might you be, again?”

“Ty Lee Suzume, Fire Lord.”

“Ah. One of Lord Suzume’s brood,” Ozai said with a dismissive nod. “If you would excuse us, young lady, I would like to have a moment with my daughter.”

“Yes, Fire Lord! Uh...Bye, Azula!” 

She darted off like a sparrow chased by a hawk, leaving the two royals alone. Azula, making a mental note to help her friend either develop more of a spine or learn how to hide her fear, stood up straighter and folded her hands respectfully. “What is it, Father?”

“Nothing in particular. I merely wanted to watch you at your training. It pleases me to know your cousin’s unfortunate death hasn’t hindered your progress, unlike your brother. How he plans to become a better firebender by wasting precious hours swinging around his new swords, I can’t fathom. A bender should need no weapon but their body and their element.” One corner of his mouth pulled up into a cruel smirk. “Perhaps if Lu Ten had spent less time with those useless toys of his, he would have returned home alive and well.”

“...Perhaps he would have,” Azula answered mechanically, biting back an automatic angry retort. This was her father, she reminded herself; he could not be so irreverent as to insult a soldier and relative who had fought and died heroically, and even if he was she could not talk back to him. That wouldn’t impress him at all...But she thought she knew what would. “Father, unless there’s something specific you want me to do, I have one form I would really like to show you.”

“Very well. Show me, then.”

“Yes, Father!” 

This was one of the more difficult forms she had learned from Lu Ten, one that he had been particularly excited to teach her, and she was certain her father would be as proud of how she had mastered it as her cousin had been. She assumed her first stance, took a deep breath, and earnestly began the kata, jumping, kicking, spinning, and striking all around the field. Her fire was plenty strong - in fact, it seemed to her that it had begun blazing much hotter than usual lately - but perfectly contained, with not one single spark escaping her control to light the grass beneath it. The movements were comfortable and familiar, enough so that she had complete confidence that she was performing flawlessly. 

A minute later, when she had completed the final move, Azula turned on her heel to face her father, the beginnings of a hopeful smile on her face as she anticipated his praise, only to fall flat when she saw the irritation on his face. _“That_ was what you were so eager to show me?” he said coldly. “Apparently all your cousin taught you was how to be careless and mediocre. I expect this sort of display from Zuko, but never from you. Do it again and do it right this time.”

For a moment, all she could do was stare blankly, blinking in surprise. _What?_ She started when Ozai snapped impatiently, “Well, go on then, if you’re so anxious to show off,” and immediately jumped back into the first stance. Shock quickly gave way to indignant anger, and she quietly fumed as she went through the form again, paying closer attention but not knowing what for. _I didn’t do anything wrong the first time! I_ know _I didn’t do anything wrong! I’ve practiced this form a hundred times before and Lu Ten always praised me! Always!_

“That’s hardly better. Again!”

_Why?!_ she internally raged, biting her lip to keep from shouting back as she threw herself into the form for the third time, still completely in the dark as to what imperfections her father was seeing and what he was expecting her to do differently. _I’m doing everything right! I_ always _do everything right! Why is that never enough?! Not for Mother, not for you...Why is that_ never _enough for_ anybody?! _What am I doing_ wrong?!

As Azula struck out for the final time, her control slipped at the last instant, and the normally tightly reined-in fire blasted out larger and wilder than she had intended. Her eyes widened and her heart clenched in momentary terror at the blatant mistake...only for another jolt of shock to run through her as she watched it leave her fingertips not wholly orange as it always had, but with the edges of each tongue of flame burning a brilliant blue. Again, she stared, wide-eyed, as it faded into nothing. Had she really just seen that - _done_ that? Had that really just happened? She turned to her father for confirmation, and found it in the look of complete and utter awe on his face. _Yes, he saw it too!_

“Azula...” Ozai began slowly. “How did you do that?”

“I...I don’t know,” she admitted. “That’s never happened before...” Experimentally, she brought up a small plume of flame in her hand, and there was no trace of blue in that. She focused harder, trying to visualize that stunning color, but it remained obstinately orange. “I don’t know what I have to do to - “

“Then figure it out,” Ozai ordered. Though his voice was still sharp, he was now far from displeased. His eyes shone with elation and avarice, as his mind raced with imaginings of what his daughter’s newfound skill could mean for him. “However you have to do it. Do you have any idea how wonderful this will be, Azula? The ability to bend multicolored fire is even rarer than the ability to lightningbend. In the whole history of our royal family, only a handful of firebenders have achieved it; the most recent was Fire Lord Yuzuki, and her time was over three hundred years ago. I never expected anything so amazing as to see it resurface in my own child.” 

_Wonderful. Amazing._ The sincere approval of her made her heart lift, and all her anger from a minute ago was forgotten. “Yes, Father!” 

“Very good. I’ll leave you alone for a while to practice, but I will return in an hour to check on your progress,” Ozai said. “You have proven to be an extraordinary bender, Azula, worlds better than your brother could ever hope to be. I trust that you will continue to impress me this way.”

With that, the Fire Lord turned and started back for the palace, leaving his daughter beaming. “I will! I definitely will!” she called after his retreating form, and then darted over to sift through the firebending scrolls still resting on the flat rock until she found one detailing how to perform one of her cousin’s creations. Studying the relatively simple but effective form until she was certain she’d memorized all the steps, she moved back into the center of the field. She stayed still for only a moment to take a breath, and then dropped into the form, keeping the memory of Lu Ten showing it to her in her mind as she went through it. 

Again, the wisps of blue flame failed to make a reappearance. But that was all right, Azula thought. She had worked hard for everything she was now able to do, and summoning the blue fire would be no different. Father had faith in her; he had said so. Surely she would be able to do it. So she happily began the form again, with the sun on her back, the breeze running through her hair, and the sound of waves rolling and crashing against the cliffside in the background.

_You are so, so loved, Azula; don’t ever forget that._

Azula swore she would not fail the two family members she loved most. She would make her father love her the way Lu Ten had loved her. She was certain he would, so long as she was able to earn it.

~0~


	5. Chapter 5

_She’ll never tell anyone, but her earliest memory is not of her father, or her mother, or her brother - it is of her cousin._

_Their surroundings are blurred and indecipherable. He is the only thing that’s at all clear, as she runs to him as fast as her tiny legs will carry her. The closer she gets, the taller he looks from her awkward vantage point, but then Lu Ten had always seemed larger than life to her. “Yuyu!” she cries, her voice high and squeaky (Zuko’s wasn’t the only name she’d once had trouble with), and he laughs, reaching down and sweeping her into his arms. These barely remembered traces are all that remain of the sense of absolute safety that she had felt with him, the knowledge that he would never let her fall or be hurt._

_Now there’s the wind in her face and the sharp scent of the ocean in the air and perfect streams of golden flame swirling around Lu Ten like trained serpents, as he demonstrates his bending prowess in front of her, in the field that belongs only to them. The fire spirits themselves could not hope to wield the element the way he does, smoothly and flawlessly, already a master at the age of seventeen. His smile is as bright as the sun, the light of the sun is in his eyes - her cousin_ is _the sun, powerful, beautiful, untouchable._

_Now the world is slate gray all around her, and the driving rain is drenching her, chilling her to the bone. The light is gone from her cousin’s eyes, every wound from the cross scar on his jaw to the holes in his chest stream with blood, and his armor hangs off of him in pieces as he approaches her, hunched and stumbling like a broken marionette._

_“Azula...”_

_The fear and desperation in his voice -_ his, _of all people’s! - turn her stomach to ice. She wants to turn and run, run as far and as fast as she can, but she’s frozen to the spot._

_He’s so close now, too close. Blood runs down his chin from the corners of his mouth, and she can smell it on his breath. “Azula...Help me...”_

_His voice is a death rattle, and when he speaks drops of the blood from his mouth fly out to hit her face, warm and sticky, mingling with the freezing rain. He reaches out with one shaking hand, grabs her around the back of her neck, and yanks her towards him. “Help me!”_

_She still can’t move to get away no matter how badly she wants to, can only cry out helplessly through the lump in her throat,_ “I can’t!”

~0~

Azula woke abruptly, and it took her a moment to get her bearings. The chill of the rain, the touch of a dead man’s hand, still seemed to linger on her skin. But those feelings quickly vanished, as she became aware of warm blankets around her and a soft, living body pressed up against her own. Slowly, she turned over to see Ty Lee snuggled beside her, her rest untroubled by the movement. This was one of the larger Fire Nation bases that they had stopped for the night at, and so they could have picked a room with three separate beds, but the two of them found it far preferable to share just one half of a bunk bed, while Mai took the other for herself. (Azula insisted that it was purely a matter of practicality, that it was the best action to take when faced with the ridiculously cold Earth Kingdom weather, while Ty Lee was far more open about the real reason they liked it. The knowing smile that played on Mai’s lips whenever one of them brought it up showed clearly which one of them she believed.)

The younger girl’s arms were wrapped around Azula’s chest, and her head rested comfortably on her shoulder instead of the pillow. Her breathing was even and her face relaxed; surely only pleasant dreams blessed her sleep tonight. Lucky her. She briefly considered closing her eyes again and trying to sink back into sleep, but she hesitated: these nightmares often came on each other’s heels, and they made her restless anyway. Carefully, she extricated herself from Ty Lee’s arms, threw on a warmer outfit and boots, and slipped out of the room.

There was a fairly large cleared area on the far side of the base. It would be perfect for ten or fifteen minutes of light training, which in turn would be perfect for taking her mind off of everything for just a little while so she could rest easily (well, relatively so) for the remainder of the night. She walked into the middle of the dusty arena and went into a defensive stance. She tried to focus as much as she could on her kata, but as she went through it, she found that she could not turn her other thoughts off. 

From this place, it was only a two-day journey to the stronghold where the project that the war ministers had been raving about for months was being housed. The idea of an enormous moving drill that would take the three of them to Ba Sing Se in less than a week, and allow them to break through the wall in an hour at the very least on top of that, excited her, but it did sound a little too good to be true. She had decided to reserve judgment on it for now, and wait to actually see it in action first. If the drill did fail somehow, her father would have the head of whoever was responsible, but neither would matter much to her. She had had a backup plan in mind ever since defeating the Kyoshi Warriors and taking their clothes upon their imprisonment, so whatever happened with the drill, they would have a perfect way to get inside the city, and from there, have an equally perfect opportunity to take it from the inside.

However, as pleased with herself and her nation as she was, as much as the anticipation was building up higher inside her with each passing day, she couldn’t help but wonder more than she probably should what her cousin would think of all this. 

She would like to think that he would be as proud of her as she was of herself. After all, it had been him who had first inspired her to become a powerful fighter, and later to become a soldier, just like he was. Surely, he would be proud of how the cousin he had devoted so much time and effort to had not only survived, but thrived. However, the thought also occurred to her that Lu Ten had spent almost two solid years of his life struggling and fighting, in blood and rain and filth, to take this city. He had become one of the hundreds who had died for that cause, giving even his last breath in service to his nation. And now she was going to achieve what he never could, easily, effortlessly, in nowhere near the time he had taken. It didn’t seem fair to him, somehow. But of course that was completely unreasonable to think - Lu Ten had valued that victory over Ba Sing Se more than anything, save for perhaps the lives of his comrades. 

Of all the questions that had burned through her mind about her cousin’s death, that was perhaps the one that angered and confused her the most. She had known and understood that he put himself in danger of being killed every time he went on another tour of duty, but she had never expected someone as smart as him to die by giving his life for someone else’s. If she could see him again, she would tell him exactly what that had sounded like to her: foolishness, pure and simple. 

Somewhat ironically, she would be the only honest one; everyone she’d posed the question to, up to and including Iroh and Zuko, had blathered on about how _brave_ and _noble_ and _selfless_ Lu Ten had been for doing what he did. And of course, that was what they had to say to people’s faces, but she knew that they were all thinking the same things that she said. He might have truly believed that getting himself killed was honorable, but the only one who actually believed that he had done the right thing had been him. And if what she had been taught about the dead being able to look back at their living loved ones from the Spirit World was true, then all he had been able to do when his own father spit on his sacrifice and ran away with his tail between his legs was watch helplessly. 

_Even so, you can rest peacefully, cousin. I will make sure of it. I will reclaim the honor your useless father stole from you, I swear it on your memory. But still, I wonder...How could you think anyone, even your friend, was worth giving up your victory for in the first place? Who could_ make _you think like that?_

“...Princess? I’m very sorry to interrupt you, but might I have a moment of your time?”

She stopped mid-snake strike, and turned to look at the young soldier standing at attention on the sidelines. Part of her was annoyed at being bothered at a time like this and wanted to chase him off and finish her kata, but it would be much more rational to hold off reprimanding him until she had decided whether whatever he had to say was worth listening to.

“I suppose so...Major Seigi, was it?” she asked, realizing that she recognized him from earlier today. There was something familiar about that name, Azula had thought, from the moment he had welcomed the three of them into the army outpost to rest for the night and resupply in the morning. But she had never seen this young man before - at least, she was fairly certain she hadn't. She would definitely remember seeing a face like his, as ruined by a blade as her brother’s had been with fire. “What business do you have with me?”

The major’s attempt at a friendly smile was made somewhat unsettling by the grotesque way it stretched the scars nearest his mouth. “Please, forgive my boldness, Your Highness. But ever since I heard that you had been deployed to the Earth Kingdom, I had been hoping to get the opportunity to speak with you. But I should ask first: did your cousin ever tell you about me, in his letters home? Or did your uncle?”

She didn’t let her surprise at the realization show on her face, but the mention of her cousin made everything click in her mind. “So _you’re_ the best friend Lu Ten was always going on about,” she said, the hint of a smirk beginning to show on her face. _And also the boy who he thought it would be a good idea to throw his life away for, the idiot,_ she mentally added, but better not to touch on that subject yet. “You’ve certainly come far since my cousin knew you, Gisei Seigi.”

He looked fairly pleased that she’d recognized him, but despite that expression, the nervousness did not leave his eyes. For an apparently accomplished soldier - one did not rise from sergeant to major in just six years and at only twenty-two years old for being average - he rather reminded her of a small and skittish animal. “I believe I have,” he agreed. “I said it to Colonel Lu Ten once before, and I will say it again to you now: serving at his side was the highest honor I could have asked for.”

“I’m certain hearing that must have made him very happy. However, I doubt that you sought me out at this hour just to praise my long-gone cousin. What do you really want to say to me?”

The tentative smile dropped from Seigi’s face, and when he spoke, it was in a more serious tone than she’d heard him use before. “It’s true that I didn't come to talk about how wonderful the colonel was. But I did come to talk about him, and a part of him that I don’t think would be good to discuss here, if you get my meaning.”

_Ah. Eyes and ears everywhere, always in the right place to overhear delicate information._ Not that she had much of an idea what this one might want to inform her of, but if Lu Ten had deemed him trustworthy, then for the time being she supposed she could too, and listen to what he had to say. “I understand, Major. Our lizards don’t require much sleep, so I’m sure we’d have no trouble taking them to go someplace more private, if that’s what you had in mind?”

“Yes, Princess,” Seigi agreed, and nodded his head towards the stables. “If you would be so kind as to wait a few minutes while I tack them up, then we can go.”

“Very well.”

~0~

Seigi worked fast, and it was not long before the two of them were riding out, circling the base at about a mile away, over the grass of the forest floor. “If I may ask again, how much did Colonel Lu Ten tell you about me, Princess?”

“He mentioned you often in his letters. He could ramble for pages about you and this other boy named Nageki Noha, about how you were such good friends and loyal soldiers and kind people, and about all the things you’d done with him and for him, and so on and so on. All very heartwarming.”

Even in the darkness, she thought she could see Seigi’s cheeks flush. “Did he...? That’s...not quite a surprise, truthfully, considering the sort of person he was, but pleasant nonetheless.”

“I’m sure.”

“On a less pleasant note...By now you probably know all about my involvement with his death,” he went on. He looked down, grief and shame clear on his face, gripping the reins tightly. “I swear to you, Princess, if I had seen what he was going to do, if I could have stopped him from doing what he did, I would have. I would not have hesitated any more than he did. You believe me, don’t you?” 

“Yes. I don't believe you would be stupid enough to come to me with a lie,” she said lightly, making sure to put a note of warning in her voice. “What are you getting at, Major?”

“I am not trying to make any excuses for myself and my failure. What’s done is done, and I will accept my guilt. But when I look back on the Colonel’s death, I realize that there are parts of it that don’t quite add up...And the more I think on that, the more strongly I feel that I have to tell _someone_ about it. The Fire Lord is, of course, inaccessible to someone like me, and Prince Iroh and Prince Zuko are traitors who could do nothing useful with the information. So that leaves you, and just as well - I get the sense that you were the one the Colonel was closest to, after all, barring his father.”

She would not let it show on her face, of course, but her interest was piqued, mostly because she could guess what Seigi was getting at. “You suspect that my cousin’s death was not simply a battlefield casualty?” 

“Yes, Princess, I do.”

“Not that the assassination of royalty is uncommon, but that’s a heavy accusation to level, Major. Why do you think that?”

“Well...I know this might not seem like solid proof, but there was something he said...” Seigi lifted his head and turned to look Azula in the face as he spoke. “I was with him at the end. He might have died in his father’s arms, but he was in mine first. And it hurt him to speak, but he kept trying to talk to me. He said that something was wrong, that there was something happening to his body. Thinking about it with a clear head, I realize that he wanted to tell me something important, but at the time I was just...I was too afraid and too overwhelmed by everything that was happening, and I didn’t answer him, I just talked over him. I thought it would be more important to comfort him, to try and tell him everything would be okay...” He was clearly fighting to speak through a lump in his throat by now, but he managed to finish clearly. “I thought wrong. I ignored him, and now I’ve had to put the pieces together myself. Because that’s not all I’ve been considering.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I served in the Colonel’s unit for two years, and in every battle, I was right there by his side. I watched enough to know very well all his strengths and weaknesses, and more importantly, to be certain of his limitations. I don’t know how much he told you about how he’d get hurt in battle, but he was always putting the lives of his troops above his own, always trying to protect us even if it meant using his own body as a shield. He dove in front of a boulder to save me, and died for it. But that’s where things just don’t add up. I’ve seen him pull that move before, on attacks just that strong when he was just as exhausted as he was that day, and they didn’t kill him. That man had dragon’s hide and steel muscles - _nothing_ had ever hurt him that badly. And he tried to tell me that something was wrong with his body. What if he was trying to say that someone had done something to him, that made him too weak to survive what he would normally bounce back from?”

“You’re suggesting he was poisoned? Or something of the sort?”

Seigi nodded once, still keeping his eyes locked with hers. The tears had faded from them, and they burned with conviction. “Yes. That’s exactly what I think. And I believe I know where it came from, too. Before the Colonel fell, he was struck with three arrows, and he was the only one who was struck by any. We have no record of Ba Sing Se’s army using archers. If an earthbender wanted to fight from a distance, you know as well as I do that they would just rip a projectile up from the ground. Where did those arrows come from?”

“An assassin...”

“Exactly.”

“Well, poison is a fitting weapon for a rat-viper like that, I suppose,” Azula muttered, considering the idea.

The thought that Lu Ten had actually been assassinated had never crossed her mind before, but she had never had any reason to think so. And by his own admission, Seigi was presenting the theory on rather flimsy evidence. Still, she would not disregard it so hastily. She knew from the conversations with her father and his ilk (some overheard illicitly, some she had been invited to hear) that Lu Ten had made more than a few enemies in his lifetime. It had been almost inevitable, she thought. His power on and off the battlefield, his absolute lack of fear of anyone at court, his determination to get his way, his tendency to have radical feelings towards non-Fire Nationals, and his being destined for the crown made for a deadly combination. There were plenty of people who had surely privately celebrated her cousin’s death, and that made Seigi’s belief that one of them had orchestrated it worth looking into, at least.

“Have you told anyone else of your suspicions?” she asked him.

“No, I’ve - “ Seigi broke off, something flashing in his eyes. Though he tried, he wasn’t exactly subtle in pulling on the reins to back his lizard away from Azula’s. “Why do you ask that, Princess?” he asked in a voice too tense to be convincingly casual.

“Oh, get back here, _I’m_ not going to hurt you!” Azula snapped. “All I want to do is make sure you didn’t go running your mouth off to someone who will!”

Seigi’s eyes widened marginally. “Is that it?” He quickly brought his lizard back up to flank hers. “Forgive me, Princess, I assumed wrong. As I said, you are the only one I’ve brought this up to. You have nothing to worry about there.”

“Hmph. As if I would waste the life my cousin died to save. You wouldn’t back down on this theory of yours, then?”

“Never,” he promised, narrowing his eyes. “If I didn’t believe he’d simply given out on his own in battle, I would stay down and take all the blame, as I should. But I am absolutely sure that there was more to what happened than I thought. And so I owe it to the Colonel to discover the truth for certain. I _need_ to find justice for my friend, and I’m grateful that you’re willing to listen to me, Princess.”

“Of course I am. If there _is_ any truth to your claim, then it would be my duty as Lu Ten’s cousin to avenge his murder.” More like the only family member who was ready and willing to do so, but Seigi probably already understood that. “But you should know...I don’t blame you, Major. None of this is your fault.”

Seigi looked more shocked than if she had slapped him. “Princess...Th-thank you, I - !”

“Don’t misunderstand, it’s no matter of sentimentality - I am not my cousin, after all,” she explained, smirking at the look on his face. “It’s a matter of basic logic. It’s not as if you _made_ Lu Ten jump in front of that boulder for you. Worth it or not, that was his choice and his alone. Besides, from what little I’ve heard my uncle say about it, you were occupied with multiple opponents at once, and didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. You certainly _wanted_ to have done something to help him, or to stop him, or to take the blow that was meant for you, but you simply weren’t able to. So to blame you for what my cousin did of his own will, while you were helpless, would be completely unreasonable. And you can stop gaping at me like I just grew a dragon’s head; surely I’m not the first one who’s pointed that out to you?”

“I...” He finally breaks eye contact, looking away in shame again. “I’m sorry to say it, Princess, but you are. And I thank you for your kindness - it’s more than I deserve - but I know what you must also think of me. Whether they blame me for his death or not...There’s not a single person in the Fire Nation that wouldn’t have wanted him to come home alive instead of me. Myself included.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Azula said bluntly. “But even so, I admire your continued dedication to my cousin, Major. It would appear that everything he told me about your friendship was correct. And I’m sure he would be proud of how quickly you’ve risen up in the ranks.”

That brought a small smile onto his face, at least, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you. These are the only things I can do for the Colonel now. He, a great prince, gave his life for me, a worthless grunt. Now, I’ve decided that I must make my life worth his sacrifice. I’m going to do my best to become someone great like him. In doing that, and in investigating his death, I can finally start to make up for what I let him do that day.”

“I see.” He certainly seemed determined enough, and fairly intelligent. Most importantly, Lu Ten had had absolute faith in him, from what he had said in his letters. Her own role in this war was, of course, her top priority, but when she had the time to spare on it, she would have to keep an eye on Seigi’s career and make sure he kept his word. It was what her cousin would do, after all. “Good luck with that, then. I’ll give you a way to keep in contact with me if you happen to find any solid evidence for your theory, and of course I will contact you if I happen to do the same.”

“Yes, Princess. I can’t thank you enough for listening to me.”

“I’m doing this for my cousin, not for you. And I hope for your sake that you have the resolve to keep going with this if it turns out you’re right. You don’t know who we might have to make enemies of if this is true.”

“Don’t worry about my resolve. As I’m sure you can see...” With a wry smile, Seigi gestured to the scars that marred his face. “Every time I catch a glimpse of my own reflection, I’m reminded of what I have to live for, now that I’m disgraced. It fuels my will to move forward, and so my resolve can never falter.”

“Well, at the very least, you’re a cut above my brother in that area,” Azula said with a smirk of her own. “To him, all his scar is is an excuse to whine about how _hard_ his life is.”

His smile faltered. “With all due respect, Princess, do not lump me in with a traitor like Prince Zuko. I assure you, my loyalty is infallible.”

“Only a joke, Major, don’t worry.” He really didn’t have any choice but to be loyal, she reasoned. “The entrance to the base is coming back up. So did you have anything else to say, or should we head back in?”

“Just one thing,” Seigi said as they neared the gate. 

“And what would that be?” 

“I get the sense that the three of you don’t need it, but I wish you, Lady Suzume, and Lady Shirogane luck on your campaign to Ba Sing Se. I know that none of you would ever give up before the city was taken, and I look forward to the day I hear that you’ve claimed it for your own.”

“Well, you won’t have to wait long for that, Major,” Azula said, lifting her head proudly as they reentered the base, heading for the stables. “I can promise you that.”

“I would expect nothing less from you, Princess. The Colonel would be very proud of you, I hope you know that.”

“Kind of you to say,” she remarked, dismounting and absently patting her lizard on its long neck. 

“I’m not saying it to be kind. I’m saying it because it’s true,” Seigi insisted, hopping off his own lizard. “It seems to me that you are the only one left who is capable of finishing what your cousin started in that city. But then, that’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?”

Azula regarded the soldier’s bright smile and shining eyes with a carefully blank expression. _The way he’s looking at me...I wonder if he used to look at Lu Ten like that, too._ “I suppose so.”

“One last thing: this should go without saying, but if there is anything you ever need of me, merely let me know and I will be there.”

“You’re right - that should go without saying, soldier.”

“Mm, but my fealty runs deeper. As we both know, Fire Nationals are an honorable people, and ones that make sure to repay their debts. The colonel, a member of the royal family, gave his life up for me. So it stands to reason that my life should be given to another member of the royal family as a form of compensation, doesn’t it?”

Somewhat taken aback, she considered him for a moment. The concept of one offering their life in service to a family who had lost a member to them was a legitimate practice in their nation’s history, but one that had long since become antiquated. Still, Seigi’s apparent insistence on adhering to it could certainly prove useful.

“If it will help you move on from what happened, then it does,” she answered him, putting as much gentleness and sympathy in her voice as she could while still sounding genuine. “Your life is all you have to offer our family, at this point, but it will suffice.”

Clearly pleased, Seigi bent into a deferential bow. “I promise you, Princess, only say the word and I will do my best to become everything you need.”

_You want to pledge your life to me? Very well, then, I’ll take it._ “I’m honored. But at the moment, all I want to do is go back to my room for the night. You’ll take care of the animals.” 

“Yes. They’ll be all ready to go by the time you leave in the morning.” He didn’t look up, but she could see his smile broaden. “Thank you again for listening to me. It was a pleasure and an honor to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’ll be thinking about what you said, Major. Don’t get yourself killed before you can give my cousin and I what you owe us,” she warned. 

With that, she turned and headed back towards the barracks, hoping that neither Mai nor Ty Lee had woken up to find her missing. When she entered the bedroom to find it just as she had left it and her friends seemingly sound asleep, she thought that she had been successful, until just as she was about to slip back into bed beside Ty Lee, an amused voice from the top bunk made her freeze: “About time you got back in. I was just thinking I might have to run off the base and check on you.”

Immediately annoyed at herself for being startled, Azula glared up at the older girl’s perfectly still form. “Very funny. How did you know I left?”

Mai snorted. “You’re not _that_ stealthy, you know. You woke me up when you were leaving. It took you longer than usual to come back in, so I turned over to look out the window and saw you riding out.”

“My apologies for making you go to such trouble.”

“You’re not funny either. Who was that guy, anyway? Anyone Ty Lee should be concerned about?” 

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, getting back under the blankets as carefully as she could. “It just so happens that that was an old friend of my cousin’s.”

“Lu Ten’s friend?” Azula smirked - for once, there was an audible note of surprise in her friend’s voice. “What did he want with you that you had to ride away from the base for?”

She paused, considering how to answer. Eventually, she would run Seigi’s theory by Mai and Ty Lee as a matter of course. They were the only ones she would trust with such delicate information. But not now, and more importantly, not here. Seigi had made that very clear to her. “Nothing you need to hear about,” she said dismissively.

“Yeah, right. That couldn’t have been _nothing - “_

“You know, I think you would have liked him, Mai. Don’t you have a thing for foolish boys with ruined faces?”

“...Good night.” 

Azula smirked, settling down into the pillow. Granted, there were more sensitive ways of letting Mai know that the conversation was over, but she hadn’t much liked not being obeyed when she’d tried the first time. In the silence that followed, it occurred to her that her midnight ride with Seigi had been just what she needed. Contented exhaustion allowed her to fall asleep quickly and easily.

This time, when she dreamed, it was not her cousin but her enemies who were drenched in blood. And this time, when a royal warrior set out to conquer Ba Sing Se once and for all, it would not be her cousin who took the throne, bathed in the light of the sun: it would be her.

~0~

"I have to hand it to you, Uncle. I never thought that you could possibly sink any lower, but for the first and only time, you have managed to prove me wrong. Well done."

"...If you have come here to gloat, my niece, I can guarantee you will leave disappointed."

“Are my intentions really that obvious?” Azula said with a sneer, as she pushed the heavy cell door shut and leaned casually against it. Though Iroh appeared unfazed by being bound in chains of both stone and steel - she wasn’t about to take any chances underestimating him again - it didn’t make the image any less satisfying. “Well, I don’t see how that matters anyway. This is the privilege of the victor, is it not?”

“Only an ungraceful one. I admit, I never thought you to be this petty. You would prefer to waste your time kicking a harmless old man while he’s down, than spend it managing the affairs of your new conquest?”

“Mm, nice try, but I’m not like you. I found I had a few minutes of spare time in between my duties, and I wanted to use them to see my uncle one last time before we set sail for the Fire Nation. I won’t have much time to deal with you when we’re back home, after all.” The next words she made sure to draw out, slow and smug: “And neither will Zuko, ever again.”

Iroh’s eyes narrowed. “You have misled your brother very cleverly, I will admit. But just because I could not stop him from siding with you this time, do not think that you have succeeded in permanently corrupting him.”

Azula raised an eyebrow. “Corrupting him? The last time I checked, _you_ were the one corrupting him, Uncle. Trying to convince him to give up on the task Father set him, to turn traitor against his nation, to pull him down into disgrace with you...And through it all, having the nerve to insist that you have his best interests at heart.”

Iroh snorted. “And _you_ do?”

_Point taken._ Not even Zuko would be stupid enough to think that she would give him everything he’d ever wanted out of the goodness of her heart. This move, like every other, was purely tactical: she would always look that much better in Father’s eyes next to Zuko, and if it turned out that something had gone wrong in her plan that she had overlooked, then she had someone perfectly convenient there to sell down the river. But those weren’t the things she was here to rub in.

“Well, for one thing, I’m the only person who has actually helped him get back home. You know, the place he’s been trying to return to for the past three years, the place he actually belongs? You claimed to be accompanying him in his banishment to help him, but all you ever really wanted to do was tie him to you. And I think we both know why.” She waited, but he just kept glaring silently at her. No matter - she knew he was thinking exactly what she was. “He doesn’t really mean anything to you as his own person, does he? The only reason you ever got close to him was because you needed _something_ to fill the hole in your heart that Lu Ten left, and he was just the most convenient replacement. And to do it, you would take him away from his only remaining family, the ones who, instead of coddling him and weakening him, care enough about him to try and make him _strong.”_

“You liar,” Iroh snarled. “You and Ozai are incapable of caring about anyone but yourselves. It is so like you to try and taint the only healthy relationship Zuko has at this point. He never needed either of you; he needs a decent father - “

“You’re _not_ his father,” she cut him off smoothly. “And all the better for him. The last son you had, you taught him that he was as expendable as any other soldier, let him die like a dog on the battlefield, and then before his body is even cold, you completely invalidate his sacrifice by turning tail and running like the selfish, spineless bastard you are.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of saying the same things over and over again?”

“As long as you continue to go around acting like you’re a saint among demons?” Azula’s smile faded, leaving only contempt on her face. “I will never let you forget that you killed your own son. I’ll admit that even he is not perfect, but Zuko and I are _lucky_ to have the father we do - we could have ended up with a careless fool like _you._ Lu Ten deserved better than to be saddled with you. If he were still alive now - “

“Then we would not be having this conversation,” Iroh cut her off. “And do you really think that if he were still here to do it, that _I_ would be the one condemned? What about you, who let yourself be turned into everything he _hated?_ He would see no differently than me, or Zuko, or your mother - he would condemn you as the monster you are and cast you away.” 

The second the word “monster” left his mouth, it took every ounce of self-restraint Azula had not to lunge at her uncle and claw his eyes out. But no, _not now,_ she told herself firmly. She had to control herself, or she would only prove him right. So she forced her lips into a mockery of a grin, crossing her arms and digging her nails into her forearms. “Well, thanks to you, we’ll never know, now, will we?” she hissed. “Don’t act like you still care about how Lu Ten would feel about anything. You’ve spent the past six years spitting on his grave and trying to undermine everything he ever fought for. You’re his enemy; _I’m_ the last family member left who’s actually doing what he wanted. You took away his honor, but by taking the Earth King’s throne in his place, now I have restored it. You are nothing but a failure, as both a soldier and a father, and everything I’ve been saying since Lu Ten died is true: it would have been better for all involved if _you_ had died instead of him.”

She had come here looking for satisfaction, but it appeared she was going to leave in a far uglier mood than she had arrived in. There was nothing more to gain from this conversation. So without another word, she turned and yanked the door open, but she had only gotten one step out into the hall when Iroh spoke up again. 

“Azula. Wait.”

She went still, neither speaking nor looking back. Iroh continued, in a far less vehement tone: “I did not expect it of you...But you are not just defending Lu Ten because you find it the best way to hurt me, are you? Even being what you are...you still care about him.”

“...More than you ever did,” she ground out. “What’s your point?”

“You can take this or leave it, as you wish. But if you go out to the grasslands south of the city proper, on the hill with the largest tree on top of it, you will find something that will allow you to pay your respects to your cousin.”

The silence hung in the air between them for a moment more, before Azula walked out without a response, making a point of slamming the door behind her. As she started to make her way out of the holding cells, she wasn’t fast enough to keep from hearing Iroh sigh deeply and mutter to himself, “Such a spiteful child.”

~0~

She was still bristling over the conversation with her uncle even an hour later, even as she was following his instructions to the letter. The idea to ignore him out of spite had crossed her mind, but she had written it off as childish. Proving Iroh right would be of no benefit to her, and in any case, she had to admit she was curious. By the time she finally had time to go outside the city, the sun had begun to set, turning the drying yellow grass to waves of gold to match the sky. 

Despite her interest, she hadn’t been expecting anything big or impressive, and so when she reached the hill that Iroh had indicated, she was not surprised to find only a small collection of items at the base of the tree. She knelt to inspect them more closely: a small red clay jar, containing thin, burnt-out incense candles, beside an ink portrait propped up against rocks. She wondered who had drawn her cousin - for all his talents, Lu Ten had been no great artist, and so he must have asked or hired someone else to paint his portrait for him. The characters beside the picture, however...There was no mistaking it, that was his handwriting.

_To General Iroh: See you after we win the war. Your loyal son, Lu Ten._

Loyal son...It must be a family trait, she mused, for the princes to swear loyalty to the wrong man, and then to be ruined for that mistake. But Zuko had, for years, been asking for everything that had happened to him, while she couldn’t think of a single thing that Lu Ten had done to deserve his grisly fate. Zuko was and would always be a mere tool, to be used by his sister and father and then cast aside as soon as that usefulness ran out. Already, she was thinking of ways that she would be able to take advantage of   
his reinstated status as the heir apparent; one day, there would be much to gain from having the Fire Lord as her puppet. 

“But you would never have let anyone do that to you,” she murmured, eyes fixed on her cousin’s face. “You were too smart for that. You would have made an excellent Fire Lord - once your useless father was out of the way, of course. He ruins everything that we work for, but you would have been able to fix it, wouldn’t you? I...”

She trailed off, wondering why, even in such a soft voice, she couldn’t make herself finish her thought out loud: _I wish that you were still here to fix everything._ Was it that it was, on some level, traitorous, to wish a Fire Lord other than her father on the throne? No, that couldn’t be it. As things were now, there could be no ruler better than Father, and it wouldn’t be possible to bring back one like her cousin, anyway. No...Perhaps that was what was causing that tight feeling in her throat and chest.

“I still remember when you actually _could_ fix everything, you know. I remember what you promised me back then. _As long as I’m here, I’ll always protect you,_ I think your exact words were?” A small, rueful smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Good thinking on your part, including that first part. That way, if anything ever happened to you, you wouldn’t be going back on your word. Not that it matters now, of course. I can protect myself perfectly well, even from...” Even thousands of miles away, her father’s warning glare in her mind stopped that train of thought cold. “I can’t say as much for Zuko, unfortunately, but I’ve grown strong since you left, just as you wanted me to.”

She was nothing if not a perfect soldier, at least: even after his death, she had followed Lu Ten’s orders to the letter. She could perfectly recall every one of his final words to her, before he had sailed away to his death. _Protect your honor, as a warrior. And no matter what anyone tells you, forge your own path. Your life is yours, and yours alone, to do with as you believe is right._

“Uncle is wrong, completely wrong. Isn’t it disgraceful? His own son, and he didn’t know you half as well as he thinks he did. But I know better. I did everything right, just like you told me to. I became exactly what you wanted me to be. If you were here now, you would be proud of me for it. You would tell me so...You would be the only one who did.”

_Oh, come now...We both know that’s not true,_ some persistent, poisonous voice at the back of her mind, that she could never quite silence completely, insisted. _He hated your father - why would he care about you? He would look at you exactly the way your mother did: as just an extension of Ozai. Younger, yes, and perhaps smarter, but certainly no less filthy and worthy of contempt. Not a_ person, _just a worthless_ monster.

_Shut up, shut up!_ she internally shouted it down, even as her stomach turned and her eyes began to sting with tears at the mere thought of being rejected by the one family member who had unconditionally loved her. “He would never do that. Not to me.” Her throat was closing up, leaving her unable to speak in anything above a ragged whimper. “I did everything he wanted. I grew up _perfect,_ just like him. That should be enough for him to still care about me. It _has_ to be, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to _do_ for everyone - “

“Uh...Azula?”

Her heart just about stopped at the sound of the voice, and she spun around so fast she almost cricked her neck. “Zuko!” she snarled, hoping that she would out of sheer will be able to keep her face from flushing with embarrassment. “What are you doing here?!”

Surprisingly, Zuko didn’t shout back. “Looking for you,” he answered evenly. “I know you went down to the cells to bother Uncle - do you think you were the only one he told about this place? When I saw you coming out this way, I figured that this would be the only thing around here that would interest you.” 

“Good for you, you’ve mastered basic logic,” she said with a roll of her eyes. Perhaps both the tone and the gesture were slightly too exaggerated, but Zuko wasn’t perceptive enough to tell the difference between her normal self and a sarcastic mask. “Or, maybe not: why would you bother walking all the way out here looking for me? Did something happen back at the palace?”

“No. I wanted to see if you were okay,” he corrected her. “I...thought you might not react well to being so close to where he died, especially since it was Uncle who set this place up and I know how you feel about him. And I guess I was right, if it’s actually making you tear up.”

“What?” How had he noticed?! “It’s not. Give me more credit than _that.”_

“It’s okay.” The gentleness of his tone surprised her. “We both miss him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Zuko,” she said as flippantly as she could, crossing her arms. “Really, this is an awful country, with all its dust and dirt constantly getting in my eyes.”

“...I understand, you know. He was my big brother too.”

_You really are too soft. Too simple. You think you understand?_ Azula narrowed her eyes, considering Zuko, the brother who should never have survived but had somehow managed to. The more she thought about it, the less sense it made to her: here stood the weakling of the royal family, meeting her gaze fearlessly, having survived everything that, by all logic, should have killed him (cockroach-like, it occurred to her). And while he did this, their perfect soldier and perfect leader, the brother who actually deserved to live, rotted in the earth worlds away. _And even dead, he still manages to be more useful and more honorable than Zuko,_ she thought wryly.

It would do no good to point any of this out to Zuko; in fact, it would be downright detrimental to her. As much as she burned to get it through his thick, arrogant head exactly how he failed to measure up to everyone else in the family, hitting him in such vulnerable areas directly after finally pulling him away from their uncle’s love (selfish, conditional love, but Zuko would not accept that just yet) ran the risk of turning him away from her all over again. And if she continued with this conversation, not only would it inevitably go in that direction, but she would also put herself in the dangerous position of possibly losing control again in front of her brother, neither of which would help her. Best to just drop it all right now.

“It’s not important now,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m going back to the palace. Come with me or stay here, I don’t care.” 

Without waiting for a response, she strode past Zuko and down the hill, going back the way she had come across the grass. Behind her, she heard him take a deep, exasperated breath, and his similarity to their mother and uncle made her bristle. But he said nothing to her, and when she glanced over her shoulder for a moment, she saw that he had ignored her in favor of kneeling in front of the portrait himself, paying his own respects. When she thought of the dual dao swords waiting for Zuko back in the Fire Nation, she felt a twinge of envy and disgust, but nowhere near as strong as it would have been six years ago. 

It didn’t matter to her any more that Zuko had inherited Jianhuren. All he had were mere objects, that meant nothing in and of themselves. She was the one who had become a warrior to rival Lu Ten, with the knowledge he had passed down to her, and even if her brother had been the one to take up his swords, she would be the one to truly carry on his legacy. She was the only one who was strong enough, and who loved him enough, to do so, after all. 

_And now I am going to make you more proud of me than you ever were when you were alive._ Azula walked a little taller at the thought, and lifted her head to the deep golden sky. Perhaps Lu Ten really would be able to hear her words and see her power and still love her, from wherever he was now. _You will not have died in vain. I am going to finish what you started, cousin, once and for all. I promise, I am going to win this war in your place._

~0~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - This fic will forever stand as a testament to the fact that I can’t update on time to save my life. 
> 
> This is actually the first multi-chapter fic I have ever been able to finish, but I never expected it would take me almost two whole years to do it. It feels weird and great at the same time to finally be done with something I’ve been working on for so long. Thank you to everyone who read, commented, bookmarked, and left kudos on this story! You have all been so great and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.


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